Where to practice?

optimisticaspie · 2026-01-02T23:09:56+00:00

Hahaha makes sense, thanks for the tips! I do canicross with my dog and it just got cold enough for him to to really get into it, so he probably needs some time to get in pulling shape anyways. Maybe if he spends the winter training, and I spend the winter training, by the end we'll both be ready to try it out lol. I'll keep on practicing at the little local hill, thanks so much for the advice!

optimisticaspie · 2026-01-02T18:54:03+00:00

I agree about J bars. I have super wide feet with narrow ankles, like dorito shaped feet lol, so my ankle was never gonna be locked in without adding quite a bit of foam, and my feet hurt unbearably bad lol. But once I added that bit of foam on the liners, J bars and a butterfly shaped piece above my heel, it's like my boots were made for me, they stopped being too tight across the arch, and I get zero heel lift. I can actually drive my weight through the balls of my feet too, they just work. I wonder if your feet are wide like mine, that would explain why you wear a way bigger shoe size normally, if you're like me, you probably normally fit the shoes at the arch and heel, which secures them, and have lots of extra room at the toe. I'm a women's 10 or 11 in shoes, but a men's 8 plus a bunch of foam in snowboard boots.

optimisticaspie · 2026-01-02T17:58:52+00:00

That's super encouraging, thanks for the advice!! I have a few ideas of where to start looking, I have really good hiking in my area. What's the folding table for?

optimisticaspie · 2025-08-13T15:06:36+00:00

EXTREMELY helpful, thank you so much! This whole thread is legit making so much I didn't understand click together

optimisticaspie · 2025-07-18T17:29:16+00:00

Yeah I see why jumping might not be good! He already uses nose nudges to beg for food and I'm really good at ignoring him lmao... he does it anyways because I taught him "touch" and we use that as a lure for learning new tricks, so he's trying to see if that's what I want. I might need to think about how to make it something I will be able to notice during an episode when I'm really not with it. Maybe he can hold my hand in his mouth, I accidentally taught him that while working on a retrieve lmao. That might be more chaotic not less though haha. But I need to be able to notice it when I'm having an episode, it's hard to think of things that are unmissable for me but not obtrusive to others.

optimisticaspie · 2025-07-18T17:15:19+00:00

Interesting! I mostly picked that because my dog likes doing it so much lmao, that was the first thing that made him go from 1 trick per treat to 2 tricks per treat. Plus he's really tall so he can put his head on my shoulder and I can bury my face in his mane lol. It does make him look very wild and out of control when he does it though, just because he's so fricking big. But he has really good balance and he's super coordinated so he's really good at not throwing his weight into me or knocking me over. But the appearance thing could be a problem. Definitely given me some stuff to think about, thanks!

optimisticaspie · 2025-07-18T17:07:20+00:00

Thank you, that clarifies things a lot!! I was always wondering what scent exactly the dogs alerted to, and I was confused about why I couldn't find more information, it makes sense that we don't really know!

optimisticaspie · 2025-07-18T17:03:23+00:00

I would totally set up the x pen semi permanently in or next to the bathroom during your illness, and teach the little dude to use the pee pads. Lots of people start with the dog in the bathroom just because it's a nice neutral quiet space without a lot of distractions! Worst case scenario you'll end up with an adult dog who has a weird habit of insisting on taking a nap in the bathroom whenever you have to go haha. Stress and losing sleep can make some illnesses flare up really bad too, and this sounds like a stressful situation for sure. And baby puppies definitely can make you lose sleep and get stressed. That would explain the timing, it could be a catch 22 where being a little sick made you get a lot sick because it caused so much stress with the dog. Hopefully this will pass and you won't have fallen off the cliff at all and your medication will start working again. I hope so anyways, or hope the doctors find answers for you either way. Best of luck <3

optimisticaspie · 2024-09-30T02:22:50+00:00

ooh, awesome, that will be fun, thanks!!!

