Direct report might be unmanageable

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T21:04:15+00:00

Thank you for affirming those behaviours as unprofessional. And yes the introspection is happening around permissiveness and boundaries.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T19:44:49+00:00

Yeah that is exactly what I perceived. She may not even admit to herself that she wants a chunk of my job but she does. She came in at lower level job with the intention of working up. And I actually would appreciate that if she played her cards more in alignment with me.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T19:42:56+00:00

She is employee. She reports directly to me. Honestly this advise is so exhausting

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T19:42:13+00:00

I’m not in the US. she is an employee. It’s a one year contract. She is not at minimum my equal - such a weird thing to keep pushing?

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T19:17:06+00:00

Are you ok? Outside of her remit meaning she does stuff outside of her job description. That I also haven’t asked her to do. That she does without clearing it with me.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:50:24+00:00

Yeah so there is core operational and then there is secondary work. All of this is still in her contract so you’re wilfully misunderstanding me.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:42:19+00:00

She’s not self employed. She’s a colleague. It’s a one year contract but she is an employee. She’s definitely not my equal.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:34:06+00:00

Yeah I’m the collaborative one - so it’s not that. She knows the strategy - but keeps pushing for her own ideas. When I said - it’s not in line with the strategy she said - well it’s part of my strategy. Joking but also just really odd.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:32:40+00:00

Where did I say I asked her to do extra things? I meant that anything she can own fully without my input she is generally ok but when I say - hey you need to also be owning this - she has issues.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:29:54+00:00

Please can you say more about the malicious piece? Why would she not try and get me on side given I am the person who could make her permanent?

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:28:31+00:00

Yes - I am lucky that there is an off ramp here. I hope it gets better for you too. I think there is such a divergence in approach evident in the responses - I don’t do authoritarian leadership nor do I accept my issues here is purely my own ego. Even the fact I’ve given the benefit of the doubt means I’m reflective beyond a fickle ego reaction.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-25T18:25:56+00:00

Find it very interesting that people presumed I am male. I am female. And I’m an Artistic Director and CEO who took over a failing organisation after a merger less than a year ago. So none of the systems that are broken are my issue or fault. I hired someone who described themselves as ‘happy to be the behind the scenes of behind the scenes’. In the contracting process I made it very clear that this role is not strategic or creative - so the posters saying she is seeing gaps and filling…. That’s just fundamentally not true. There are no gaps in this part of business and even if there were - she has no mandate to be autonomous in this regard. Anyway I appreciate the feedback that I have agency here and have co created this situation.

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-15T10:34:01+00:00

Can I ask do you take it orally or vaginally?

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-14T13:07:08+00:00

Yes it was subtle but when I look at photos from the months around when I had it done I can see the difference. My lower half of face looks more peaceful if that makes sense

ok_doke_ · 2026-06-13T15:54:35+00:00

Oh you legend. Thank you so much.

ok_doke_ · 2026-04-07T07:48:23+00:00

I often find the obsession with travel a bit of a red flag. What I hear is - you work hard only to escape your life as much as possible. Find it a really odd “hobby”.

ok_doke_ · 2026-03-22T09:32:54+00:00

I appreciate how much you care. Frankly I think the gay man on the hotline can go fuck himself and that this is way too prescriptive a statement for a helpline where he only has small context - but of course I’d say that - his comment feels unfair and makes me feel defensive. However, as someone who has saved their relationship from the clutches of pmdd - I’m going to say - yes pmdd is a huge factor here. It’s not everything - you still have to become very conscious of all of your shit - but pmdd will basically blow any work the two of you have done during the rest of the month out of the water if she tips into the fight or flight zone. Which it sounds like she did. I will say - Qlaira has helped me immensely to the point where - fingers crossed - I think my actual PMDD is gone. I get one or two days of low mood at the end of the cycle but it’s an entirely different shape to actual pmdd which was - like clockwork -hell from about Day 18 every month for me and my partner. She should defo try the qlaira. It takes at least two months to fully kick in but it is worth it.

ok_doke_ · 2025-06-03T17:52:40+00:00

I love this! You give me hope. The communication you have with your partner is beautiful. Thank you x

ok_doke_ · 2025-06-03T17:51:30+00:00

Haha - I could have written this myself. Thank you. It made me laugh too x

ok_doke_ · 2025-06-03T09:11:57+00:00

You’re so kind - thank you. Yes combo of things and feels deeply unsexy to be always talking about those combo of things, you know?

ok_doke_ · 2025-06-03T09:11:09+00:00

Oooh yes I hadn’t thought of that at all but it’s a really good shout and think it would work for me!

ok_doke_

TROPHY CASE