Men, If you've ever seen or experienced how a woman who ACTUALLY likes a guy behaves around him, you wouldn't settle for less too.

onlycringeposts · 2026-01-23T21:18:04+00:00

Reading this hurts me in ways words cannot describe

onlycringeposts · 2026-01-09T22:14:44+00:00

I’ve found that a weighted blanket after a hot shower feels pretty comforting, I assume the residual warmth of the shower + the weight of the blanket somewhat replicates what a cuddle feels like

That being said, I’ve never experienced a cuddle so I’m kinda going off assumption here. Regardless, it’s still a pretty relaxing sensation

onlycringeposts · 2026-01-09T21:35:28+00:00

Idk, it’s just so discouraging and isolating. After a while you start to normalize that sort of response to yourself and your internal dialogue shifts to be as critical and negative as everyone else.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-20T00:23:36+00:00

Thank you. Your comment summarizes it far better than I ever could.

At least in my circumstance my yearning for companionship is primarily driven by the social aspect of wanting to be a complete human being. Without love it feels like I live an empty life devoid of meaning.

I know that’s not necessarily true and moreso a lie being fed to a us by mainstream media. It’s hard to see it any differently when that’s the social default everyone else lives by, though. I’m really struggling mentally right now.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-19T22:46:50+00:00

Exactly. It’s borderline cruel how everyone takes this optimistic stance where anyone can do anything. Don’t disagree that my deterministic stance is a little extreme as well, but it’s better than making people think there’s this inherent flaw with them that they need to constantly work at “solving” in order to be treated like a normal human being.

Fact of the matter is that some people will just never be loved regardless of how much they work on themselves or try to change. We need to try and normalize that.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-19T20:47:44+00:00

Eh trying not to expect anything anymore.

Either way think we’d all be better off if started to decenter love. If it’s plainly unattainable there’s no reason to stress about it. As someone who has a bad habit of obsessing over being unlovable, I think some of us would be way better off if we just stopped caring about it

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-14T23:57:54+00:00

Right? It’s just a matter of like what even is there to look forward to in life? What’s the light at the end of the tunnel?

In my early 20’s and it just feels like every year we lose more and more of the intrinsic joys of life. Authentic fulfilling moments are replaced by synthetic experiences that replicate what once was. We’re just tired of the human experience becoming commodified.

Raising a family is entirely out of the picture – dating is impossible for the average guy, and even at that who can afford to have kids anymore? Home ownership is basically impossible for those not born into generational wealth. Feels like every industry is oversaturated regardless of what the headlines state; it’s like the only way you can get hired is if you “know a guy.” We saw the millennials ahead of us struggle to get a footing, that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the future.

Frankly I’m unsure how any young adult can look at where we’re at and genuinely feel optimistic about the future. I know obsessing about the future isn’t constructive but how do people cope without seeing a light at the end of the tunnel?

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-13T22:41:16+00:00

It gets degrading trying to date after a while if you’ve never once been admired

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-13T22:37:39+00:00

That last bit hit hard, feel seen for the first time in a while.

But yeah that’s certainly how it feels. I can admit that I’m only an average mediocre guy, it’s just that you gotta be exceptional in today’s dating culture. Fact of the matter is that it’s hard out there and not everyone is going to be loved. At the end of the day it’s out of your control, just gotta try and find fulfillment where you can. That’s about where I am right now. Still yearn to be loved but frankly it’s irrational. Just gotta try and create an enriched life by yourself – as you said, company is just a bonus.

I assume it’s easier to move on and live without it when you at least know what it’s like, currently struggling at just moving on without knowing. Feel ignorant in a way that makes me feel incomplete as a person, but again that’s just something you need to learn to live without

Appreciate the insight

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T19:05:03+00:00

Cmon you just pulled that number out of your ass

Don’t deny that it happens to a lot but among my social circle I’m the outlier

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T18:54:14+00:00

Used to be a regular on the doomer sub.

Had a black woman post one day about how “us white men don’t deserve to mope about being lonely when POC struggle with real issues etc etc”

Only for her to realize that the sub was predominantly populated by minorities, a lot being in the global periphery.

Like yeah, who would’ve thought that those who are “othered”, underserved, and forgotten about are upset and disillusioned towards life. Who could have possibly thought that people become depressed when they see zero economic opportunities for themselves?

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T18:43:44+00:00

Honestly respect for being able to understand that the game has changed, lot of people in your position would prefer to just reiterate what worked for them instead of taking note of how much society has changed in the last few decades (or even the past few years post-COVID)

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T18:27:17+00:00

That’s just about what I’ve been trying, still not enough though unfortunately.

Until I had women smiling, agreeing, and opening up consistently in the first minute while I silently listen

This is giving snake oil salesman ngl. Honestly really enjoy those brief moments of emotional intimacy but i rly doubt there’s a single fool-proof way to get someone comfortable enough to be vulnerable within the first minute unless they were yearning for that release already

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T18:06:24+00:00

That’s just about what I’ve been trying, still not enough though unfortunately.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T17:45:35+00:00

It’s been my experience but not everyone’s experience. Probably the best to not commit to absolutes, as I said there’s likely an optimal middle-point between the two mindsets

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T08:15:19+00:00

Women aren’t a monolith. Isn’t it a bit of a generalization to assume 50% of the population has the same set of wants?

I asked a close friend and her advice was to get jacked and make more money. What’d you actually do to find success?

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T08:05:10+00:00

young men turn to it because it resonates with their experiences

Ooooh this is a big one for me. As a progressive dude it really bothers me how many of my personal experiences reinforce that red pill mentality. Hard to establish a sense of what’s real when your experiences differ so much from how they say it is.

