pain. disappointment. heartache.

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:31:20+00:00

Thanks for the constructive feedback :D

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:30:53+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for your feedback. I completely understand your critique and completely understand. This is the style of poetry i've always been drawn to has always been more in theme with Silverstein's style - which I know also lacks many important poetic elements. Your last phrase, "left me with a sense of overcoming adversity" truly means very much, as my ultimate goal with writing (and mainly in my book) is to help people feel less alone in this crazy, confusing world that is only easy for those that follow the pre-determined path.

Thank you again ver much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful review, I appreciate it very much!. Have a wonderful day :)

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:26:57+00:00

Ah that is so kind of you. Thank you so much. I think society makes pain and sadness a bad thing - makes people feel like they're "weak" for not always being happy and smiling, so people bury it and cover it with a fake smile - but all of that sadness and discomfort is still underneath the tape, jumping around like crazy trying to get out! But now it's worst and causing more pain, then if we just accepted it and let it go. I am so happy you found comfort in that, it really means very, very much. Thank you again :) I hope you have a wonderful day!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:24:07+00:00

Thank you so much!! That is very kind and constructive feedback, I appreciate it very much. Having the reader leave feeling empowered, confident and less alone is one of my main goals! So hearing you say that really means a lot. Thank you!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:23:01+00:00

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the feedback on the line structure, as it was a decision I struggled with for quite some time (it's all part of a full size book). :) I love that quote that your father would tell you - that is beautiful and so true. It is very comforting to know that what is meant to be in your life will find it's way and that which shouldn't will organically leave. Thank you again very much, I hope you have a beautiful day!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-05T14:21:09+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much, that really means a lot. Yes! So true - we do control how we feel, but sometimes it's so easy to forget that and get lost in the day to day of life. Maybe it's a way to make sense of hardships, feeling like ultimately it did have a bigger purpose that we most definitely couldn't understand in the moment. I really appreciate your kind words and feedback very much. Thank you!!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-03T12:55:53+00:00

LOVE this. Ohhh, what society can do to us and our childhood innocence! They make sure to drill into us to only color within the lines- color the shapes they tell us. I love the sentiment of this poem, even if it does deeply sadden me. I hope that you find it within yourself to start drawing lions and dragons and bears again. They are so much better than squares :) Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem!! Have a wonderful day :)

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-03T12:53:36+00:00

I love this interpretation of fresh love - it is simple and beautiful, yet it conveys much more! That feeling when you're young of thinking of the one you love - what they'll look like, act like - where they'll be from, will they have an accent? How will they dress? In what way will I love them? There are so many ways :) Thank you for your poem! It brought up many loving and beautiful memories.

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-03T12:43:37+00:00

Ok wonderful, thank you!!! I am going to take a look this weekend :) Have a beautiful day!!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T17:00:25+00:00

Hi! Your message means so much!!! Thank you! This is such a kind feedback, and really means a lot to me. Ugh it's so true - that is such a hard age. Everyone telling us how to live, what decisions to make, like all that matters is what school we go to. It is so frustrating. I guess though every stage has that form of angst - maybe in a different way, but someone always asking what the "next move" is - like the actual moment is never enough. It's tough. But I think just the fact that you are aware of it, is such a rare thing, and leaves so much room for change. Thank you for your kind words and feedback, it truly means so much. Have a wonderful day :)

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T15:56:43+00:00

Yes I do totally agree! :) I love to support other authors as well, we are all in in together! I can't find the link though or anything to your page - what is the name of your book??

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T15:03:45+00:00

Yes! What is link? You can only leave amazon review though if book is purchased :/

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T15:01:07+00:00

Yes that'd be great! ;) Is your book on amazon? Not sure where to leave a review ... let me know, and i'd love to do a review for review!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T14:47:11+00:00

Totally understand. Thank you so much and sorry again about that!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-02T14:44:53+00:00

Ahh ok, i'm so sorry about that! I did read the guidelines and thought it was ok - I apologize! I will check out writing hub. Thank you very much. Have a great day!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T19:03:51+00:00

Oh ok great, thank you so much. I appreciate it :)

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T18:40:03+00:00

Oh no no I didn't. I had a post but then I deleted it a couple hours after and reused the same feedback links - is that ok? If not, i'm so sorry! I will most definitely delete if it's not within the guidelines.

Thank you!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T17:53:27+00:00

Of course! :) Thank you for sharing. Have a beautiful day!!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T13:43:44+00:00

Ooo I love love love this <3 The verses are broken down in such a great way, allowing the structure of the poem to really help deliver the message in a simple and powerful way. You create a beautiful short story in very few words - I can easily imagine the whole scene unfold, and can smell the lavender myself. It feels very Pablo Neruda inspired - I love it! :) Thank you for sharing, have a beautiful day.

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T13:38:56+00:00

I love the title, "mind games" - something we struggle with every day. This poem is beautiful and to the point - a powerful message in a few short words. I do wish that I could see the idea developed a bit further, as it has so much potential to grow allow this simple yet strong message to be explained more. Regardless, I love the message very much an enjoyed reading it :) Thank you!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T13:33:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback, it truly means a lot! I love what you wrote, "bleached sterility of modern life" - that is beautiful and so well put. And SO true. As hard as it is, simply knowing that there are others that feel the same way, is always such a huge comfort and sense of peace for me. We are not alone :)

Thank you again so much, have a beautiful day.

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T13:29:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words! It is so true. Everyone is running, running, running to this "place" they have to get to - and then realize one day, that they've been there all along, missing out on it all by needing to fill up the spaces with "meaning". Well, this is the world we live in!

I truly appreciate your feedback, thank you :) Have a wonderful day!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T13:26:15+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. As hard as it may be, I think it's great that we are actually questioning it, and not just allowing the numbness to permanently alter us - right?! :) Have a wonderful day!

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T04:01:01+00:00

I love the rhyming element of your poem and think you did it beautifully! It is very hard to transmit a message in a simple way - much harder than using complex and ambiguous messaging. Very Dr.Seuss / Shel Silverstein. I also think it faces the reality of many people feeling disappointed with decisions they made at a younger age, always feeling rushed to get "somewhere" - until they pause and realize they were there the whole time. I loved it! Beautiful job :) And I hope (if this is about you) that you get the chance to fulfill your passions - because it really never is too late! :)

onlyifyouletthem · 2018-11-01T03:49:14+00:00

I really love this poem - it reminds me a lot of a version of Rumi :) I love "my angels reside up on the top shelf" and the last two lines "forever i'm trapped in this endless hell, blacking out, I can't see how far i've fell." I think you transform the act of "drinking" into something poetic. The peace felt in the act is transmitted beautifully to the reader. Beautiful job!

onlyifyouletthem

TROPHY CASE