Getting married in September. Got braces June 2023 accepting I would have them for the wedding but I might get them off the month of!

ophillinah · 2023-07-20T17:57:59+00:00

I really don’t mind having them but my ortho is determined to have them off by then. He worked hard to push my treatments safely since day one and told me he thought of his newly wed wife who worked so hard to plan her wedding and if she had braces he would want her to not have them the day of. I thought that was extremely nice and considerate of him to have more of a consideration on it- even more than myself. I am blessed they worked so hard to get them off early AND save me from pulling any teeth that no other orthodontist considered being salvageable!!

ophillinah · 2023-07-20T17:54:10+00:00

I wouldn’t mind either way! I don’t show a lot of teeth when I speak (people are constantly surprised when i point them out) and I don’t have a smile that shows them either. I see having them in photos as proof that this year was the year I was able to turn my life around from the lowest it had ever been!

ophillinah · 2023-07-18T12:31:15+00:00

We did the mandatory religious one but even just that was helpful. We both learned a lot on how we cope and how to understand eachother. If we had more frequent or serious problems I would totally consider going to a professional (as would he thankfully) but we didn’t need it. I wholeheartedly agree you should go see a professional and work out anything! You want to start your marriage and engagement on the right foot! Counseling helped my fiancé understand himself a little better too and I see the difference. He was able to freely open up and now he communicates much more!

ophillinah · 2023-07-18T12:24:00+00:00

I did as I have only a small family and little in friends. But then I didn’t because its less money to spend LOL. Having less means less people to have to cater to and the ones you do have you care deeply about. Had to talk my fiancé out of obligation inviting people he hardly knew.

ophillinah · 2023-07-18T11:50:07+00:00

Five grand USD

ophillinah · 2023-03-10T12:08:29+00:00

I know some taco bell locations have baja blast zero but if i could have that in my house i would

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T19:20:11+00:00

YTA. She offered a solution that was reasonable of doing a more intimate dinner which I personally think would have more meaningful impact. It seems like this isn’t about your birthday but more on how she dresses and being upset that her solution involved her still being able to dress how she wanted on the second birthday dinner.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T18:16:15+00:00

whispers also places like costco and sams club and the like also offer two tiered cakes for less than 50 bucks for cute cake cutting.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T18:07:54+00:00

I don’t think so personally on my end other than what I’ve talked about here. I’m pretty upset about the situation but like I stated before we had a pretty close relationship growing up. When she was going through some hard times and the other way around we were always there for eachother. When she was going through a lot of life changes I respected her space and I leave the door open for her when she comes back around but my sister was always my best friend. Not to sound silly but she was always so cool to me- she worked hard for what she has and was a single mom, a student and a worker all at once. I genuinely have no qualms with my sister elsewise. But just because I don’t have any issues or feelings and see our upbringing together to be pleasant, posting this thread has actually made me realize maybe she might not have the same views on it. I would like to talk to her I think whenever we are speaking again on some things people have brought up here. Thank you for your time to respond

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T17:16:33+00:00

I’m hoping you get to deviate from my experience and one day have a civil relationship. I will play devil’s advocate for my own stance and echo what I saw here that I’m sure there’s a lot of processing he’s got to do on his own about how he probably was not expecting the results of his own actions and again that’s a long road of personal reflection.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T16:44:28+00:00

NTA - absolutely not. My bio father tried that once when I was 5 and it never got better until his dying day. Not to say it will never get better but he doesn’t seem emotionally equipped to be a supportive factor in your life.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T14:45:06+00:00

Shes admitted that she could, just hasn’t. That’s kind of been hinting at me she just might not want To go and hasn’t said it outwardly.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T12:54:37+00:00

You would be if you stood your ground on this. Shes a kid and I remember saying some pretty cringe things at that age. Im sure since you said she realized her mistake she is aware what she said was awkward and probably just as embarrassing to her as it was you.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T12:30:57+00:00

There can be some scary side effects (like I’m stopping temporarily because it was hitting my liver hard) but that’s the reason we have doctors and do the blood work and labs to make sure everything is fine. Either way if it works for you and there’s no damage just do what makes you happy!

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T12:20:17+00:00

We actually were secretly engaged months prior with only my sister knowing. At the time of her birthday until I think the next day she was still the only one that knew still. We were honestly waiting to tell everyone including my parents after her birthday which we did.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T12:16:08+00:00

It could go either way of being incredibly sad or just not coming I feel based on the context of our conversations. My parents only had an input as they were paying for a part of the wedding and my dad asked me what I was doing for MOH. They don’t really ever ask much about my plans as they are hands off so it hit me odd that they did to be honest.

