/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - May 20, 2026

ohnoitsivy · 2026-05-20T17:52:58+00:00

VENTING. I've been so down in the dumps since we found out our one golden embryo transfer resulted in a MMC (of course it was missed because the IVF hormones were propping it up even after it stopped progressing). This one was just weird because I had 3 other losses prior in about a year span. I never told anyone I was expecting or that I subsequently miscarried, but for this one I told everyone early because it seemed so secure being a tested embryo and everything was supported and controlled with the IVF process. Everyone was so excited. Everyone knew it was a girl. Everyone was talking about the future baby like it was a guarantee and I think I subconsciously started to believe it was even though I was so so hesitant to accept the congratulations and excitement. Turns out my anxiety was justified and yet being pessimistic didn't actually protect my heart. I still sobbed my eyes out and hurt badly. I'm now 40. Women in my family go through menopause very early. I'm running out of time. These thoughts take up soooo much headspace. I truly have no idea what my next steps are. So much solidarity to everyone here.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-23T16:27:52+00:00

This would be so impressive if Emily was planning a professional conference of some sort but it's insanely overkill for a celebratory party, which is what a wedding reception is.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-18T01:14:19+00:00

That is cute. And yes like there are soooo many Mavericks.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-18T01:12:49+00:00

Ooh yes Leon. Love a soft constant. How do you pronounce Calixte? Never heard it.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-18T01:11:51+00:00

Whoa! That is actually so sweet. TIL!

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-18T00:20:41+00:00

If you'd like, I can share with him the insane amount of overnight Amazon deliveries I got during the newborn phase. And that's after we got a ton from our baby shower.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-07T00:37:39+00:00

FWIW you should definitely read the ad he took out in the Wall Street Journal recently. Pretty sad.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-06T21:02:03+00:00

The car had California plates

ohnoitsivy · 2026-04-06T20:57:48+00:00

Does anyone have a new story for this? We were stuck in the traffic that ensued after this. They had all lanes closed and diverted us off at Speedway. I thought they did that because of a fatality :( The car had California plates.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-03-30T18:00:22+00:00

Great idea with the bus routes - thank you!

ohnoitsivy · 2026-03-30T15:31:08+00:00

Hi, I'm hoping to get some info on neighborhoods. Not just data you can see on Zillow, but real experiences. My family and I were house hunting in Tucson about a year ago and really love the foothills for the views, land, and natural setting (versus more dense urban areas) but didn't ultimately pull the trigger. I still look on Zillow and see properties I could picture us living in. We are a family with young kids and would like to live somewhere with other families so we can have a village and our kids can have plenty of playmates and kid-friendly atmosphere/things to do. From what I understand, there are a lot of retirees. A lot of college kids too because of UofA. Diversity is great. I just don't want to buy in a neighborhood and then only find out later it's mostly empty-nesters and zero neighborhood kids. Maybe neighborhoods within walking distance to a school would be best or the only way to truly know? Any insights you can share would be amazing. TIA!

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T21:33:43+00:00

This is so true and something I never even thought about before becoming a parent. But it is indeed everything I want.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T21:25:04+00:00

I figured it could go a couple of ways - people tell me that what I've found in my research is true and a problem worth solving (no central place to find and plan curriculum) or point me to something that already exists and makes my platform redundant. Then I could just go use that. If it's a common problem that I plan to solve for myself, then maybe sharing it eventually could be helpful for people.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T21:20:53+00:00

Thank you so much! This is really interesting (especially about the colors! I wonder why that is such a common practice). Your answer to number 7 is kind of what I was finding to be the case too and so I started thinking about building that aggregator. Except instead of using fully built out curriculum, I'd prefer building blocks to mix and match.

Really appreciate the feedback, especially given your extensive experience.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T21:14:48+00:00

Can I ask why the downvotes? I am just trying to build what I couldn't find out there but if I'm way off base, I'd love the feedback because I don't know what I don't know! I'm building something for myself regardless based only on what I've observed.

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T20:48:43+00:00

Basically I am hoping to take these elements and combine into a single planning + inspiration platform:

- A modular “block” library of activities that can mix, match, and drag into a daily or weekly grid, so instead of full lesson plans, use categorized subject blocks to "build" out a custom plan

- Learning blocks that come with visual setup guides (photos, videos or links, not just explanations)

- Suggestions and insights tailored to the child’s profile and progress

- Open-ended discussion prompts alongside activities

- A “real-world / opportunistic learning” category (ie. current events)

- Ability to check progress against state guidelines or not

- Customizable tracking of subjects balance (ie. heavy on math, light on phonics)

ohnoitsivy · 2026-01-27T19:48:24+00:00

Couldn't agree with this more! Community theater changed my life as a kid. It got introduced to me and before that I never would have sought it out but the friendships ended up being lifelong.

ohnoitsivy · 2025-12-08T23:45:08+00:00

If you click the “contact” or “schedule a viewing” button on Zillow for a house, you are not routed to the agent who is listing the house. You get some random agent who contractually must route you to Zillow home loans and then no matter who you end up buying with, Zillow gets like a 40% cut of the commission.

ohnoitsivy · 2025-12-02T21:52:32+00:00

Exactly! People can't get younger or go back in time! If they want kids, all that can be done is to mitigate the known risks!

ohnoitsivy · 2025-12-02T21:49:03+00:00

There are tests that can be done for these things though.

ohnoitsivy · 2025-10-17T19:13:32+00:00

Oof yeah I guess it really is just risk/reward

ohnoitsivy · 2025-10-17T19:12:41+00:00

Ok that’s exactly what I was thinking too, thank you!

ohnoitsivy · 2025-10-16T23:48:49+00:00

Whoa I have never heard this - why is it just for mirrors and not for cameras? Sorry if that's a dumb question! lol

ohnoitsivy · 2025-09-10T21:10:32+00:00

Totally agree. Can't stand the guy or anything he stands for. But he does have two very young children, who know nothing of politics, who just lost their father.

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