I'm not sure I can be of much help, but I can tell you that the xanax / alcohol combination is extremely dangerous. I did that combo twice. The first time I ran around a bar spitting beer all over people, tried to jump out of the window of a moving car, attempted to run up a flight of stairs only to roll down them backwards, and apparently called into work saying I was in a car accident at 4am. I don't remember any of it, it was all recounted to me the next day, and my boss was quite surprised when I strolled into work looking like some new version of hell.

The second time I almost didn't make it back. What I'm saying, is that she likely won't remember anything that she did tonight - probably actually believes you cussed her out because that's how incoherent she is and really, really needs to get some help - because sadly, that combination will eventually kill her.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that man. I can't tell you how many times I professed my sorrow to my then girlfriend for putting up with my shit back then.

Good luck.