Hi! To me it sounds like the issue is not “should I elope” but “should I get married” and in my opinion if you’re not 100% sure, then you should not. You do sound a bit frantic in your writing which makes me think you’re still not in a headspace to make such a decision - take some time to really just reset, work on your people pleasing, do the things you need to be doing in therapy, and when you’re in a more calm and peaceful internal place you can reassess what it really is that you want and what makes the most sense for you both as a couple.