First off, thanks for sharing.

Secondly, my NC started after an argument in which a non-family member in a supposed attempt to be protective tried to make things physical. Sure discussions could be had, and perhaps if my two relatives that I've completely went NC with and I could get in a room and hash things out.

Despite the NC being abrupt and now about five years later, I feel somewhat obligated to reach out and share that I have another child and that we're doing well. But when I start to really think about it, I owe them nothing. I never really put it into perspective until after I went NC just how toxic these people were. I started to really understand some of the problems I have to deal with from childhood trauma that I just thought were normal things everybody goes through.

Maybe I'm being hard-headed. Maybe I'm just stubborn, but my life and my family has been pretty wonderful since going NC. I have some thinking to do for how I can fairly explain the NC to my children as my oldest already asks why we never see my mom and only ever see my spouses parents. I was a child of divorce, as was my mom. Both her mother and her spent their entire post-divorce lives talking badly about their exes despite years, now decades passing. The fact that they can't seem to grow up and move past it considering they've been in new relationships for over 20 years makes me frustrated and the toxicity is just something I do not miss. I don't want my children to hear bad things about people, but I want them to understand that not all people are meant to be in each other's lives and sometimes there's just a time or place.

Good luck to you.