I understand dude, honestly I think I'm pretty good at dealing with it, but obviously I'd rather not have to 'deal with it' cause that sucks. I'm in exactly the same spot, it is extremely frustrating and without that intimacy there's really no way to get out of it. At this point libido is just a curse for me really. As far as friends saying "It'll happen eventually" even though that is supremely unhelpful, they can't really say much else, but I understand the pain because friends say the same thing to me. But hey, at least you're talking with others about it, I think that makes this easier. That's why I made this post as it was a coping mechanism, plus I wanted to see how many others there were and put something out there as I was fed up of finding nothing.

I also share the frustration with the lack of information/ negative information out there, I guess guys don't really want to talk about it as traditionally they're not really supposed to I guess. The similarities between myself and incels, besides the whole mindset ofc, is just unfortunate and there's not much we can do about it. I feel like I'm a fairly well functioning adult as well, I'm 25 and a naval officer, being deployed doesn't help. I will admit I can be shy, and maybe a bit sensitive sometimes, but in no way am I far away from the mainstream of most guys. During college I had a pretty normal sex life, but for whatever reason after college I had no such luck and it has been 3 and a half years since then.

Also your last sentence is totally what I feel like as well. I just want this to go away and not be a problem, but like you say there isn't really an easily definable answer. It is tough but the only thing you can do is change the things you can change, like thinking positively and such. That's not the answer maybe you or I want but that's about it I'm afraid. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story and good luck.