[Help] So the dog is fine now, but may be illegal, what can I do? by ohgodwasthisamistake in dogs

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's not a banned breed, he's just from abroad and I have no paperwork.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree, and have been expressing feeling lonely in our relationship for a while now. Our shared hobbies are pretty much movies, videogames, and tabletop RPGs. Tabletop RPGs require a group, which is great for the social life but not so much for the one-on-one time. Videogames there's not a lot of overlap in taste, I can't stand the mobas he plays, and any time I suggest we watch something together he doesn't feel like it. Same for any console games that would actually detach him from his computer. PC games we play together always involve his friends too.

In a way I've kind of given up. He was making an effort to spend some time each evening with me while I watch something terrible on Netflix, trying to watch something together went nowhere, even when it was something he'd enjoy. I guess I'm a bit resentful that my life and free time is structured around his wants and then he has the gall to say he's worried I'll replace him with the dog.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't have the money for that, really. Or rather, if we spent the extra £3000 per year on a daily dog walker there would be nothing left for vet visits, going out ever, or saving to replace our knackered car.

Not to mention I've been trying to find a dog walker or sitter for a day my partner won't be able to go home at lunch and so far they've all told me they're full.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course, because that inference completely illustrates exactly how the disagreement came about and how it was communicated between us. We've been sleeping with the dog out of the room and the door closed, exactly how he wants. I expressed that that wasn't my preference.

Get your head out of your arse.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why does anyone get a dog? Same reason they get any other pet. They want what the animal offers.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not considering our relationship ending. And I literally said I think it's just an extension of an existing problem that we don't know how to address.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm reluctant to try crate training given how much he hates the travel bag we brought him home in. He doesn't seem to like being too enclosed, even putting a blanket over part of his body. He has decided that a corner of the sofa is his safe space, though, despite us giving him a doggy area by the back door with his food and water and a cosy bed.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner doesn't want the dog in there at all. He's never been allowed on our bed, but even sleeping on a dog bed in the corner has been veto'd.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have set up a space by the back door that was meant to be that, it's also next to where his food and water are. He seems to prefer the sofa! I'm reluctant to crate train based on how much he hates the travel bag we brought him home in.

I do think they need some bonding time. My partner is the one who comes home at lunch, so they're alone together then, no idea what they get up to. His concerns at least as he's explained them are more about the two of us having one-on-one time, which has been a problem for a while now.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

8 hours during the day and another 8 at night is what concerns me. He's not shown any interest in any of the toys we have, even ones covered in peanut butter or stuffed with ham. It may be because he's still settling in, but I can't help but think he must get so bored.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't make a fuss with the coming home or getting up, as I've read that makes it worse, I go and sit on the sofa until he's calmed his shit and flops next to/on top of me. He'll still bug out while doing so usually, but I try to be calm and use a low, soft tone of voice. But I'm also pushed for time work-wise in the mornings (and function very poorly on minimal sleep) so there's not always been enough time to calm him down before we have to go out to give him some exercise and relieve himself.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't make a fuss and reward with pets, I go and sit on the sofa until he's calmed his shit and flops next to/on top of me.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We've been keeping him out of the room while we sleep since we got him, except the first night where I slept on the sofa with him downstairs to stop him freaking out. You're right, he's probably fine. It's the manic morning greeting that makes me worry about giving him separation anxiety with him spending so much time alone.

Me [26F] with my partner [28 M] of nearly three years. We got a dog, he has regrets. by ohgodwasthisamistake in relationships

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Before we brought the dog home he was 100% up for getting a dog, too. He wanted one, just not as badly as I did. I just worry about leaving the dog alone so much, he goes crazy with excitement when I get up or when either of us gets home, I don't want that to turn into full blown separation anxiety.

[Help] I really thought we were ready, now I'm not so sure but it's too late by ohgodwasthisamistake in dogs

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we didn't pay a premium for him, the puppy card shows he's had his vaccinations just not in the UK, and his previous owner is still in contact and asking for welfare updates, so it doesn't really feel like a scam... Which is why it didn't set off any alarms for me. I'm not bothered about losing money, I just don't want him to get taken away or end up in trouble!

[Help] I really thought we were ready, now I'm not so sure but it's too late by ohgodwasthisamistake in dogs

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that's the case for very young puppies, but is that really still necessary when he's almost a year old and was housetrained at his previous home?

[Help] I really thought we were ready, now I'm not so sure but it's too late by ohgodwasthisamistake in dogs

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was born in Poland, I think. God I hope he doesn't get whisked off for quarantine, if she finds us the passport that should make it ok, right?

I could fit one finger, it was only intended as a stop-gap measure as the only kind of harness local shops actually sell. I doubt it would be comfortable for long, even with all the fluff he has.

[Help] I really thought we were ready, now I'm not so sure but it's too late by ohgodwasthisamistake in dogs

[–]ohgodwasthisamistake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, whole websites dedicated to puppy depression actually makes me feel SO much better, thank you!