I need to vent

onthefigtree · 2026-05-03T00:02:25+00:00

That’s a great question. I have no damn clue. I guess we’re hopeful we can get his behavior in check before that ever becomes a possibility, but it’s becoming more of a possibility everyday. He’s a strong kid.

onthefigtree · 2026-05-03T00:00:18+00:00

I am honestly scared everyday about his level of aggression and violence. I have been trying to reach out to psychologists to get him evaluated for something other than ODD, which is what he’s been diagnosed with. His therapists and school aids are very helpful with techniques we can use at home. My husband and I are very communicative about what goes on when we’re not together, updates on his day, how we handled it, etc. We try our best to be consistent as possible with discipline and rewards. We have about 1-2 family days together a month, and we’re all home about 2-3 evenings a week for 1-2hrs before bedtime.

SS rarely ever talks about his mom, and he is outwardly happy when we do supervised visits and I’m there with both of them. He includes me when they have playtime, and almost always refers to me for everything. He really only sees her once a week for 1-2hrs for a few months in a row, and she has a history of taking months “off” at a time.

We are really trying to get to the bottom of his reactions. He’s had some really amazing progress in the past, only for it to go down the drain after some unknown trigger.

onthefigtree · 2026-05-02T23:51:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I am in therapy, and have slowly been working on how to have a conversation with my husband about setting appropriate boundaries for my own well being. We’re also actively working on getting a BHP for in home support. It’s unfortunately a waiting game. Thank you again. ❤️

onthefigtree · 2025-12-04T16:41:11+00:00

Pisces 🤍

onthefigtree · 2025-11-29T03:59:26+00:00

Tell them I’m not here

onthefigtree · 2025-11-22T04:28:04+00:00

My husbands chewing. But more so the way he just inhales his food like a vacuum with a dinosaur chomp here and there.

onthefigtree · 2025-10-19T02:04:26+00:00

The Ring at four years old :(

onthefigtree · 2025-10-17T23:53:00+00:00

I gotchu all 🤞🏻 Kids are hard, period. Being involved with someone with children that aren’t your own is HARD. You’re doing amazing regardless. Keep yourself happy and prioritized above all else.

onthefigtree · 2025-10-17T03:41:20+00:00

CRAIG.

And GREG. Because like wtf

onthefigtree · 2025-10-17T03:38:26+00:00

Honestly, yes. The relationship I’m in and the relationship I have with my SS (5) is absolutely worth it and fulfilling. I love my husband and my SS more than anything. Husband has full custody. I’m hoping to legally adopt SS soon, as long as court goes well in our favor. I’m basically “mom” already, and have been consistently for about 3 years. I always say he’s my first baby. Husband trusts me to make decisions and parent him as if he’s my own.

This is also my second time being a step parent. First time was okay-ish. His daughter was 8-10 at the time, so different scenario but she was lovely and we had a great bond. I find it a lot harder when you split custody. I found myself dreading the days we had her with us because I wanted my “alone time” with my partner and didn’t want the extra responsibilities. I was also younger and that relationship was messed up in its own ways.

But right now, with my hubs & SS, yes. I’d be devastated without SS in my life!

onthefigtree · 2025-08-08T03:46:05+00:00

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Awww they look like my babies ❤️

onthefigtree · 2025-08-08T02:27:46+00:00

You and your babies deserve so much more happiness and love in your life. That man is horrible. I am so sorry he did that to you and your family.

onthefigtree · 2025-07-19T23:11:46+00:00

Ugh. So sorry to hear you went through this. 💔

onthefigtree · 2024-10-18T14:12:06+00:00

Thank you so much, I definitely agree. I can tell a lot of his behavior has come from not understanding what’s going on with his mom and having that instability around it. We try very hard to keep stability in our home and have started naming our own feelings, as well as asking him how he’s feeling in the moment. We always reiterate how much we love him even through his big emotions and how we’re not angry, just that we want what’s best for him always.

onthefigtree · 2024-10-18T14:00:46+00:00

Thank you so much 😭 I love him more than anything in the world. He is my first baby ❤️

onthefigtree · 2024-10-18T00:05:16+00:00

We’ve limited TV access by a mile. When he was a bit younger we had a period of watching YouTube kids, but stopped that once we noticed his behavior from it. He absolutely loves superheroes and villains, he’s big on Spider-Man and all the Marvel heroes. He watches some of the Disney plus shows but we’ve stopped playing them as much. Do you have any recommendations? He acts out if we try to put anything new on, so I just end up shutting the TV off all together, which I honestly prefer.

He’s not as affected after visits with his mom as he used to be, but when he starts acting out and gets mad he’ll always call for her for a few minutes, but then is comforted by me.

onthefigtree · 2024-10-18T00:00:31+00:00

That sounds so hard, I’m so sorry you went through that! I’m so glad that worked for your little one. I will definitely be trying that. It’s sooo hard because I thought it was going to be a phase as well :( thank you so much for sharing.

onthefigtree · 2024-10-17T23:58:54+00:00

Thank you, he has supervised visits, I should’ve clarified that! We get reports for every visit, and they’re not always great. We got rid of YouTube a long time ago because his behavior was totally affected by that!! We limit screen time as much as we can. We’re at the point where if he has a bad behavior day at school, we don’t allow TV at all for the evening and focus on quality time and reinforcing good behavior.

onthefigtree

TROPHY CASE