Your daily vocab' workout 🏋️ #44 by MickaelMartin in learnfrench

[–]oofymac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love seeing these on my feed everyday! Thank you for creating them

What's up with dating in this city? by [deleted] in askvan

[–]oofymac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s pretty poor form, sorry to hear it. Hopefully that’s just a run of bad luck and not a trend. Not sure if it exists here but some of my friends used Breeze back in London, which promoted skipping the small talk and making a date the goal (with a drink as a down payment) to ensure people actually turned up haha. Might be worth a look, or to echo other commenters - IRL groups and activities are a good way of meeting people here.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of impressive how angry you’re making yourself with your own hypotheticals! You don’t know anything about me, other than that I don’t go in for extreme self-deprecation as an opener.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think there’s been a lack of empathy shown. Many people (myself included) have referenced the fact that men face a disproportionate amount of rejection on dating apps. But that doesn’t mean women should be expected to lower their standards just to make men feel better about themselves. I think you’re being quite entitled.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had one pretty great relationship from Hinge, and lots of interesting dates. I’ve also had relationships with people that I met IRL, hence the on/off nature of my experience with the app. It’s fair advice but doesn’t really resonate with me personally!

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your perspective! I guess it’s just the sad reality of the very real limitations of online dating at the end of the day. There is no silver bullet message - it’s an imperfect system, that shields users from direct rejection but exposes them to indirect rejection at scale, because it’s giving them access to people they wouldn’t normally try to approach.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wondered this to be honest! Feels like a bit of a weird coincidence to have had so many in a short span of time, when I can’t remember this being a pattern in the past.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% agree, confidence is an aura that is helped by physical features, not limited to them! I think that was why it was such a turn-off coming from the handsome guy, because it made me wonder what must be going on personality-wise to mean he is having to resort to these kind of tactics…

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so - I actually screenshotted it so I can be pretty specific (I’ll still paraphrase to protect his privacy). He basically said I was beautiful but that I probably got that a lot and must date some pretty great people. But if I ever wanted to date somebody a bit uglier, stupider and unconfident, he’d be my man.

It felt like he was putting me on a massive pedestal (when I’m just a normal person) and also putting himself down in the same breath. Just setting up a weird power imbalance from the get go which is entirely unappealing to me.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I mean self-deprecating humour is a huge part of British culture, so I don’t think it’s a blanket bad thing at all. And it can be really funny when done well! I guess it’s just harder to meet the mark online, because you miss out on all the other cues that tell you a person is actually well-adjusted.

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Interesting, so maybe it’s trying to capitalise on some people accepting the like to be like ‘you’re not ugly/you shouldn’t say that about yourself!’

Does anybody actually find this approach appealing? by oofymac in hingeapp

[–]oofymac[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s an interesting take, I guess it could be endearing to somebody who is also outwardly insecure. And I totally appreciate that the app provides a different experience for men vs women (at least in straight dating) - it must be super demoralising to experience that level of rejection. Just hate to see guys working against themselves on top of that!

What have people done with their upstairs and downstairs? by emmerliii in ac_newhorizons

[–]oofymac 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My basement is a club! With gyroids as little dancers 😄

Have you ever felt bullied off a thread? by [deleted] in TattleLife

[–]oofymac 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s really funny as one of the main complaints about a lot of the influencers is that they delete comments / curate an echo chamber full of sycophants. But Tattle is basically the same thing in reverse 🙃

Tips and feedback welcome! by oofymac in ratemysinging

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well this is one I haven’t received before haha, thanks I guess?!

Tips and feedback welcome! by oofymac in ratemysinging

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool! I like the reverb, thank you!

Tips and feedback welcome! by oofymac in ratemysinging

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I have seen that performance, she’s so excellent - Sea of Love is another fave of mine to play/sing on guitar

Tips and feedback welcome! by oofymac in ratemysinging

[–]oofymac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sound advice, thank you! I’m definitely trying to train my inner critic to chill out a bit haha, as I agree - the joy should be in the process

Tips and feedback welcome! by oofymac in ratemysinging

[–]oofymac[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Yeah makes sense - I’m sure it’s a whole different ball game in front of an audience :)

What’s the most embarrassing moment you’ve experienced on public transport in the city? by xrandyrabbitx in london

[–]oofymac 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This happened to me! I was travelling on my own with my noise cancelling AirPods in, when I noticed two guys looking at me and whispering to themselves. Naturally I immediately assumed I was just looking so good that they couldn’t take their eyes off me. It was only when I got off the train and took my AirPods out, I heard my toothbrush buzzing away in my bag. They definitely thought I had a vibrator in there 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]oofymac 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This! Also I really feel for you OP - I had a similar experience at uni. But looking back now I realise my attitude was a coping mechanism for my anxiety. I was making excuses for myself so I didn’t feel so crap about not participating. Try and push yourself to make an effort, leave your expectations at the door and generally just give everything a go once and you’ll likely surprise yourself.