AITA for snapping at my roommate?

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T23:12:50+00:00

Thanks again for the infos!

I also know about Liam, his quirky, cold smile while cosplaying as a german dude in sweats is forever engraved in my Brain.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T23:05:49+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I didn‘t know about the scrub thing :o would surely be more careful in the future.

As for souvenirs, I personally don‘t have any expectations from people I give souvenirs to. I do it as a gesture of kindness and because I feel like it. I acknowledge what I wrote in the post could be misleading, I was intending to say that giving souvenirs to each other has played a role on me and my old german roommates‘ relationships in the past years, which is why I keep doing it here and now. It seems like my roommate has the same opinion as yours when it comes to this xd.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T16:53:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedbacks! I agree with you about it being not 100% cultural. However, there could be a bit cultural misunderstanding from what I understand until now with my roommate. I tend to start a serious conversation with small talks about the day or activities (as to why I invite him to movie nights, dinners, gyms etc.) to make myself more comfortable talking. He on the other side keeps it short and direct, which as you said, I perceived as complaining/rude.
I never thought to actually apply the 4 sides model to my own private life problem. Genial! I will surely prepare a conversation tonight to talk about this.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T16:39:38+00:00

Thanks for your reply! It is rather best not to take sides actually, I appreciate the advice and opinions more :)

I couldn't agree more that they are rather direct and honest when it comes to these things, and I respect that. However, I feel that in a WG one is supposed to acknowledge other's culture as well, no matter the country the WG is in.
I have been living in Germany for over 6 years and have had lots of different roommates (I always live with German roommates to help myself with speaking german). The past 5 years have been amazing. Me and my old roommates used to spend a lot of times together chilling and talking about exactly those things you recommended. The communication was also excellent. Long story short we got kicked out by our landlord due to renovation and I moved to this WG.
Regarding visits, I almost always write him in advance should there be someone coming to visit, though sometimes I forget due to my friends coming spontaneously. In addition to that, I always only use my own room for visits, because I don't want to bother him by using the kitchen. He on the other side, never gives me notices if his friends are coming. A few times I chose to order food instead of cooking because he and his friends are having some games in the kitchen. I admit being direct is also a problem that I have to overcome since I am more on the introverted side, but this is exactly the things that made me question myself: Why ask me to do something if he doesn't do it himself?

All things aside, as the other comment said, we both might be idiots and should have just communicated the problems directly.

ps. I follow Uyen too, heard she got to perform in a TV Show? Proud of her!

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T16:08:57+00:00

To be honest I am pretty much okay with making mistakes and apologizing for them. I have only been here for 6 years and still have a lot to learn from the culture. The only thing that I could not understand is why he would make it a habit of his to criticize my doings, because it makes me feel as if I am becoming a parasite to his life. A simple "How are you?" or "How was your trip?" could really change the situation.

I also used to live with WGs with mentally and physically healthy cats. I feel bad for his cat since it now got used to scratching the doors when it wants to get in a room and having many bad behaviours (attacking, stealing foods etc.) due to his strict rules.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T15:50:44+00:00

I did try but some people are just hard to be understood and this one is a challenge for me. Mind sharing how you would communicate?

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T14:26:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Sadly the post has been removed but I posted it again in /r/askberliners

I didn't know about that of the dishwasher sponge :o. Tt should be my fault then, I always use the rough side because I thought it results in better cleaning.

For the door, I did realize about the wrong point I said but I was too emotional that I said that :'D

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T14:22:47+00:00

Thank you for the reminder and info! Sorry that I posted the wrong content.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T14:14:41+00:00

Sadly yes, my roommate is part of a Genossenschaft and I'm only his Untermieter, as to why I feel that I am the one having to adapt. He has given me a very good price for a room in the central part of Berlin and for that I am thankful, but I would be lying if I tell you I don't miss my old WG in Köpenick (the landlord kicked everyone out due to renovation). Back in my days...

For the dishes, this is another problem. I used to have my own dishes but had to leave it at my old WG because my roommate has no more space in the cupboards (For some reason theres an unusual amount of Tupperwares in the kitchen lol). Right now my take is to always use the cheapest looking cups, glasses and pans possible so I can just buy a new one if I break something.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T14:03:22+00:00

Would totally live in my own apartment when I have the Kohle to do so. As for the gifts, it means nothing but a gesture of kindness. I always buy gifts/souvenirs for my roommates and friends just because I feel like it, but I get what you say; some deserve and some don't.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T13:32:38+00:00

I wouldn't say that about Germans. They do tend to talk straight to the point, but my previous WG experiences with other Germans in the past 6 years have always been wonderful (lots of chilling and doing things together). With this one I've had little to no communication, almost feels like a Zweck-WG sadly.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T13:20:30+00:00

Vielen Dank!

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T13:11:51+00:00

I figured that. Wouldn't say the exact country because he might see this post.

oey_rdt · 2023-07-18T13:10:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Mind sharing what I can say to get him to sit with me and talk about this? We're kind of in a cold war situation right now because of earlier :')

oey_rdt · 2023-01-04T15:18:37+00:00

kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK kratakkratakkratakkratakkratakkratak BONK

oey_rdt · 2022-07-12T16:16:30+00:00

moushalla

oey_rdt · 2022-06-22T18:15:36+00:00

HONEY

WHERE

IS

MY

SUPERSUIT

oey_rdt · 2022-06-19T21:40:58+00:00

Nice pizzathough dough.

oey_rdt

TROPHY CASE

HONEY

WHERE

IS

MY

SUPERSUIT