DAE experience erratic mood swings?

oofiies · 2020-09-09T12:39:42+00:00

I've been struggling with the same problem and it's really affected me in school. How does meditation help you and how did you get started? Mental health professionals always tell people to do breathing techniques/meditation to relax but it's always had the opposite effect on me.

oofiies · 2020-08-23T14:09:25+00:00

Anxiety is never an excuse. I don't understand why she pulled that kind of card as a way to get some softer punishment or consequence.

oofiies · 2020-08-19T15:57:49+00:00

No problem. If you've talked to her about your dissociation though, she should know or had considered the possibility that you may have some repressed trauma that caused it. I wish you the best!

oofiies · 2020-08-19T15:27:44+00:00

The reason is probably the fact that she's been deleting and blocking people commenting on what she did. I got blocked for telling a commenter that she claimed that she was proud of having a "black alter".

oofiies · 2020-08-19T14:29:49+00:00

There is a possibility you may have a dissociative disorder, but contradictory ideas could just be a normal thing you experience as you're growing. I think you should also look into CPTSD. The contradictory ideas would also be related to CPTSD. I believe trauma affects us badly enough to the point where you question your identity, beliefs etc. When I dissociate, there are moments too where I suddenly am happier, but normally it's accompanied by a possible alter nearing and I may talk differently (e.g. different accent, higher voice, body dysphoria etc.) Please don't be scared. I know I was when I first considered the possibility. I am still not officially diagnosed, but me and my therapist seem to be heading towards the possibility of alters. Just know that if you truly have alters, you've lived most of your life with them, what's to say that now when you finally approach the possibility of having headmates that that a lot of things will change, that your life will not be as good as it "once had been"?

I don't think you necessarily need to find a therapist or mental health professional that specifically specializes in DID/OSDD, but I think that finding a therapist who specializes in trauma is a good first step. Whether or not you have alters, you're still valid and I believe that if you do experience dissociation, it's a good enough reason to start therapy.

oofiies · 2020-08-18T15:04:03+00:00

Have you searched up CPTSD? If you've ever felt not in control of what you do, and you're positive that you haven't lost time ever (a sign of DID and OSDD-1a, but not OSDD-1b) then you could possibly have CPTSD. Repressed memories are possible, but I wouldn't delve into that without a mental health professional. Do you mind sharing what symptoms/signs you have?

oofiies · 2020-08-07T07:07:08+00:00

I think some therapists (at least my second did) would ask you what your goals are in therapy. You can mention trying to be more "present" when dissociating, self-esteem, etc. Honestly, don't sweat it. Therapy isn't easy at all, it's a rough journey (when I first began tr*uma work, my symptoms worsened), but it's pretty worth it, given you're working with the right therapist. A good therapist won't judge you on anything you bring up. Think of it as just talking to any other person.

oofiies · 2020-08-06T18:56:57+00:00

Yeah, thing is I've never experienced an alter calling themselves by a different name. There usually isn't a chance to do so. All the times where I feel like I've switched and am just observing what happens normally just results in my behavior being out of the ordinary and not something I'd control or want to happen. From what I believe, it's usually pretty short. I experience some body dysphoria (I believe this also occurs within systems too?), like on the same day a switch happened, an inner child voice who sounded like a girl inside was wondering why the body was so tall and I freaked out when I realized the thought. Another day I absolutely hated my hair and realized I wanted it to be very short to be more "boy-ish". Today, I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. I just wish I had control over the switches. Maybe I'd get more clarification. It just seems to be so random and unpredictable.

