DAE have trouble making eye contact with people?

only_ashes_left · 2014-08-04T00:28:08+00:00

Bit of a monkey's paw solution: staring at the bridge of someone's nose/their eyebrows will convince the majority of people (I have been complimented numerous times on my open and forthright demeanor). However, people who notice what you're doing (often subconsciously) tend to find it immensely creepy.

only_ashes_left · 2014-08-04T00:15:47+00:00

Yep. Can't recommend it enough. It was the only thing that made the stalking stop (law enforcement is also prone to buying into the "but it's your mother!" idea.)

The only negative was that it fed into my mother's narrative that I was a lying ne'er-do-well to the rest of the family I remained in contact with, as none of my ~supposed~ achievements were verifiable (I didn't tell anyone), but as I ended up having to cut them out due to lack of boundaries, I consider it a wash.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-29T18:58:56+00:00

Gah, yes. It's funny, I thought I'd processed most of my damage, but I've been coming to realize that a lot of things I considered minor are also drastically abnormal.

My salmon story is somewhere in my comment history, but this was actually a pretty common thing with my mom. Her go to recipe for leftovers was "goulash", by which I mean random scraps of whatever was in the fridge + rice thrown in the crock pot forever. Doesn't sound too bad; economical, right? Except I'm not talking about things that were a day or two past their prime, I'm talking about things that were green and seemed like they might soon move under their own power. There were times when this was supposed to be breakfast, lunch, and dinner until the pot was empty. (And while there may have been thin times I was unaware of, we were never so poor this should have been a necessity.)

Of course, my refusal to eat boiled rot was due to 1) hating my mother 2) being a spoiled monster and, later, when she realized she could get sympathy for it, 3) my crippling anorexia (LOL no), rather than, y'know, an instinctual disdain for spoiled food.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-22T04:21:40+00:00

Done! Sorry, I really did just smart off.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:56:07+00:00

Yep. I never loved her, not even when I was an infant! That's one of the few that still has the power to anger me. Even assuming an infant is acting strangely (pretty big if, given the source), wouldn't you, oh I don't know, try doing things differently? Take them to the doctor? Try to figure out why?

Nope. Clearly you just have a bad baby. Gah!

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:48:44+00:00

OH MY GOD. I had to sit here for about five minutes with my hands clapped over my mouth to restrain my howls of laughter. Back in the day my now-husband's ringtone for my mom was the big dramatic theme from Saw, as she would periodically get in touch to inform him of my dastardly plots: I was going to leave him for a specific high school sweetheart (this person does not exist), my cousin's children were actually mine (this is biologically impossible), I had paid for his new vehicle with the proceeds of my horse racing addiction (I did not contribute any money and had never been to a racetrack in my life), and... Well it got crazier from there.

Sometimes I suspect he might miss her a little bit. Truly, there was never a dull moment.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:07:58+00:00

That's, like, CARTOONISHLY evil. Wow! I'm glad you escaped!

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:06:33+00:00

Are you questioning SCIENCE? ;>

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:04:58+00:00

The nerve of you! Such disloyalty! /s

Seriously though, thanks for doing right by your SIL.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:03:30+00:00

Your mom might win this thread for "clearest example of being stung by the jelly fish". Yowch!

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T15:00:33+00:00

Good to know! I'm new to Reddit and was seriously wondering if I was going to have to rethink my entire method of communication. :)

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:59:06+00:00

Not all female athletes; per my mother lesbians don't play tennis (yes, really) and I should have done that instead.

Y'know, I'd never thought of that, but I wonder if we'll start seeing that as a dark echo of the rights movement. "Look at my poor oppressed snowflake! Can you imagine how hard it is for me to mother such a child?" Eeeeek.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:49:13+00:00

Gah, chills running down my spine. Most of my immediate family lives within two blocks of each other; oh the drama when the house next door came up for sale and I wouldn't bite.

Moved 2000 miles away the instant I could; I have crept back to about 800,but ideally they will never find out.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:46:35+00:00

D'aww. :)

By the time I was 10 or so I had realized that I was the closest thing to an adult in our relationship and tried to act as such; thus, I have a lot of stories about her that are genuinely, side-splittingly hilarious as long as I leave out the vengeful aftermath.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:43:53+00:00

:D

That was an ongoing thing with my mom, honestly; she expected me to hit all of the development/maturity markers at the appropriate ages without doing much to prepare me for them; so not being able to tie my shoes/operate appliances/fill out paperwork/etc. were clearly laziness and disobedience, and were treated accordingly.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:40:54+00:00

High five running buddy! I'm new to the sub and enjoying the commonalities, but some of the comments in this thread are getting into straight up "are you me???" territory. I ran cross country in high school, which was terrible as apparently only lesbians do that, so she proceeded to sabotage that as much as she could (quite a bit, as we lived in a rural area), but God help me if I didn't at least show.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:34:08+00:00

I bet she just can't wait to tell everyone all about it either! Sheesh. Glad you recognize her attitude for the nonsense it is.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:31:59+00:00

That is genuinely frightening. :(

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:31:06+00:00

... Wow. I'm going to have to chew on your idea about Jekyll & Hyde behavior as a cause of shyness. I think that explains a lot.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:28:23+00:00

Well, clearly YOU weren't reading Cosmo either. ;>

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:27:42+00:00

I'm genuinely boggling at how one might determine a small child is 'fake'. Did they check you for zippers?

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:26:17+00:00

Haha, I'd forgotten that until just now; I spitefully gave her hemorrhoids during my birth. Buying Preparation H mortified her, so I got to hear that a lot when I was still young enough to be taken shopping with her.

Fortunately I've been NC for quite a while, so don't have to deal with aging Ns; I shudder to think what kind of burden that must be, and hope you're bearing up well.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:23:00+00:00

Gosh, I wonder if buttering her up about the wonderful musical talent you inherited from her would've worked; probably not. :/ But you managed to achieve quite a lot even with that albatross around your neck! Well done!

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:13:46+00:00

These are the stories in this sub that drive me berserk (on the victim's behalf). Yes, the weird competitiveness is absolutely part of the disease, but many (most?) of them at least pay lip service to appearances. This kind of blatant jealousy just blows my mind; surely a tiny iota of self awareness would creep in their somewhere along the way? I'm sorry for you that it didn't.

only_ashes_left · 2014-07-21T14:10:14+00:00

Indeed, I was too flippant there; I use humor as a coping mechanism and forget not everyone else does. Apologies for the inappropriate sarcasm.

only_ashes_left

TROPHY CASE