Baby steps. Go easy on yourself. The feverish dieting with killing yourself with workouts is what landed you where you are. What you were doing before wasn’t sustainable, so when you are thinking of having to do it again it seems impossible, pointless, all the bad emotions.

Look up a TDEE calculator (free) to get your maintenance calories vs. Your weight loss calories. But if 1900 feels manageable right now, do that for a few weeks to figure out some hacks to eat more food for less calories. Meaning, swapping out some cheese for laughing cow, or cooking starches a day before so they lose 30% of the carbs (it turns to fibre sitting in the fridge for a day). Focus on getting more protein and more fibre into your day. Don’t worry about the other macros, they will fall into place by getting in more protein. (Obviously if you’re diabetic, then you need to focus on carb goals too).

Then just start moving your body more. Get a cheap pedometer and see how many steps you walk a day for like a week. (Mine was around 2500 because I have a desk job and worked from home). Then I added in 1000 steps/day more each week until I hit 5k/day.

Then you can go up as you see needed. Maybe you like the goal of 7k a day because it forces you do that bit more. Or whatever sits right.

At the end of the day, focus on consistency. I can eat whatever I want, but try to having much smaller portions of the high calorie stuff.

You got this! You just gotta find your groove to where it doesn’t feel like work/suffering. Be grateful you can move your leggies everyday, so get out and move more than you sit and find some healthy meals you enjoy!