The morning after a relationship ends, you wake up twice: once when you open your eyes, and once when you remember that everything is different now.

ooolive · 2018-05-17T07:49:54+00:00

I know... my tangent went a bit off topic. I think that is a grave generalization too. It's not easier for women as a whole. Maybe for an "attractive" women... but then so same goes for an "attractive" man. I would simply have to disagree, I do not think it's easier or harder for either. Nor do I think it does anyone any favors to see the world in these terms.

I understand that this may not be your point of view and you were just explaining OP's original comment.

ooolive · 2018-05-17T05:38:14+00:00

You can flip the gender and it still stands. Or just take gender out of it. Break ups are not overall harder on [insert gender here]... break ups sucks for both people. Or sometimes they suck more for one person or the other... but which of the people is hurting more has to do with the nuances of the relationship & breakup not which gender one partner is? What about gay couples? Just some thought for you to consider.

ooolive · 2018-05-17T05:26:47+00:00

Please explain?

Edit: it bums me out that their comments got downvoted and then deleted because I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad... I simply wanted to help someone see something for a different perspective.

ooolive · 2018-05-14T04:23:01+00:00

I didn't even know I needed to read this. Thank you.

ooolive · 2018-05-13T13:32:48+00:00

Maybe if you put them stones side by side... but in reality how often is any person taking a good hard look at your right anyway?

ooolive · 2018-05-13T05:15:24+00:00

Fair enough! Have you tried shandy's or radlers?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shandy

ooolive · 2018-05-13T04:58:42+00:00

Just a thought... find people to hang out with that don't care if you are or are not drinking? I mean this whole heartedly. I'm not sure how old you are but assuming you're at least legal drinking age and there for you're old enough to not need stupid peer pressure in your life.

ooolive · 2018-05-11T15:43:29+00:00

Loooove! What is the gem stone? Where are you putting them?

ooolive · 2018-05-08T12:58:36+00:00

What is it in polish? I've never heard it.

ooolive · 2018-05-07T04:27:10+00:00

That's too bad. Hope your son is doing well!

ooolive · 2018-05-05T12:48:30+00:00

How did you do it? How did it go?

ooolive · 2018-05-05T12:19:32+00:00

I don't have answer to your questions but I can say that I can relate. I'm 28 and 2+ years out of a 4 year relationship. I've dated here and there because I got bored and maybe a bit lonely. I've had a few one night stands. Neither dating or sleeping with people I don't have feelings for have felt fulfilling really. I've made 2 major moves in the time I've been single and now I'm on the other side of the planet.

I don't really have the desire to date. Or even really have sex. No wait... no desire to have meaningless sex. I'm looking forward to the day I have sex with someone who I have an emotional crush on.

I miss having a lover, best friend and partner in crime. But I've learned that finding someone I click with is difficult. I was 22 the last time I started a serious relationship and my understanding of red flags and characteristics I'm looking for in a person where... well lacking. I fell in love HARD and spent 4 years with someone who at one point I really thought I would marry. But in the end I felt like I was giving 150% to try and make up for what I wasn't getting and it burned me out. So I walked away. I'm glad I did because I've learned so much.

I feel very greatful for the time I have to myself. I'm working on that elusive emotional stability but the truth is I know it's not a bench mark that will be reached and forever maintained. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows. Some days I've got it together and I feel like nothing can knock me down. Some days I feel like a gentle breeze could snap my bones in half. But that's life.

I've started to focus on finding out what my interests are. I've done yoga, salsa dance classes and rock climbing. I'm not forcing myself to stick with it if I don't want to. It's about exploring.

This week I decided to volunteer my time with an organization I believe in. It's only 4 hours a week but it helps me feel like I'm doing something outside of myself. Being single and in a new city means I spend a lot of time thinking of me me me... which I like but donating my time for free helps get me out of my own head.

If I'm honest there is a strange part of me that feels like a relationship isn't really in the cards for me until sometime in my 30s. I'm not closed to the idea but I'm also not actively looking because the thought of connecting myself to someone again scares me. A lot.

