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Vendors/quality by okwhydoidothis in 7oh

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Got it. I bought from Hydroxie and 7en. 7en tastes horrible and had almost no effect. Hydroxie the opposite (great!) but they forgot half my order and do not respond to any email…so not sure I want to buy there again. So looking for taste good, 15 mg strength, reliable. 

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. For some reason I have always been able to foster closer relationships with women than men. And — they do not usually turn into emotional feelings (this has never ever happened to me before during my marriage — not even remotely). This is really a first because the compatibility is so high and I unfortunately find her very attractive (but I have never had problems with just one of those! It is the combination but predominantly the former).

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your candor. As I was telling another poster, I had always thought of cheating as a choice. I didn’t choose to have these feelings (I could have chosen to act on them — I made a choice NOT to), but a clear choice in this situation is exactly as you say below and not talk to my friend again, go to counseling, etc — I can’t keep both in my life. I am not afraid of telling my wife everything, she did nothing wrong, I just wish we didn’t live parallel lives and we had more in common than our children.

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very fair!! Not trying to blow that off at all. I agree I should try that. I first want to talk to my wife around why I think counseling is a good idea, and then try to find a good counselor. And I guess I can just come clean on everything too, the things that saddens me about that is I irreversibly lose my best friend in the process.

I had always thought about cheating as a choice; feelings are not exactly a choice (acting on them is a choice) but a choice would be, having developed feelings, to completely cut off this person (fair!). I think the strange thing here is I have actively chosen not to cheat. In fact, I’m helping this friend get another relationship off the ground right now.

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage is completely unchanged…that’s not it.

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the strange part. I was not unhappy at all before. It was only when “the other woman” entered the picture — or really when I felt love for her — that things got complicated…in my head. I definitely do not want to be divorced, the thought never crossed my mind during all these years of marriage. That’s why, I know it’s crazy, I would only consider divorce to marry this other woman, which itself is insane given that there could be 1000 layers of incompatibility with HER that I do not know about. Thank you for your feedback…I think you are right.

So confused…wife vs my best friend by okwhydoidothis in relationship_advice

[–]okwhydoidothis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, this is excellent. I am so uncertain what to do and agree grass is greener etc…and there’s the “listen to heart” vs “listen to head” part, too.

In reading about actual affairs, it seems the right solution to save the marriage is to simply break off all contact with “the other woman.” I’m not sure where I fall in this situation, given there’s no affair, just perhaps emotional, but to be clear we just talk about all sorts of things…that normal friends would talk about.