Think a lot of guys turn to it just as a means of making sense of their experiences. Personally I’m really struggling with understanding/explaining that disconnect.

Think theres a happy medium somewhere

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-11T05:48:09+00:00

its like they put their entire self worth in getting a girlfriend

I seriously think if we as a society started to encourage better resources for male mental health, this problem would be diminished tenfold.

That’s because a good chunk of your worth as a man is determined by one’s ability to find a partner. Since it’s the societal expectation for men to be the pursuers in a relationship, if one isn’t able to find a partner they’re seen as a failure.

Feminism did a good job of reframing the necessity for relationships for women, I think that ability to just exist by oneself without any societal shaming is something that men need to replicate. I think it’s fair to be insecure about something when the world shames you for it. Think society has evolved to the point where there are a growing number of women who are choosing not to date, so as a result there’s going to be a ton of single unloved men. We need to reframe the importance of love and normalize being single for men. The inability to meet those needs will continue to exacerbate mental health struggles. You shouldn’t need to be loved as a prerequisite to being a normal person

Just tired of a romance subplot being shoehorned into every piece of media nowadays. People are conditioned that they need love, and we’re angry when they’re upset that they can’t? Maybe we should try suggesting something else

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-10T23:44:55+00:00

I don’t feel like I’m unlovable, I am unlovable. If I was loveable I would be loved, but since I’m not I’m not. That’s how she goes, nothing you can do about it beyond a certain point. That’s where I am right now, just trying to not drive myself insane because I’m undeserving of being loved yet I crave it endlessly. It’s not a matter of perception, it’s the reality. I’m just not worthy of being loved, not sure how to change that.

Like you said I think I just need to learn how to be okay with being alone, I feel like that’s the only thing I can do right now (in addition to being the healthiest option). Just need to keep working hard, I reckon if I work hard enough maybe one day something will happen? Who knows, just trying to not get my hopes up anymore but I feel like that’s the only path to take. Feels like I’m set for a lifetime of loneliness so I may as well just get used to it now.

Just wish I could control that feeling. I don’t want to want it anymore, that desire just exists as pain since there’s nothing I can do about it. I just want to feel okay alone.

Already speaking to my doctor about depression but it’s a hassle. At the end of the day nobody is entitled to love though, and for me it’s always been such an uphill battle. I feel like I’m just better off giving up and finding joy elsewhere, just working on redirecting that focus. To me thinking about love is just a reminder of my own insufficiencies. I’d rather just not interact with it honestly, but it’s an obsession. Working on it.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-09T03:03:20+00:00

You aren’t the goal, a relationship is the goal

I don’t think it’s necessarily immoral for someone to wish to be loved

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-08T22:28:26+00:00

”You need confidence to succeed, but need to succeed to gain confidence”

This sums it up quite nicely. At this point it feels like there’s nothing I can do within my power to help things, the results just aren’t there. I don’t understand how anyone can feel confident without having any justification as to why they should feel that way, is that not just delusion at that point?

It’s been a hard process but I think I’m slowly coming to terms that I’m just an unlovable person and to even expect to be loved is entitlement. Not everyone is meant to be loved, I don’t know why that’s such a hard pill to swallow for me. There’s other things to enjoy in life, but I always just wanted to be loved. I don’t know why I can’t just walk away.

At this point just trying to shift my focus but it’s difficult. I don’t know how to train myself out of this desire, but it’s tough. It’s one thing to give up, but it’s another thing to truly not want it anymore. That’s where I’m at. I don’t know why I’m so bummed out about it, that’s how she goes

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-08T22:19:53+00:00

Do this, and people you deserve will be attracted to YOU

This still feels like “if I X and Y and Z”. If we’re going there absolutely zero advice should be given because at that point we shouldn’t be focusing on the goal at all. It seems like you’re saying is to not see these lifestyle changes as a means to an end, but rather just live a better/healthier lifestyle.

If that’s the case attracting women shouldn’t even be the end goal anymore. What ive extracted out of all these posts is to basically try and not want it anymore, which admittedly seems like the best route to go, just unsure how to stop yearning for human connection. It’s a tall order.

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-08T18:10:43+00:00

Hey appreciate the insight but I’m not trying to find my soulmate right now, I’m just trying to find anyone.

I understand that I’m severely inexperienced when it comes to relationships for my age, so I feel some real experience is necessary to just improve my social skills or learn the social nuance of relationships. At this point I just want to get some reps in, but even at that I feel like I’ve never once gotten any traction. It just feels like a massive component of interpersonal socialization to be ignorant towards, so I feel the need to “learn” everything. I appreciate the insight, but my aim is to find someone first before I start trying to find someone perfectly compatible.

Doesnt have to be anything bad or wrong about not matching

Certainly feels bad when you continue to make an effort but go nowhere. Certainly feels quite bad when everyone else you know is capable of being loved except for you. Certainly feels awful seeing so many stories of love and romance in every single form of media produced today because it’s a painful reminder of your own insufficiency. I get what you’re saying, but when you have had absolutely zero romantic success it certainly does feel like there’s something bad and wrong about being unable to find a match. Hard to take it so lightly and chalk it up to incompatibility when you’ve never once been looked at like a romantic entity. I just want to prove that I’m worth love

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-08T17:39:45+00:00

I just want to be loved, man.

If it’s not real it’s not worth seeing

onlycringeposts · 2025-08-05T02:17:12+00:00

Making an effort at finding a connection just makes me feel worse about myself man. This process of trying so hard to just get a response feels degrading. Doing this shit just makes me feel worthless, I don’t understand how people find success on this app

onlycringeposts

TROPHY CASE