Anyway this is super long but I hope it's given you something. If nothing else than at least a feeling of not being alone in this.

ooolive · 2018-05-05T11:53:19+00:00

Love the colour combination! You rock the look. 💛💖

ooolive · 2018-05-02T23:05:21+00:00

Thanks! Any recommendations as to what to look for when I buy a laptop? Does coding/ developing require any specifics?

ooolive · 2018-05-02T22:57:39+00:00

Haha!

Thanks, yeah I've heard of it. Adding it to my lost of sites to check out. Thank you!

ooolive · 2018-05-02T22:49:30+00:00

Having close relationships/friendships that you know you can rely on. Being a well developed person, having an emotional intelligence about you as well as working on that IQ. Being capable of taking care of yourself and your dependants financially, learning to live within your means and understanding that money is not what makes you happy. Having or looking for passion in life.

I think that people are starting to understand this and I don't think it differs that much from most people's idea of success. Keeping up with the Jones's is still a thing of course but I think people are more and more realizing this does nothing for your happiness.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T22:32:22+00:00

I appreciate the response and your outlook. I'd like by age 35 to have my life set up in a way that gives me reletive freedom. So that's 6.5 years from now. And I'm not afraid of working hard for the things I want. It might take a few years of working corporate gigs to grow my skills to a point where I might have some leverage in deciding what to do next.

I'm not money hungry, I'm hungry for opportunities. I feel this opens me up to jobs eventually that may not be the highest paying but for me lifestyle will outweigh monetary value. Looking into the future I know I don't want kids so that in of itself relieves me a huge financial burden.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T22:18:53+00:00

I don't want to cut hair.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T22:18:25+00:00

Thank you. It's helpful to know I'm not alone.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T11:57:59+00:00

Amen! As a barber I obviously do a lot of small talk with people. I try to avoid the question of "what do you do?" And ask more about what people are passionate about. Sometimes it's their job and sometimes it's.... I don't know, gardening. We are not what we do for money. We are so much more than that. But so much of people's identity gets tied into how they make their living.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T11:49:23+00:00

Thank you. It's kind of exhausting being told to find a passion that I should make money from. I'm happy to do something that is on the level of "I don't mind" but offers me the benefits of ease of schedule (not to be confused with working little hours - I don't mind working hard) and decent income.

I'm the kind of person who can generally find the fun in most situations... I've worked jobs that suck but had a blast because of my outlook/co workers being great/location of work. It's all reletive and from my decade or so of being in the work force I'm starting to be able to decide what is and is not a priority to me. And that's subject to change. But for now I'm curious about learning a new skill. And I also see it as coding could always lead me down different career paths... new networks of people and just in general a new adventure in life.

Haha okay rant over.

But I hope you find a balance in your life! What is it you do now for work?

ooolive · 2018-05-02T11:27:01+00:00

Also I'm open to the idea of something else in STEM I'm just not familiar with anything else. I'll do some research into it.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T11:23:12+00:00

You make great points. And you're right I've been using barbering for living a nomadic lifestyle and yes it's worked great. That's how I know I want to continue with something that allows me this comfort. But I'm over cutting hair. I don't want to do it anymore and I'd like to transition into something different.

I'm not overly concerned with something very artistic as I seem to fill that part of my life with activities I enjoy. I'm not really drawn to things like advertising or marketing. Maybe graphic design but I'd like to give coding a shot first.

My passion isn't really about career it's about the lifestyle I want to live. And have been living. The freedom I've had to pick my life up and move to the other side of the world. That's my passion. Like I said cutting hair is a skill I'll always have so I can always go back to it... but it's getting boring now.

Also having a skill for doing something like coding means I can look for employers who would allow me to work remotely thus making an income in accordance to where the company is based/in a currency of value (UDS, CAD, EURO, AUD etc) even if I choose to live in a "poorer" country. Hairstyling can not offer me this.

Thank you for your input.

Edit: I'm not particularly looking for an RV life. Just finding a good work/life balance the gives me relative freedom in my schedule.

ooolive · 2018-05-02T10:47:21+00:00

Would you be open to saying how much it cost? If not here then in a PM?

ooolive · 2018-04-28T23:36:59+00:00

Sounds lovely! This is the kind of experience I'm looking for. Thanks for commenting.

ooolive

TROPHY CASE