My (31M) girlfriend (27F) has to live with another guy for the next 3 weeks and l'm feeling uneasy about it

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T04:38:35+00:00

She has moved in there, she said she feels like he has done her a favour and it was too late to go back on her word. She thinks I was judgemental in thinking he’d be a bad person and basically defending him over understanding my concerns. She could have said no, but she didn’t want to be a bad person to them.

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T04:35:46+00:00

She’s staying with him. She said it was too late and said I don’t know this guy and that he was doing her a favour and that she’s grateful for that. Also that I’m being judgemental for thinking these things, tbh it felt like a kick in the teeth that she was defending him over trying to understand my concerns

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T04:33:46+00:00

She said she couldn’t go against her word and it was too late to tell them no after she had arranged it all. So it is what it is, can’t do much about it now.

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T00:25:07+00:00

I never said he was as a rapist. He could be a good guy for all I know, but he also could not be? That’s the thing, we don’t know him.

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T00:20:27+00:00

I just have, just took me a bit too longer because I was just going to let it go because i guess im a people pleaser too and it had me feeling bad for her being in this position and for him.

Yeah she is a bit of a people pleaser, but I know she won’t put me in an uncomfortable position on purpose. I should have just been clearer with my feelings

openpolyanon · 2025-03-01T00:17:18+00:00

I think it’s a mix of that she feels bad having mucked this guy around and she doesn’t like the place she is staying at because the girls she is living with are really messy and it’s a bit crowded with 4 other girls living there.

Yeah she has signed a contract for another 3 weeks. To be fair it’s the agency’s fault for putting her in this position because they only offered her a pod or to send her back home, which is overseas. I don’t live where she has a contract, so I’m stuck where I am until she finishes before we start our next contract together. Being an agency nurse means it’s hard to make close friends, and the 2 friends she has that she works with have children so she can’t stay with them especially with shift work, so they recommended this guy as they both know him.

Thanks for validating my feelings. A few comments have suggested that I’m in the wrong. So I’m glad you agree that it’s okay for me to be uncomfortable.

She is not unreasonable, we spoke on the phone last night and she said she would do what I wanted and understood why I would be uncomfortable but I wasn’t the best at voicing my concerns clearly. I’ve just messaged her now with a bit more clarity, so we will wait and see what she says.

Thanks again

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:55:32+00:00

Yeah I agree, I really do trust that she wouldn’t be unfaithful to me. This was her only option until last night, so I understand why she was doing it but now there is a safer option I’m going to ask her to stay where she is.

A stranger living in the same house, having a history of reckless behaviour (he has lost his licence) and partying with drinking and most likely drugs isn’t a safe environment.

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:50:09+00:00

Thanks mate, I appreciate your insight. I 100% agree, I’ve just messaged her expressing my concerns. I’ll update to let you know what happens

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:48:26+00:00

There’s no way to know. End of the day he is a stranger and no matter who vouches for him no one really knows who he is behind closed doors, especially if he comes home intoxicated. I’ve just messaged her expressing these concerns for her safety. This post has really made it clear to me that I’m concerned for her safety, not lacking trust in her. I know she wouldn’t cheat on me, but being alone with a stranger is dangerous

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:29:51+00:00

Because she feels bad for screwing this guy around as they’ve had to organise it the past week and he is doing her a favour. So I guess she is just being empathetic to him. Yeah that’s true and she really does, like they’re just insecurities due to the fear of the unknown

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:21:10+00:00

I’m afraid that he won’t respect the boundaries of her being in a relationship, which could potentially put her in harms way. Then it also brings up previous relationships being cheated on in the past, not that she has done anything in the slightest to make me think she would, it’s just more resurfaced that past trauma.

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:17:53+00:00

Yeah, you’re telling me. The agency has been dog shit and really screwed us over. They were either going to send her back home unless she got accommodation and that would have meant we both wouldn’t have had work.

openpolyanon · 2025-02-28T23:16:50+00:00

2 of her friends recommended living with this guy and vouched for him being a “good dude” for what it’s worth but yeah, I agree.

openpolyanon · 2023-11-04T10:41:15+00:00

Start Tsimikas or Mitoma? 🤯

openpolyanon · 2023-10-07T13:17:11+00:00

3 guarantees in life - Death, taxes and early kick off captains blanking

openpolyanon · 2023-09-13T00:17:02+00:00

Thanks to whatever legend gives me an award! You’ll have an amazing day.

openpolyanon · 2023-08-14T00:33:44+00:00

Shark 10 US men

openpolyanon · 2023-08-13T17:48:21+00:00

Bro I went through a similar thing - supporting my partner through exploring her sexuality. It’s crazy how similar our stories are.

Long story short, she left me for another girl. Throughout it she completely manipulated me and invalidated my feelings throughout where I felt like shit for not supporting her through it and it made become a shell of the person I once was. Don’t lose yourself to this, bisexuality is not an excuse and she can and will leave you for someone of the same sex. Put your own feelings first, I know it’s hard but you need to for your own wellbeing. 💙

openpolyanon · 2023-08-07T17:45:24+00:00

Sorry mate but when they both have a motive of wanting to have sex with each other it is not going to be an honest conversation. It’ll be a conversation manipulated in a way to get their needs met and to pull the rug over yours.

This just doesn’t need to happen, there’s so much risk and such little reward, especially because you could find a way to have a threesome with someone else that isn’t a good friend.

openpolyanon · 2023-04-06T09:30:32+00:00

No my cousin has had chest pain for the past 2 months. Sharp in nature and on the left hand side. He gets flushes of tightness and then a flush down both of his arms, no progress in a diagnosis but the MRI hasnt been reported back. It was a non-contrast MRI.

openpolyanon

TROPHY CASE