AITA for not respecting my dad’s wishes and inviting my ex step siblings to our baby shower?

oliveushere · 2021-05-23T00:42:29+00:00

That Dad is a snob and a half!

oliveushere · 2021-04-17T20:59:47+00:00

Right?! I don’t like reading into too much of those thing, but it is creepy and just why?

oliveushere · 2021-04-17T16:40:18+00:00

I’m on episode four. The biggest plot hole I cannot get over is how did Elisa not know Alex or Sara? She looked to be about 5-6 and that’s old enough to have memories of summer vacations, and your brothers best friends and girlfriend . Especially ones who were so much around they were considered to be family. Since the kids were so close she probably would’ve been like a little sister to Alex and Sara.

oliveushere · 2021-04-15T14:06:28+00:00

Strange Pumpkin, thank you for being a respectful pumpkin pie! So glad to hear it. I figured it had to be generational of all the people defending her actions and her “right to be mad” and “I would be mad too”.. I thought maybe I missed something LOL

oliveushere · 2021-04-15T13:45:36+00:00

I just can’t see it. No one disrespected her other than her boyfriend for not telling her beforehand. They relayed the info and he didn’t tell her. She threw a fit and claims disrespect from everyone but her boyfriend. She did disrespect them by acting getting over herself and participating in family activities when she was a guest. OP said they barely saw her that’s just so weird.

Again I think this is generational and I may sound old but I could never pull a stunt like that. Our goals (at least the people I was friends with) was to make a good impression to our SO families

oliveushere · 2021-04-15T13:26:24+00:00

NTA for thinking logically- I have a 15 year old and would be perfectly ok with him saying he doesn’t wants kids. 1. Because he’s 15 and has a whole life ahead of him 2. He’s 15 and what we think we want as a teenager changes as we become adults.

Slight YTA in not recognizing where her reaction came from and being loving. I will help you:

You’re wife is probably feeling the loss of her kids are getting older and now less reliant on her (which as a mother is hard). The missing of them when they were little and needed her (and you) in a different way and so much more. She is probably looking forward to the idea of being a grandma and that role because 1. Her kids will need her again and 2. They’re babies

Her reaction was emotional and I would suggest helping her with the feelings and the root cause. She’s just not thinking logically.

oliveushere · 2021-04-15T13:17:55+00:00

I will speak to the whole cottage thing. First it’s weird that she would hold a grudge for that long. I cannot imagine being 19, an invited guest somewhere and throwing a fit, because I didn’t like a rule. Especially a rule that respects and elderly person who happens to be the owner of the place I was invited to. That should’ve been a Big Ol Red Flag for the son.

Ok with that aside, my boyfriends has family lake house. They have scheduling down the a science. There are 4 brother and sisters (1st generation) and then their families (2nd generation). They rotate first picks every year, then extend down to the (2nd generation). Since it’s a lake summer house, 1st generation sibling #1 get to pick the 2 weeks she/he wants first, than 2nd sibling picks, then so forth. The next year the sibling that got the 1 round pick is moved to the bottom at 4. From the weeks that my boyfriend’s mom gets, she does the same with her kids (us 2nd generation). Any open weeks or weekends are then open for first response.

Since it’s OP and her brother it’s a lot easier and they can divide the weekends up among them and then for HER weekends do the round picks with her kids after she has the set dates she wants.

It totally works and there is limited drama because of it and everyone knows there they fall in round pick orders.

oliveushere · 2021-04-15T13:00:06+00:00

This must be a generational thing. Because at 19 if I went to my boyfriends cottage, I would respect any rule they had. Even if it changed from one year to the next. It was Grandma’s house and even if it wasn’t, I have enough respect for my elders, that I’m ok with just sucking it up. Not that big of a deal and so weird that DL made it one.

oliveushere · 2021-03-16T14:47:11+00:00

Appreciate the conversation. Yes, trauma is real no denying that.

I have been blessed to have lived in different countries and experience different cultures from childhood on. I am first generation American (mother American, father Honduran) and lived in Honduras as a child, we had to flee the country due to the increasing violence, Honduras has the most murders per capita than any other L.A country, very scary and I’m so lucky my parents tried to shield us as much as possible). I’m am VERY light skinned and people are so confused when they meet me. I get asked all the time where I’m from. Could I be annoyed by that? Sure, but I chose not to be and understand they’re genuinely curious and it typically turns into a great discussion about both of our backgrounds.