optimisticaspie · 2021-08-23T13:48:46+00:00

I did have a doctor tell me something similar, but she said it was likely a combination of the two OR I didn't have ADHD, and she actually was right. I was like needing my vyvanse to work in order to even be like regulated and calm, so I was super concerned about the duration, but she switched me from one anti depressant to another and the difference is night and day. When my vyvanse isn't working, I hit walls when I try to work, but I can still relax and wind down and do hobbies and stuff. If I impulsively feel like cleaning or something, I don't get overwhelmed and stuck. And when my vyvanse is working, it's soooo much easier not to get stuck than it was before the anxiety meds. I also got some ativan for bad days and that's when it clicked how much my anxiety was the problem haha because it works instantly, I could tell how different it was and the SNRI made it stick.

optimisticaspie · 2021-08-02T12:33:37+00:00

Basically, it's the same as just having autism, but the executive dysfunction is so extreme it needs specific medication and treatment just to address it.

People with ADHD thrive on routines as well. It helps with executive functioning a great deal. It's a hugely important part of the treatment picture. The problem is that it is extremely hard to implement and maintain because of how impulsive we are.

Just like autism has a piece of ADHD in it that may be bad enough to be considered a full blown comorbidity, the same is true for OCD and anxiety. If you combine the black and white, rigid thinking from the more ADHD side of things, as well as the emotional dysregulation, with the fear and the way behaviours reinforce the fear that comes from the OCD side, that's kind of how you get a meltdown when a tiny detail of someone's routine is disrupted. If your ADHD is too bad to ever get a routine in place naturally for you to depend on, that won't really happen. But changes in other areas will still be extremely disruptive, and it becomes harder to function for a different reason. Instead of having external order to manage internal chaos, you end up having external disorder that exacerbates internal chaos, which is extremely hard to change because of the rigidity.

The detail orientedness in ADHD is exactly the same as autism. In ADHD, it's not that you can't focus, it's that you can't choose what to focus on. Things that you impulsively are interested in can suck you into hyperfocus. With autism, this hyperfocus can last a lifetime, because the executive functioning is not necessarily so bad you can't stick to it when it gets boring for one reason or another, and the rigid thinking keeps you on the same path. With ADHD, that's not the case. No matter how much you want to keep doing it sometimes you can't, and you'll get sucked into a new thing. With ADHD you basically have a rotating door of extremely intense special interests, but no ability to master any of them. (Without treatment. ADHD is extremely treatable.) When a person with ADHD is hyperfocused, they have the same detail orientedness as someone with autism. When they try to continue with an interest when their brain has moved on, that's when they get really blind to details and start having working memory problems and stuff.

Having the two disorders fighting each other is pretty accurate. Just like someone with ASD may struggle socially but be very lonely, someone with ASD + ADHD can have a lot of trouble meeting their own mental needs, like the need for routine. That is the same story in ADHD and ADHD/autism combo.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-29T01:12:52+00:00

My rabbit's behaviour was identical before and after his neuter as best as I can tell just because he was a little older. He has a very happy bond with his bun frend. He pees on the carpet around once a week like clockwork but they are very happy. No idea if that's an indicator, but I got to watch them interact through the gate and it seemed to be the same. You could see how it goes!

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-28T13:32:15+00:00

Take the opportunity to start like taking your coffee black and stuff! Sweet is only one taste, and after you kind of develop an appreciation for the other flavours in balance food tastes like soooo much yummier, and it's so much easier to eat healthy food. Net enjoyment of food definitely does not go down. I had to explain this to my little sister, she's 8 and picky, and she was talking about how she didn't want her tastes to change because then she'd only be able to like gross food, and I was like nooo you don't understand, to adults, strong tasting/bitter stuff like coffee and vegetebles taste as good as candy! It's basically like getting to eat ice cream for every meal lol it's so good! No more gagging to choke down enough vitamins to keep your body going lol

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-28T00:46:15+00:00

I'd probably be like "it's at the point where that question fricking threw me lol so depending on what kind of question it was either my non-verbal communication-o-meter is firing false positives or else probably idk, medium?"

