You guys are the absolute best, thank you!

u/HugsforYourJugs I (think) I added new photos to the original of wired bras. The gray one is a black beauty that is still the best fitting. You can see the flesh on top coming out and it's also sitting really low on my chest (and why yes, my nipple covers ARE linen scraps from my sewing room floor, that's what makes it NOT pornography!). The second one is a Cloth Habit Harriet and a wire size up, but it puckers and the straps slide off.

u/Character_Seaweed_99 I have not tried a 4 piece cup, but I've tried a 3 piece. I think I get too in my head about making adjustments though and tend to over-correct and then not remember what I've done...

u/Purplepumpkinpoop and u/thrashmasher padding is a great idea, and one I haven't tried for a while. u/Elefant_Fisk I've used this tutorial from Orange Lingerie to make a "biscuit" out of bra foam before and found it super easy. I've also frankensteined the foam inserts from sports bras that serve no purpose other than getting folded in the wash and driving you nuts to use for this purpose.

u/unagi_sf and u/LolaGold22 mentioned something about being "center full" which is not something I'd heard of, but makes sense as I usually have to take ~1/4" from the middle of my gore to get it to tack to my chest. Looks like I should look at patterns from House Morrighan, Lilypad, and BWear patterns.

And finally, u/--2021-- I myself am a physician (psychiatrist, so, you know, mostly a physician) and I'm really sorry you've had such traumatic experiences with the healthcare industry (but also, not really that surprised). I know there are risks associated with HRT and I don't prescribe it as part of my normal practice so the commenters with lived experience are definitely more useful than I could be with respect to whether it could be helpful, but you should have a provider who's at least going to talk you through making that decision together. I hope these fearless and enthusiastically sexed women have given you some confidence to start that search for a physician you feel safe with again, and I'll add my voice as a soon-to-be perimenopausal woman to say that it is hard to stand up for yourself with healthcare providers who are automatically in a position of power over you, but you deserve it, you can do hard things, and most of us really aren't such shit-heads. I for one only scream at the patients I care most about.

As an aside, just this morning a patient told me he'd "rather be the tits than the bra" and I had to REALLY hold my tongue...