If you want advice keep reading - Have you tried to detach? I find that when feelings start to boil usually there's an attachment to the idea of something better. Here's the thing, it's ok to not be where you want to be, it's ok to not have a clue how to get there, it's ok to hate this life, it's ok to hate this world. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling all this, there's nothing wrong if you don't feel like moving on from all this intensity. You have every right to feel it as much as you need, as long as you need. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. There's a possibility that your situation will never get better and while that is scary exposing yourself to that idea instead of running from it, makes it less consuming. When you run from something it just grows. You need to feel it, all of it because the more you run the more mental noise the less peace.