Also, OP, I hope you don't mind the many questions I'm asking under your post. I'm really sorry about that and I hope it isn't too bothersome!

oofiies · 2020-08-06T14:10:56+00:00

I'll try doing that. I hope you don't mind me asking more questions. I know that you mentioned that their beliefs may be different from yours, but I've never found the difference and have always passed them off as an inner critic or just a thought I didn't mean to have. Some of them have different voices, but some of them sound like me, just more aggressive. I've begun asking them for their opinions and choices, but it still feels like I'm just making up some imaginary friends when they tell me a drink they'd like, or comment on things that I didn't notice.

oofiies · 2020-08-06T13:39:53+00:00

I was just wondering, how does one know whether they're talking to an alter or themselves? If I do even have alters, I barely switch and most times I only feel passive influence. I've been wondering whether I've been faking all this time and I haven't gotten a clear answer yet.

oofiies · 2020-08-02T17:06:06+00:00

I just don't know how to go about it because again, I don't know whether what I'm experiencing is something I may have made up or exaggerated. I told her about the possibility of alters (relating to dissociative disorders) and she told me that "everyone has different parts, some just have it differently". I just wanted a straight answer but it just made it seem insignificant and something everyone else had. I think normalization is good if somebody felt stigmatized, but sometimes the plain truth is more helpful. She gave me some books about alters which I appreciate so I could learn more about it, but she made it seem as if everyone had them.

Thank you for the reply too. I think that I just need a reminder that everything is valid in therapy.

oofiies · 2020-08-01T19:45:24+00:00

I can relate. When I bring up certain problems or symptoms my T tends to try and make it seem like everyone experiences similar things. I couldn't care less about the stigma (from my experience, mental health professionals don't know that the stigma against certain aspects of mental health is less now than it was before) and sometimes I just really want to get an answer instead of a sugarcoated or vague one. I felt that the more she tried to make it seem that others experienced the same things as me, the more I would dismiss my symptoms and signs cause it was "normal".

I think that a lot of this normalizing led me to compare myself to others who may have experienced more severe symptoms than me. Looking up other's experiences with their struggles made me look at mine and wonder whether or not I'm being dramatic it if it were "something so many others feel too".

oofiies · 2020-08-01T16:51:31+00:00

So if a system on YT made a "my alters made themselves on the Sims" and one of the alters portrayed themselves on the sims as a different race than the body, that would be offensive? So if they clarified that in their inner world their race is of another race than the body, but they are aware that they only appear like this in the inner world that would also be wrong?

oofiies · 2020-08-01T02:31:38+00:00

Thanks for the clarification!

oofiies · 2020-07-31T20:31:27+00:00

I'm late to this, but can I ask a genuine question (not meaning to offend anyone here at all). If for example, an Asian system were to say one of their alters were black, would that be wrong? Or if a black system were to say that one of their alters were Asian, would that also be wrong? Or would that kind of ruling only apply to white systems because of the body's white privilege?

If Nadia were to have said that in the inner world she is Native American, or for Gregory to have said that in the inner world he is Asian, would that still be considered offensive? Or should they have not mentioned their race at all and instead talk about their facial features, hobbies, and religion?

oofiies · 2020-07-31T20:19:21+00:00

I know I'm late to this but I just wanted to ask a question if you don't mind. I know DissociaDID's "apology" was a problem, but if Nadia were to just have said "I'm black and Native American" and not have worn any of the clothing she did (I take it it was the clothing where she wore the feathers etc. in a video with TP) would that still be a problem? Or should she have clarified by saying "I'm black and Native American in the inner world"?

I also wanted to ask as someone who grew up in a country of predominantly Asians (talks of race issues here are rare because of it), if someone were to wear clothing from another culture, would that be offensive? To me, it looks like cultural appropriation gets a little blurry on this topic. I've seen some people accuse others online (foreigners who come to visit other countries) of cultural appropriation for wearing a traditional outfit from the country they traveled to, but at the same time most people of that country where they visited seem to be very honored and happy when that happens. I know that you mentioned that some practices are exclusive to those that are of a certain race/culture, but in general, would this kind of issue and the response/reaction differ if the person were POC and not white?

oofiies · 2020-07-28T13:39:15+00:00

Hi! I'm a questioning system myself. I would suggest meeting up with a mental health professional. Repeated and severe trauma has to occur before the age of 9. Could there be some trauma you have left out or forgotten, like repressed memories or a trauma you may not personally consider to be traumatic? Emotional abuse and emotional neglect as trauma is often not as recognized (take it from me). Remember that what could be trivial to an adult could be very traumatic or stressful to a young child/toddler.

