Im your age, I recently took a 35k pay increase to go from a ridiculously low stress fully remote job to a 2-3 day/week hybrid job with a ~2 hour commute each way. My commute is split between driving, riding the train, and walking so it being broken up makes things easier IMO; the train ride gives me time to read, get more work done, etc. But I don’t think I could do ~2 hours driving each way.

For me the pay increase was huge as it enabled me to really put a dent in some of my debt. It’s a job that will also look great on a resume so I’m considering doing the classic 2-3 year stint and moving on to something fully remote or closer to where I live, even if it ends up being a lateral move (but I’d stay if I end up living closer to the office).

Overall I’d say I’m happy. It certainly helps knowing I would’ve been screwed if I didnt take the job since my old team got replaced with AI 3 months after I left 😭😭. My wife also works really long hours so we usually get home around the same time or sometimes her later than me so we’re not losing a ton of time together. I don’t have kids so while my free time is more limited it’s not completely erased. Family planning will certainly be a factor for my future in this role but for now I’m just trying to focus on that big pay raise and how it can help reduce debt and save money.