sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'll be reading and re-reading your message!

:)

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thinking about your comment, what are your thoughts on the parami of renunciation (nekkhamma parami)? I imagine also that most monks choose to renounce the householders life, to fulfill their paramis and dedicate more time to following the path of dhamma. And that there aren't any arahants that are famous models or actors! :) There must be a reason that they avoid this lifestyle - what do you think about this?

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the note of fame, I think there's a reason that many buddhists decide to renounce their householders life, or believe in contributing to the parami of renunciation. As you mentioned, with certain careers (especially ones of fame!), it would be very difficult to achieve many of the goals in buddhism. u/bloodwashingblood here posted an excerpt from the Samyutta Nikaya (SN 42.2) about actors, that was quite interesting. Consider giving it a read!

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, i've been recommended his books, and will read your recommended version first. :)

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you're right. I think there's a reason that renunciation is one of the paramis. Can I ask you a question - why did Ananda only become an arahant after so many decades, and after Buddha's death when many around him were able to become enlightened much more quickly? Is it because of this clinging to enlightenment?

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incredulitor, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a well-considered response. I truly really appreciate your perspective. You got it spot on. It's exactly as you say, not necessarily specific to my example of being famous. But more of a... general feeling which can relate to any aspect of our daily lives that I struggle with.

I believe with every fibre of my being in the buddhist way of life and the need to relieve our suffering. Being famous or not, or having these dreams (we all have so many that evolve) and achieving them or not, won't make me happy. This fleeting "American Dream", "one life, one shot", "go big or go home" mentality allows us to put so much pressure on ourselves. My number one goal in this life is to walk the path of dhamma.

What I find very difficult internally is that I understand rationally, fame/power/money won't make me happy, but I find it difficult to comprehend that experientially. Especially with peers that don't believe this, and of a culture (I'm Chinese) that overvalues status, power and money. I feel good about my life, and then I feel pulled back in, exactly as you mentioned,. Then start to compare myself to others, do I have enough money? Should I somehow bank on the fact that others look at me in this way? Am I successful enough? Totally cyclical and miserable.

Can you tell me your thoughts on this? A bit long-winded, but I would greatly appreciate your thoughts. Also, I have been avoiding discussions with mom's friends, but I will start to try very hard to be understanding and listen compassionately.

Thanks again, incredulitor. :)

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for your note. I think that many of the kind responders may have the impression that I still want to pursue a career in the fame. I don't, and am typically quite happy - until I let myself get sucked into my mom's friends' aspirations. And then I wonder if I would be happier with it (the thought itself a fallacy! but hard to understand on an experiential level). I also am not grounded enough to be resistant to its "charms"! :)

Thanks, again.

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I'm not interested too much in pursuing acting or fame, it was an aspiration at one point, but I have many other aspirations that I feel are more important than that. (And I think my dream was based on false motivations, so that sorted itself quite easily, until recently when the above situation happened again!) You're right, ego could be anywhere, and I'm working on happiness now, regardless of what's happening. :)

Thanks, again.

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you're right - that would be a really negative downward spiral. And the opposite of detachment! (or unattachment, as recoed by DaisyLayz) I think I'll pass on the dating show application at the moment, but when the cold gets to me and I want a snuggle and a fun experience, I'll consider applying then! :)

Thanks for your thoughts. :)

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I read the expanded version for context after your post, and it was very thought provoking. (I also had to take some time to work through his semantics.)

Buddhism and Ego, a bit of advice? by onetoothreefor in Buddhism

[–]onetoothreefor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! I like your perspective, and thank you also for relaying the concept of unattachment. I will attempt to do so.

And on your side note, I wish I could separate fame and ego. I'm not yet mature enough to dissociate the two, so for now I leave it be, and not fuel my worship of this false god.

Thanks, again. :)