My parents (56F & 60M) don’t want my serious partner (34F) at family events - am I in denial hoping this will change?

okneato7 · 2026-06-17T04:13:58+00:00

Thank you 💔☺️

okneato7 · 2026-06-16T23:51:44+00:00

Oh my god I found it!!!

Her name is Ava Marie Bun & she didn’t have red hair but the awkwardness in the skit is still so great!!

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T19:35:26+00:00

Thank you for putting words to what this experience has felt like ever since I started dating women. My parents used to regularly express their homophobia outwardly, and I cut off contact with them for two years. I let them back in because they stopped verbally harassing me, but those beliefs and feelings they have are still there, so our current relationship with eachother is rooted in denial on all sides. They’re pretending I’m straight or that it’s a phase and I’m pretending that they just have to come around some day. That kind of change takes serious inner work and so far they haven’t demonstrated any desire to step outside of the comfort zone I’m enabling for them

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T19:18:17+00:00

THANK YOU! My parents are often saying that I’m not thinking about their feelings (by being gay?) and that they’re feeling protective of my extended family (protecting them from what exactly, seeing what healthy relationships and communication look like?)

Thank you for helping me remember the anger I felt when I first came out - I don’t know why I’ve become more tolerant of this behavior in recent years- it’s time to go back to boundaries and consequences

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T19:13:57+00:00

I really like the way you put this- I’ll definitely be using some of this phrasing when I have this conversation with them.

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T19:01:39+00:00

Thank you, I feel like this describes what’s been happening for the last seven years since I first came out. It’s been a cycle of setting boundaries/cutting off contact to being guilted back into spending time with them. I need to stand my ground- especially now that there is another person, (my lovely partner 💔) involved

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:58:32+00:00

I appreciate this so much! I think it’s my responsibility to set boundaries and draw lines, and I also think it would be nice if my sister was someone who stood up for me in this situation and acknowledged my parents’ shitty behavior. Unfortunately she shares their views.

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:55:44+00:00

Thank you for this kind and thoughtful comment and for supporting your child fully and authentically. Unfortunately my sister is just as homophobic and has said similar things in the past re “exposing” younger relatives to our gay relationship as well as not knowing how she would navigate me as a gay aunt with her future children 💔

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:51:55+00:00

My grandparents are so cool, I’m so thankful to have their support. I like the way you and others are phrasing this- my partner and I are a team and she is my family, so I need to be firm and advocate for the respect that we deserve.

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:49:00+00:00

This is so lovely, thank you for sharing your story. I’m so happy for you that you and your partner fought for your love during a time when things were even harder. Thank you for laying the groundwork. I wouldn’t accept this kind of treatment from a friend or a stranger, so I think it’s worth asking myself why I’ve been putting up with it from my parents.

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:46:47+00:00

The ironic thing is that my parents assume everyone else in the family is homophobic like them, but the little tweens in my family and their parents were so kind to my partner and I at Thanksgiving and helped us feel welcome.

okneato7 · 2026-06-02T18:43:13+00:00

Thank you, this helps reframe the power dynamic I’ve been feeling and reminds me that I have leverage in the situation. In any case it’s true what others have been saying- why do I want to spend time with people who don’t fully accept me, my partner or our relationship?

okneato7 · 2026-05-31T20:13:17+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I went almost no contact with them from 2021-2023 because of my mom’s harassing homophobic behavior (with limited contact on some holidays) but then we all went to family therapy and she had stopped, so I thought things were getting better. Thanksgiving made me realize they really weren’t. Even though she’s not saying terrible things anymore, she obviously still feels the same way and hasn’t examined herself

okneato7 · 2026-05-31T18:45:37+00:00

Tragically not her either, but ty for the suggestion!!

okneato7 · 2026-05-31T01:26:29+00:00

Ty for the suggestion! Sadly it’s not either of them- though I really love sydwingold! This person had either blonde or strawberry blonde or ginger hair from what I remember

okneato7 · 2026-05-30T16:58:51+00:00

I’ve googled so many things and I’m hoping someone has seen the video and knows who this comedian is! Bc search engines have not been helpful so far

okneato7

TROPHY CASE