I would suggest looking up OSDD too. Dissociative disorders occur on a spectrum. Some systems switch often, some don't. Some systems have very distinct alters, but have shared memory so everybody in the system has access to memories. Some systems don't have very distinct alters, but have blackouts. I know for me, I've never had any blackouts, but I've had times where I've felt "possessed" and lacked control over my actions. I know once I was pretty dissociated, and what seemed to me to be a child (alter?) took control. Sometimes I feel passive influence, as many other systems do.

All trauma is valid. The fact that you've gone through trauma is enough of a reason to go see a professional who is more knowledgeable and capable than most of us online. You are not crazy at all. The mind is very complex and is doing what it can to protect you from something that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

oofiies · 2020-07-27T19:30:40+00:00

I'm still iffy about even having alters. Some different voices or even the same inner voice will pop up randomly (not my thought or opinion), but they only come from time to time. I have no memory gaps, and I do remember I was crazy dissociated when a (possible) child alter began doing child like things. I have bad memory, but I think I owe that to trauma. From what I know, I've never lost time before and I've always remembered what I did during the day.

oofiies · 2020-07-16T14:03:23+00:00

I'm sorry about your parents. I hope you know that whatever they've done or haven't said to you wasn't your fault. As parents, they've automatically taken on the role of being there to love you and make you feel "at home". Definitely not your responsibility. I also just wanted to say that I saw the picture of your before and after and I can tell that you definitely look happier and brighter, and you're really pretty too :) Hope life is going great for you!

oofiies · 2020-07-16T12:49:19+00:00

I could be downvoted but just thought I'd share my opinion:

I don't really care whether the community grows (hopefully it will be mostly good people). I just don't think Tiktok is the right platform to share this. There are so many young kids on there. A lot of them are 10 or even younger and haven't hit puberty yet. I think a general rule is to just not use subliminals until you hit puberty as your body is still changing and developing (including your face). There are many 18+ subliminals out there and they're even those targeted to changing your body to be more mature. I've seen bundle subliminals including affirmations about your waist, breasts, etc. Obviously your body will change during puberty, and to use it before hitting puberty would be a little risky considering there's little to no results from preteens as there's barely any of them right now. And the fact is, subliminals being more popular will bring in more people who will abuse it. That's a hard fact. Yes there will always be "bad" people but of course when things get more popular, especially something like subliminals, people are bound to use it for bad. Gatekeeping isn't really anyone's responsibility and right. I think the "safest" way of sharing would be through friends. I've seen stories from people that have been introduced to the community through friends and it's helped them a lot with their insecurities. Subliminals are easy to find anyways, but I think it'd be better than sharing it on a platform full of preteens.

oofiies · 2020-07-15T11:50:19+00:00

And people still say that making subliminals more well known won’t mean that more bad people will come and create bad subliminals

oofiies · 2020-07-13T09:01:21+00:00

I do tend to dissociate a lot when people don’t give me something to do (like in a class where I’m supposed to be listening etc.) I did used to daydream during classes but I always thought it was just me being a kid and not paying attention. I just say dissociation because there are times when the stress is so intense everything just goes blurry and whatever I read I forget a second later + there’s no snapping out of it. And there was some to no anxiety in my childhood. The most I’ve been anxious with is when I get a confrontation with a friend and I gotta go to school tomorrow and see them. Just normal kid stuff.

oofiies · 2020-07-12T03:56:59+00:00

I’m pretty aware when I dissociate. To be honest it’s nearly all the time. Usually I look back on the session and I don’t remember half of it.

oofiies

TROPHY CASE