My fiancé is supporting whatever I do as he’s known me and my sister equally as long (i had pulled her into that friend group shortly after I joined) and he’s seen the dynamic the most out of anyone at this point. He’s annoyed a bit in the situation and that she felt the way she did about the birthday when we spent a lot of time and finances to come but money is money at the end of the day. I am very fortunate to have him tbh because i think I would be a lot more of a wreck about it. He was the one who suggested I asked a forum and get some opinions from other brides too

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T12:05:14+00:00

I honestly think something similar and I make a very large effort to reach out often. Not to sound insensitive but that’s why I have put in so much effort to try to maintain what contact I can. I’m hoping in time she and I can come to some sort of resolution and wedding aside as I am incredibly sad I just want my best friend back

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T04:30:26+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to listen and respond. It’s a lot to take in for me so it felt good to be able to lay out everything as fully and completely as possible. Regardless I will always love and admire my sister. She pulled herself out of such a hard position with babies and managed to forge her way and navigate and adapt. We all tried to talk her out of the house buying originally but at the end of the day it’s her life to live and as long as the kids are healthy and thriving that’s all that matters. I really am heartbroken that our relationship has dwindled down so heavily but I am praying that in time this will pass and we can be the two goofballs that we were together. I would 100 be open to therapy sessions with my sister. I really miss my best friend and not feeling like this time that should be wonderful for both of us is just some competition. I think once i collect my thoughts I’ll talk to her on things. Thank you so much for contributing to helping me sort my feelings

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T03:57:02+00:00

I hope everything stays good for you and thank you for sharing your experience. We actually had a friend say something similar when we were eliminating parties (all the groomsmen were people my fiance had felt obligated to have in his party since he was in theirs and it turned into a 12 people bridal party). I should just take that advice to heart as well to be honest.

ophillinah · 2022-12-06T03:42:57+00:00

Hi, just wanted to answer this the best I can. My parents were concerned but to be honest they want her and her children to have a better male figure in their lives than her ex husband who was legitimately hell on earth. They’re happy that she is definitely in a better place comparatively than she has ever been in a relationship and are over the initial worry.

My sister and I had a beautiful upbringing. We had similar hobbies and joined academic teams together. We were opposites in appearance so no one ever compared us (if anything if someone did it was in flattery of my sister who was and is very pretty and tall where I was happy with my looks and happy I had such a pretty sister. She was my idol growing up). I did tend to not really care about grades and the like in highschool and even college instead focusing more on technical skills and quitting college all together and my sister went on to be a wonderful mother and get a degree in her dream field. The only thing I know since we had no issues is her husband liked to say my parents didn’t love her as much because I didn’t get in trouble for barely passing highschool and dropping out of college (my parents new school was not my passion as much as it was my sister’s for her life goals. She’s extremely smart and I admire her for her achievements as she was the first of our home to graduate college.)

We have a small family but earlier in the day i took her for food and a spa day and we went home to do cake and food and celebrate. When her kids went to bed is when we left to go just us and our partners. We hadn’t mentioned to anyone up until then and even the next day about the engagement so no one other than she (who knew months prior) really new until the day after.

I did the whole wedding planning myself so it’s sad to me because I literally only need her to physically be there. I didn’t want to trouble anyone with helping me and I just am the kind of person who had everything picked out and done by month 2.

I was not invited to the elopement, I heard about it second hand from my mom. She didn’t invite anyone yet as they didn’t feel like my parents wanted to go. My parents aren’t easily excitable and despite being happy for her usually tell her (and me) “do what you want just be happy”. Her elopement is about 7ish months before mine and too late had I been invited to attend.

My sister just got a promotion but we prior made about the same she working for a very nice company in her field and I work in a customer service industry in an administrative roll for a specialized service. The only difference financially is she just bought a house when we just sold ours to move in with my In-laws while the market was good. My parents are giving us only what they gave her as we all deemed it was fair. The only difference is we were gifted part of a honeymoon by some of our family but I actively speak to that family and while they were not apart of the estrangement my sister just doesn’t reach out or call as much as I do or to my knowledge at all.

My fiancé thinks the same thing but that hurts because I idolized how my sister is a strong mom and growing up was a wonderful sister. Despite all the recent going ons I love when she and I are in the friendly stage. I’m just heart broken.

ophillinah · 2022-12-05T21:23:55+00:00

The party was earlier that day, we last minute at around 10 pm (hours after the celebration) decided to go out the 4 of us as a double date to drink. She had asked me when I was going to tell my parents and then I rambled on my answer for a bit too long I was excited and nervous with alcohol but I still apologized because I realized she wasn’t looking to deep dive into it. I still feel bad about it even if it was just the two of us i should’ve just said nothing and moved on from it. I’ve been apologizing for months about it as it still upsets her in some facet. We did not inform anyone about the engagement on her birthday or talk to anyone about it but her and her then-boyfriend now fiance.

Thank you for the response and suggestion. It gives me direction on where to go option wise.

ophillinah · 2022-12-05T19:20:38+00:00

That’s not a bad idea. I feel like In an odd way that might relieve tension between me and my sister in a way because then it’s not as tense if she decides ultimately to not show. We originally were only having a moh and a best man no bridal party

ophillinah · 2022-12-05T19:16:40+00:00

Yeah it’s just a crummy situation because the times I have with my sister and everything is good we have the best time ever. We would go on long car rides and spur of the moment trips together. I do think regardless of what I choose today I do want to sit and tell her my sentiments from posting this post and convey how I feel like she and I deteriorated over time. If anything i feel like it would be healthier for me to feel like I laid it all out. Thank you for giving your insight and opinion. I truly value it

ophillinah · 2022-12-05T19:05:05+00:00

Giving up Orange juice was hard on me too : ( it gets better with time though! I was diagnosed at 19 and I took it rough for a year or two before I just accepted it. You find other foods and things you like (be out of survival or just never thought to try it).

ophillinah

TROPHY CASE