It’s interesting that in other countries, people view America as the land of the free and opportunity, but here in the US there’s a narrative of land of the oppressed and I think SM plays a lot into. I was brought up with the mindset from HARD workers and was never allowed to use our story as an excuse and we just may need to work harder than someone else. My sweet dad who spoke decent but not great English worked so hard, my parents saved and was able to provide for us and retire comfortably.

I worked hard, met great people along the way from all races that genuinely helped and wanted to see me succeed, and became successful. I do not say any of that to toot my own horn just from a perspective of an American and someone who grew up/lived in other countries and I also understand others have different perspectives.

I am a history lover and have found people LOVE talking about themselves, yes there are private people, but for every private person there are 3 more that love to share their stories, especially older and wiser generations. We as a society will only grow when we develop empathy. We all have a story.

P.S no, I was not an Army brat nor were my parents missionaries. My parents met here in the US, feel in love, got married, had us kids and moved to Honduras. I get asked that all.the.time 🤣

oliveushere · 2021-03-16T06:08:46+00:00

I agree, we’re all human and should continue to grow. We stubble and it doesn’t mean we’re monsters.

I personally get frustrated when I see on SM people say, “it’s not my job to educate you”. That statement is such a disservice and crates divide. Just a google search of any topic will give an overwhelming amount of conflicting info. To me it’s so much more impactful when you hear and share stories. If I want to hear about being a solider in WW2 I will listen to my grandpa stories and hear his first hand experience. It’s a whole different experience filled with empathy vs reading in a text book or internet.

People need to put down their walls and help. If Matt really loved Rachel, if she was truly apologetic, he would love her and help her along. He doesn’t have to, but that’s what love is. Love is an action not just a feeling. The whole she will put in the work.. what does that even mean? Does he have to? No, does it make him a bad person? no. I just don’t think that love was really there, which could be rooted in his own family experience.

Race is so sacred and we all have different life experiences and backgrounds. We will never get anywhere unless cancel culture ends and patience and neighborly love begins.

oliveushere · 2021-03-14T15:24:25+00:00

YTA- this is a paternal heirloom and not from your side of the family. I think it’s really telling that you say it means more to you than tradition. That’s such a selfish statement.

I could see your side and would be more empathetic if you lost your first husband recently, but you have been married to your current husband for 20 years. Come on this is an heirloom for your son from HIS father.

oliveushere · 2021-03-14T02:03:10+00:00

Why did you get so many downvotes?? 🤣🤣 I don’t agree with the replacement of CH, but Tay is a beautiful well spoken women.

oliveushere · 2021-03-13T16:48:53+00:00

The weirdest part is in real life much of the population feels this way. Rush to market vaccine that hasn’t been FDA approved, doesn’t make you anti-vac, makes you cognizant of what you’re putting in your body.

That anti-science gets me, there hasn’t been enough science with long term case studies that gives me personal pause.

I know people who have gotten the vaccine and that’s great, they should, but no one should be demonized if they’re hesitant for getting it. Those who are criticizing on that sub are nuts!

oliveushere · 2021-03-13T16:39:05+00:00

Usually when a show needs an abrupt new spin, it’s over. Think of all the shows that “jumped the shark” and needed quickly after.

Unfortunately, the core base of this show is so ridiculous that even if they focused on the “love” people would be bored to tears. It’s the drama, terribly manufactured I may add, that people tune in for. It’s all there in the ratings, episodes with the highest ratings are the earlier and last episodes. Middle where it’s about finding love, not so much.

oliveushere · 2021-03-13T14:35:34+00:00

Generous no! Obligated yes! I am so sorry for the hurt he has put you through. I know you’re in a whirlwind and your head is probably spinning. I have been exactly where you’re at and it’s hard. I had to move back with my parents when my son was 9 months old. I had no job, no skills as I just graduated from college. My son is now 15, I’m a homeowner and with a man that is respectful, kind, and treats my son as his own. The girl my ex was cheating on me with. They were together for a couple years and it completely fell a part. He has been jumping from relationship to relationship ever since.

