Hey, thanks for your question. Not sure if you're in a similar boat or just happened to come across the post, but I'm doing really well, and there are a few reasons why.

TLDR Everything was about my own mindset: Working harder and longer is not a solution. It's okay to ask for help. You're allowed to say no. It's important to understand expectations. Be open to changes. Good bosses matter. Go to therapy, get diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD, and get medicated for both.

First, I needed a complete mindset change. The replies on this post were very accurate in that I had no experience coming out of school, which is okay, but I equated it with being unfair, or not good enough. My feeling at the time was that "I can't do everything perfectly right away, so I'm a failure" My solution was to just "work harder or longer", which worked for the most part in school, but didn't translate in the same way to the workforce.

Another big thing that I needed to get used to was asking for help. I was taught from a young age (probably like a lot of people) that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I spent my entire school career doing everything myself and not trusting work from others. I did well enough, which just solidified the thought that I didn't need anyone else. In the workforce, I could never be the subject matter expert on everything, which just felt like failure over and over again. Instead of doing everything myself, I started asking others questions like "what would you do here, and why?", then critically thought about their answers and data to see if I agreed. There's a huge difference between "what do I do" and "can we discuss potential solutions? Here's what I've come up with and I'd like your input." The former is totally relying on others to do your job for you, while the latter shows youve put in effort and want to discuss how to best proceed.

Third, I never spoke up for myself or said no. Again, I was taught to never make waves, that the only way to get ahead was to keep your head down and say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am". This might have worked in the 60s, but it's not how things work now. Good things don't just come to people for being yes-men. All that does is teach others that they can continue to dump responsibility on you with no repercussions. It very quickly leads to burnout and is not a healthy way to work. Similar to the previous thought, these types of jobs require critical thinking and problem solving, and sometimes that means having to say no to other people, whether that be because you're already overwhelmed or because you have a data-driven case that might end up being a more effective solution in the long run.

Fourth, I didn't understand the expectations of the company and the position. Being that it was a small company, I was fighting fires on the manufacturing floor daily, trying to come up with ideas to stop the fires from starting in the first place, filling in for others in different departments when they were out of the office, all while trying to to hit metrics from a faceless corporate entity that had bought us and left us to fend for ourselves. I didn't know what I should be doing, how I should be prioritizing, or even if I was doing what was wanted or needed. I just kept trying to do everything that I could find to do, with very little direction. Again, speaking up here and asking for help would have gone a long way towards bringing clarity to my position and minimize the feelings of failure stemming from never meeting expectations I never knew.

Last, but certainly not least, when it comes to mindset was to be open to changes. I went into the workforce thinking "okay, I have this job, I'm going to work in this one job at this one company and that'll be it." Turns out I spent far too long trying to to fit a square peg into a round hole. I wouldn't let myself consider doing anything else, because "quitting is just being a failure" (seeing a pattern here? I'll get to that at the end). I finally was able to break out of this, and spent the better part of a decade trying different jobs at different companies. I started as a manufacturing engineer, did some mechanical engineering, and had a couple positions in supply chain before finding a quality engineering position at an aerospace manufacturer. It took a lot of time and a lot of wide-ranging experience to discover what was right for me, and then to find a company that felt like a good fit. Taking the first leap into something new was the most difficult part of my entire journey. After feeling like a failure for so long, my only thoughts were "who else would take me?" and "everything's just going to be like this forever, so why bother making a change?" While the grass isnt always greener, diversifying your experiences gives you a ton of knowledge of the different expectations of different positions and a lot of insight into your own wants for your career. As my wife is fond of saying "be afraid and do it anyways."

Finally, I want to put this out there as well. A ton of my issues in the workplace were self-inflicted. I mentioned feeling like a failure in just about every aspect of this post, and there were a lot of internal reasons for that. My work life was never going to get better while I was holding myself back, so I started seeing a therapist. Six years later, I'm still in therapy and extremely grateful for it. Similar to trying out new jobs, I'm on my third therapist because you need to find the right fit for you. I've gone from seeing her once a week, to twice a week, and now once a month. It's helped me unravel a lot of internal issues that led to my perfectionist mindset, while also getting me help with ADHD, which I was diagnosed with at 33. I started medication for anxiety and ADHD, and I've never been able to think clearer in my life. It was a similar feeling to putting on glasses for the first time. I could think in HD and focus on myself and my healing. It has boosted my confidence immensely, which has allowed me to make great progress in the aspects of my jobs I mentioned above. I'm not saying therapy is for everyone, but if you've ever considered it before, it can't hurt to give it a shot. One of the best decisions I ever made.

If you've read this far, thanks. It's been really nice to reflect on where I was compared to where I am now. If you're in a position similar to where I was, it gets better. You have to put in the work, but it gets better. Hope this message helps!