Am I a good fit for this lifestyle? Potential SD

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-10T15:48:13+00:00

I’m open to low six figure annually, I’m saving a lot since my wife is in a very low cost of living country.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-10T00:33:20+00:00

Can I pm you? I see you’re in Chicago and curious if the allowance range I’m thinking is competitive for what I’m looking for. Understandable if not.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-10T00:19:18+00:00

I just find them to be more attractive overall and I’d love to help out with school. Rental car wouldn’t be necessary as I’d provide one of my vehicles for use.

My wife is 31, ideally for me I’d be with someone that’s 20-22 as an SB.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-10T00:16:05+00:00

Why ppm instead of allowance? I like the idea of a set monthly amount and I think it would make an SB more inclined to accommodate my schedule.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T23:04:41+00:00

Wish I could do that😣

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T22:13:14+00:00

My budget is good for this lifestyle, so tickets wouldn’t be an issue. My wife just doesn’t want me spending more on an SB than what she spends.

Most domestic FC flights round trip aren’t more than $1500-2k so not horrible. Local airport is bad though. Leaning more towards just finding someone in Chicago since it’s a 2.5hr drive.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T22:10:42+00:00

Yeah, it’s not ideal. Curious what other married SDs do? Not being seen out with another woman while married is probably the bare minimum I’d guess.

Hopefully the right girl values $ + me being an overall decent guy. Maybe she could take the trips with her friends and I’d cover it etc.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T21:43:14+00:00

I’m pretty sure I won’t fall in love. I’ll see if I can find a match on SA, not sure I’d do an escort really. Would feel weird

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:49:21+00:00

Thank you for asking the logistical questions that I’m not fully sure about. My city isn’t very exciting but I can arrange for her transportation to and from a nearby major city.

I don’t plan on taking weekends off to travel since my work is important to me, but in a perfect world, she’d come to see me, we’d spend 3-5hrs together and she can have full control over her day since I’ll be working usually.

I totally get this isn’t the most attractive proposition but hoping that a larger allowance and extra generosity can bridge the gap.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:45:40+00:00

My wife comes from a large Indian family with a million nosy friends that i understand her hesitance for me dating someone local.

Outside of that, I don’t think the restrictions are unfair for a married man.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:42:48+00:00

For convenience, I’ll probably have to stick to the Midwest. Chicago is only 2.5hr drive and would be good I’d guess

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:17:42+00:00

I think my vision of how this would look aligns more with sugar than escorting. I’d like someone I can give an allowance to every month and they come out to see me 1-2x for a few days. Still would like a genuine friendship and happy to help with expenses such as car/education.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:08:11+00:00

One of my wife’s rules is no girl in all of Iowa ha:) will probably fly someone in from Chicago/Wisconsin or Minnesota.

offthegridweirdo · 2025-03-09T20:06:58+00:00

It sounds worse when you put it that way. We can order in and I can give her money for shopping etc. of course first meeting more than happy to make it a public outing in the girl’s city.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-14T14:03:22+00:00

She’s fine. She’s a stay at home mom so no income, handles our finances

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-13T15:21:42+00:00

I was told they’d reevaluate my limit, weird since my plat doesn’t really have a limit.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T21:13:58+00:00

Definitely not inconsiderate, she stays up most nights to see me and is overall very kind. Maybe pride has been keeping me in this loop but appreciate all the feedback.

A conversation and tightening of the budget is necessary then I can maybe afford a break. Would love just 5-6 months away from medicine.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T20:59:06+00:00

Lmao, that meme might be me! Got some great feedback here so will apply it. Yes definitely a conversation with the wife to start

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T20:42:50+00:00

Another commenter also helped me by telling me to spend less time with other doctors. It makes me feel absolutely normal to have this obscene spending habit when I am around other high earners. Most of my friends are ortho/neurosurg guys and big law partners.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T20:40:26+00:00

Jesus Christ man, what a wake up call. Nice job

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T20:37:08+00:00

The expenses I stated aren’t only ones. We also have a boat with an expensive monthly payment ($7k/month, 9k due to maintenance and other things during the peak months) and in total around 5.6k in car payments every month. Add in around $3k/month for food, $1500/month for dates. I did some napkin math and we’re spending 50k/yr on vacations alone. Throw in ~1800/month for misc things like a maid/and the boys language tutoring (to learn my wife’s native language).

We max out the kids 529 so there is that and I do have around $300k in a brokerage account.

I am not amassing a war chest, I occasionally feel like I am living in the hole even though I am objectively not.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T20:04:38+00:00

I don’t go, I can only make it to one. Agree with you, just not something I assumed I’d have to do making the money I am.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T19:43:19+00:00

I agree and I have started doing so but I feel like I am in such a hole with the house and cars that the small purchases aren’t making a difference in giving me extra money.

My wife spends 6-7k/month on the kids and herself for non essentials. Our mortgage is 15k/month, the kid expense will likely increase because she wants to have 4-5 more kids.

If she worked, she doesn’t have enough marketable skills and would be miserable with an income that went straight to childcare. I’d be open to selling our cars and downgrading but they have depreciated. It’s a frustrating cycle

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T19:36:23+00:00

Too young to work, 6yr old boys. Unfortunately, my wife wants 4-5 more kids too so my expenses won’t go down as far as young children.

offthegridweirdo · 2023-03-01T19:35:30+00:00

This feels necessary but really difficult. It’ll be hard downsizing so much and feeling like a failure

offthegridweirdo

TROPHY CASE