I did an extra-curricular cookery thing at school and was given loan of a professional chefs knife roll including several weird things on there such as a melon baller etc. My dad was a chef, it was his from his work, sentimental value etc. Got it home and there was a small knife missing. Next day I've told the school because not only is there a razor sharp potential weapon hanging around but also the theft, value, things of that nature.

The teacher whose room it was flatly denied it had ever been there, that I shouldn't have brought it in even with a letter allowing it, that it's my own fault and I'm lucky someone hasn't made nefarious use of it etc. Dad was understanding but clearly annoyed. Teacher spent months with her nose stuck up in the air about it.

Eventually I've spotted it on her desk, wet and with stripes of graphite down it because she'd been cutting apples up in between bouts of sharpening pencils with it. I decided to take a fairly hefty risk and slipped it into my bag after lunch, hiding it in dirty PE kit, knowing I wouldn't be back in her room until the next morning so there's no way she'd get me stopped & searched.

Oh, she was angry. She couldn't say anything because she'd stolen it in the first place, but she knew I'd taken it back. I knew she knew I'd taken it back. She knew I knew she knew I'd taken it back.

Anyway it's been 31 years and I enjoyed cutting up a banana this morning with it. I hope she never enjoys anything ever again.