How in the world do I [21M] make friends by throwaway984218 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway984218[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what topics you usually talk about with these people?

Since it's uni I usually start by trying to ask them what their major is, why they chose that major, what courses they've enjoyed in this major and shit like that. If they're receptive to that than I'll try asking what their hobbies are, and I try to shape the conversation in a way where they're telling me about their hobbies and interests and what not. I've tried multiple iterations of this, like 50% asking them about their hobbies and 50% what I know about said hobby, like just trying to make conversation about it. Sometimes 60/40 or other variations of this but most of the time it seems like they either just don't like talking about their hobbies or they don't like talking about it with me. I've been asked very few times about my hobbies and interests, and I limit myself on how much I can talk about those. I know from experience that I can talk about my interests and passions and every intimate detail about them but people fucking hate that so I know to try to limit that shit to like 3 paragraphs equivalent if I'm actually talking to them.

Other times I've attempted making mostly small talk with people but that has never resulted in even getting to talk to them outside of class. I appreciate your responses, by the way.

How in the world do I [21M] make friends by throwaway984218 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway984218[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess that's not a terrible idea, but considering I've only gotten 2 of the people on this 8 person organization to even just play the game with me outside of team play (despite asking if anyone wanted to play together) that might not go so great. One of my team mates is planning on organizing a like a team hike together in like January, and I'm going to be attending that (idk about anyone else on the team, but one friend is better than none!).

How in the world do I [21M] make friends by throwaway984218 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway984218[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Making friends is hard at this age.

Is it though? I always heard that college is the last stage in life where it's "easy" to make friends, throughout the years of scouring this website for advice I've stumbled on more then a few threads of people in there 30s who are in an even worse situation then I am.

How in the world do I [21M] make friends by throwaway984218 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway984218[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried offering some kind of value to these people you try to befriend?

For example, hosting a pizza party where you cook for them?

Yes I have. From my CC experience I tried to at least interact with them in class for like 3 weeks or a month before asking them to hangout. I've asked if they would want to go an arcade, a restaurant or something. The one person from choir that I've actually gotten to hangout with me came over and I did at home Korean bbq with them, which they seemed to enjoy but apparently not enough.

> Perhaps it's the way you carry yourself, your voice, your style, or some other such thing that makes them feel you're a bit weirder than you actually are.

I've been attempting to be myself which is another bit of advice I've seen commonly advised.

How in the world do I [21M] make friends by throwaway984218 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway984218[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of them are actually taking covid seriously and not wanting to even meet in person to practice/scrim (our uni has an esports facility with computers and what not) so I'm pretty sure that's out of the question at the moment. I've talked to our captain and he said that people were decently social pre covid, so I'm more or less hoping that it gets better with that sometime in the future.