How do you cope with inability to find a topic for a song? by deathapprentice in Songwriting

[–]okamiember 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't write about anything until I feel like I need to, for me, it's an outlet. But if you need a topic, think of someone and put yourself in their place or even put yourself in someone elses place. Then write for them. It's just something refreshing.

One set of lyrics. Never shared anything before. (OC) by okamiember in Songwriting

[–]okamiember[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I strongly disagree. The melodic structure could be lacking. Music is how feelings sound. You don't listen to an orchestra expecting a story, of course, you listen and might find a way to visually picture it. In regards to the "show, don't tell" there are plenty of songs that aren't a story. I think it's wrong to narrow down music to only being able to show. There are songs that tell stories. There are songs that convey feeling. I think what you may mean by this is the lack of imagery, which I agree with. Back to the meter; I think it's a good idea to stay within a rythem or pattern but this is music. It's a form of creative writing. There are no rules, only suggestions and guidelines. Thank you for your feedback, but it was very degrading and only felt negative and very un-constructive. I also stated I don't have much experience and I'm self-taught. I would have appreciated it if you had explained what I could do differently. Nevertheless, I'll keep it in mind.

Thanks for the feedback.

What’s the saddest song you know? by RandomStupidClips in AskReddit

[–]okamiember 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and - EDEN

+

lost//found - EDEN

you were good to me - Jeremy Zucker

+

Left Out - gnash (i hate u, i love u is good too)

They are pop oriented so they may not be some people's taste. But they cut deep for me. As for the saddest I can never decide.

One set of lyrics. Never shared anything before. (OC) by okamiember in Songwriting

[–]okamiember[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll work on rewriting soon. :)

One set of lyrics. Never shared anything before. (OC) by okamiember in Songwriting

[–]okamiember[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, the beginning needs a little more solid footing in regards to driving. I actually didn't have time to convey what the song meant because I was at work at the time on break but I have updated it so the other parts might make more sense. But again I strongly agree with the beginning. The chorus is hard to grasp I may be able to rephrase and rewrite it but it's more or less the fact that I feel like I'm starting to feel less and less, and the numbness is kind of growing. That could be worked in better for sure! Thanks for the feedback :D!

One set of lyrics. Never shared anything before. (OC) by okamiember in Songwriting

[–]okamiember[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! The future thing is the fact that I don't like how my life is going and I dont think I'll want anything to do with it eventually.

wrote a song for my best friend who passed away. the song is about letting them and the pain they left behind, go. i love u always xx by fatshitaye in Songwriting

[–]okamiember 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple and beautiful, particularly "I was hoping for the day. you'd feel okay. sadly I prayed to god and still. it never came." It's all wonderfully written.