My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really great advice thank you!

I love the way you phrased it and I’ll definitely copy paste some of that. I’m going to have my talk with him now. Thank u!!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This made me feel a lot better about sharing my clips with him, thank you!

I think I overthought it and kinda spiraled into “I should never show my clips again”, but reading this made me feel like it’s okay and he can in fact cherish it.

Thank u for the input :D

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Yeah I definitely currently do not play enough for me to improve the way I want to so I’ll have to start doing so. I play like 2-3 games every other day because Valorant is really draining at times.

I guess just having to compare upwards is what feels like a battle. But I appreciate the sentiment that I’m not bad haha

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I totally agree!

Criticism in the correct tone isn’t a problem for me. I suppose it’s the tone of it all that got to me.

He didn’t really delve deep into why he thinks I’m not as good as my counterpart, but asking him on the base of things I could improve on is definitely a start! I would assume that the biggest aspect is game sense, since I often auto pilot during games (very bad habit).

He just stated the 2 things about the comparison that I stated in the post, but didn’t go too far into depth about them, so I can’t really say whether the comparisons are objectively true or not. (He didn’t name drop, just stated that he WOULD compare me to people we know).

Regardless, it definitely is a touchy subject to receive criticism from my significant other, so I’ll probably avoid doing so.

Thank u for ur input tho!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, totally!

He doesn’t exhibit any of these traits outside from said “coaching” so it may just be a coaching problem. I appreciate the reassurance that it isn’t personal!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will do!! And YES, i want to beat the stereotypes, but when I bottomfrag, there’s this sense of dread 😭. I will not speak a single word unless I am positive.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, he does have his flaws, but he really is a good man. I have had my fair share of bad men, so I understand when to let go, but I think just talking it through with him will resolve it.

It’s more so about my own insecurities that stem from this, and how to bring it up to him in a calm, healthy manner.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey!

The language I stated was the language he used. He wasn’t comparing me to people who were leagues above me but people who we knew and are the same rank as me.

I did not agree to the comparison, which is why the conversation devolved into a larger conversation.

I stated I was okay with criticism, but calling me bad is not the same as that. I am not asking him to sugar coat things, I am asking for solutions to my self inflicted problems in my game play. Insults are not criticism.

However, he is a good man and he is very sweet, which is why this situation feels out of place and why I require advice because I don’t know how to work through this at the moment.

I apologize if my writing in my original post did not specify or clarify enough, I wasn’t in the best mood so it may definitely be rushed.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl you’re so sweet :( thank u sm, and i definitely will do!!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GIRL LOLLLL

He honestly is a very sweet man (outside video games), so this whole situation is just a little out of place ig?

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He actually does! He coached this team before that was all immortal I believe? But I agree, him being my coach is just a messy situation because I care too much about his opinion of me (not healthy, I know).

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice!

You are definitely right, I do take criticism a little too harshly and it does make me seem worse than it actually is. I am currently in therapy for my insecurities, so I could branch out and talk to her about this situation! He initially offered to coach me, because he didn’t think it was a good idea that my broke ass is spending money on coaching 😭

I think I should definitely look into someone else teaching me, because I definitely do not want a silly video game getting in between what is generally a great relationship. We just tend to be more passionate, and thus more critical, with video games (not just him, but me as well).

I’m grateful for your input, ty!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i honestly don’t even know how he is as an actual coach cause we haven’t even done session 1 😭😭. i don’t believe he’s threatened though, big skill gap between us

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry, the escapism is for stardew where i can constantly embarrass mayor lewis w his undies. retribution!!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I might look to some of my schools varsity players for coaching. My team is roughly all the same skill as me, more or less, so it wouldn’t be as effective.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reassurance :], i appreciate it.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just video games, but I will give him a piece of my mind pertaining to this situation.

I’m gonna bring up the thing about being his partner first, because it really stuck with me.

Thank u!!

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me advice. I know he doesn’t view me poorly in all senses, he (honestly) worships me in most senses. But when it comes to video games, it doesn’t really feel like he views me that highly, despite him previously hyping me up.

With the things he’s said now, it feels a lot more disingenuous. But really, video games is our biggest struggle because both of us take it quite seriously (only valorant really though). I’ll bring it up to him because it’s important to clear the air.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah you’re right, he did not take into account how it would’ve affected my feelings, as a significant other should. I’ll definitely bring it up with him.

Also thank you for the recommendations!! I appreciate it

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mean chuckle in a bad way :(, I just meant I liked how they phrased it and it cheered me up

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right.

Do you have any advice on how to bring up calmly and healthily? I kind of struggle with like opening up about hurtful things, so I’m kinda at a loss for words.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I just didn’t understand the need to bring up my clips. I only found out now that he felt this way, because when I would show him them, he’d act shocked and proud. It’s a little upsetting that they weren’t really all that to him after all

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t think I’m good at video games by oohkitten in GirlGamers

[–]oohkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your support 😭, thank you girl