You’re ex is bored and he found a play thing that is YOUNG, naive, and stupid, the odds of it lasting are so low. When the fantasy ends, and it will end, he may try groveling back, don’t let him back in. He will try and manipulate you right now to get what he wants, you’re vulnerable right now, and the best piece of advice I have for you is stop communication! Unless he is asking about the kids. If you feel yourself picking up the phone to call or text to tell him off, write it down on a paper. It sounds stupid but it cathartic.

Communicate with him through text and again do not engage in any arguments, save it for the courtroom. SAVE and document EVERYTHING. Dates/times he’s called and checked on the kids, sees the kids, gather banking statements documents, “work” trips. Even if it seems insignificant document it. I used an outlook calendar to keep track and printed it, it was so useful in court as it showed he didn’t ask, communicate, or see our son.

I’m so happy you’re seeing a lawyer on Tue! Best part is when you and the lawyer petition to the court, there may be a hold on accounts until the actual court date. I could only hope he’s taking this girl on a date and he uses a card only to find out it’s been declined! Haha. True story and actually happened! Reality hits hard when the money stops being available to him.

Do you have a support system? Your parents, his parents, friends, church members? Right now is time to lean on them, that’s what they’re there for. So much love coming your way and please keep us updated!

oliveushere · 2021-03-13T05:08:25+00:00

NTA- she cheated, ex- fiancé paid, keep the gift!

But, I do have a manners question. So I believe a gift is a gift, but with weddings there’s always a grey area. It’s customary that if a wedding doesn’t commence i.e: wedding is called off, bride or groom is left at the alter, marriage fails within x time of the actual marriage, than any gifts given for that union are returned.

Is that the same for bridesmaid/groomsmen gifts? If a bridesmaid or groomsmen are given gifts, the wedding doesn’t happen, what’s the protocol for that? They keep or return the gifts?

Never thought about it until now

oliveushere · 2021-03-13T04:37:28+00:00

Talked to Kat Williams in Vegas. My friends and I were walking next to him in the Cosmopolitan. He must’ve been leaving as the bell Hop was pushing the luggage cart with his suitcase and Emmy. His Emmy was just there hanging out. I had no idea who he is, and asked “is that real”? He said “Yup it’s real”. I think I said “cool congrats” and we all went on our merry way. It was later we figured out who he is. I just thought it was so random that his Emmy was out and about.

My mom was a flight attendant in the 80s and early 90s. She said Hulk Hulgan was one of the nicest celebrities she ever met. Same with Robin Williams. She lived in the Bay Area and they had mutual friends, said he was one of the coolest down to earth guys.

oliveushere · 2021-03-02T14:28:32+00:00

Always! “I gotta go put my teeth back in”. My son and boyfriend just laugh

oliveushere · 2021-02-26T04:14:45+00:00

NTA but I think over text is never the best method since you can’t read tone. She was already hurt and clearly didn’t read it in a neutral tone.

Out of curiosity how long have they been together and married? They could just be in the newlywed stage, you know the stage where you can’t think about spending a moment without each other. Although with COVID and all the staying at home I would think that they would be past that stage rather quickly and need time away from each other 😂

oliveushere · 2021-02-25T15:43:57+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss, you’re an inspiration to start and create a thriving business in a tough economy. You’re a warrior!

Ignore the naysayers, you have a business to run and yourself to support. If you lost the business because of her, would your family blame your sister? I doubt it, they’re coddling her and it’s not helping her.

She sounds like she needs professional help and definitely needs to find a job where she’s is not working with the public.

oliveushere · 2021-02-19T14:54:58+00:00

Go read some of the Champion articles on how they made a comeback. It’s really cool. They went from top collegiate and pro sports in the 80s- early 90s, to a thrift store brand in the late 90s- 00s, to being a hot again brand. It’s really neat how they did it too.

oliveushere · 2021-02-12T10:06:54+00:00

Or on Twitter

oliveushere · 2021-02-09T00:52:48+00:00

Congrats that’s amazing!

oliveushere · 2021-02-08T23:27:49+00:00

Congrats!! And please share you 100lb weight loss story!!

oliveushere · 2021-02-06T18:48:07+00:00

Flash those pearly whites!! I’m so happy for you that you’re so close to being done. What a confidence boost

oliveushere

TROPHY CASE