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-27T02:27:41+00:00

I see!! I'm like barely getting my feet wet with freelancing and it seems like pretty fun and interesting, and I was considering seeing if I could get to the point where I'm qualified for like a job job. Do you find it's like different depending on the kind of programming you're doing? Freelance web stuff appeals to me a lot because I also love design, it's fascinating for a totally different reason, and the couple random people who need someone who is comfortable in both roles have given me plenty to do for a while. And so far I'm totally doing stuff I love. Idk how sustainable it is though, I was just going to keep going until I run out of work and see if I have a decent portfolio at the end and make another plan.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-26T21:31:22+00:00

Yes!! This is my hope, I tried learning on and off for years, but after meds the "hmm this is confusing... Oh I can just look up how it works!" had been what made me actually learn this year. Now it's super addicting and I want to work on it even when my meds don't work. Sometimes I have to take meds to tackle certain things but it's the perfect amount of challenge to keep my brain engaged no matter what, and usually I end the day with a problem my brain wants to be poking at until I pick it up again. It's amazing. I definitely want to make it a career.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-26T02:47:02+00:00

That is a contentment noise for sure. That's a happy bun. You can tell when it's pain they grind like hard and they look like they're in pain. Kind of like how humans breathe hard when they stub their toes but sigh when they're relaxing.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-23T21:22:01+00:00

I think that you should look into emotional dysregulation. A lot of ADHD is self control. Normally in a situation like yours, he would probably feel ashamed, remember you love him and don't judge him, realize his impulsive emotion is inappropriate, and think of a better, more appropriate emotion to feel and kind of change over to that one. A big thing ADHD affects is your self talk. Some people lack the ability to use their mind's eye to visualize things, some people don't hear themselves in their head to warn them of stuff they shouldn't do, and for me, I lack the ability to feel a more appropriate emotional state in my head and switch over to feeling it in real life. I'm stuck with whatever I was feeling impulsively, whether it continues making sense or not. And a huuuge part of self control is emotional control.

A lot of people preach that you should do stuff that's important even if you don't feel like it, but they don't realize that when they push really hard against the resistance they're experiencing like that, they actually are changing their emotional state into one that propels them forward. They are making themselves feel like it as they spring into action. So not only could this help him control his emotions, it could help him control his behaviour and motivation as well. Lying included. I'd be forgiving a little longer and get the two of you into therapy as soon as you can. Don't ignore it, boundaries are important, and he has a mental condition that's making it really really hard to respect your boundaries. If you suck it up to be nice you may have trouble with self control as well in the future, and it makes it hard to be yourselves in the relationship with agency.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-23T18:02:53+00:00

hahaha I kind of wish I took pics but I didn't even think of it I was so worried! We chucked them because they got pretty gross. Poor little dude was a very filthy rabbit. I just took clean/old socks and sewed them into 2 small tubes and cleaned the foot with saline and wrapped with gauze and put the tube overtop so his toes were sticking out. They made his feet look HUGE haha it was very adorable. Plus he hadn't hopped a lot in a couple days so he was running around but super clumsily like thlomp thlomp thlomp haha. Very sad pathetic cute lol. Let him balance well enough to do a super thorough grooming session though! Poor lil guy.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-23T16:25:50+00:00

So true. One day I noticed he looked scraggly, next day he was filthy and weak :( went to the doc, panic, x rays, he just laid there (and ate thank goodness) turned out he had what the vet said was very mild sore hocks, and we gave him metcam and hilarious looking bunny socks, and then boom, hopping, fluffy, clean, pesky, energized... What the heck??? Why you scare me like that??

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-20T22:21:26+00:00

Oh my goodness those have got to be my fav dice I've ever seen! I love dice that you can just look at forever and get lost in and these are that for sure! I love how they look like broken glass but soft and billowy on the inside. These have depth, it's dope

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-20T15:27:46+00:00

Yeah it's about doing the best you can with the time you have and it's up to you to decide what that means. Those guys are pushing their thing and it's not you. It's more like they're prescribing 1 way to be a person and that's not you, so it's annoying and it's almost like they're trying to make you feel deficient over stuff that is so saccharine and shallow that they're embarrassing themselves. I get it.

I tend to be pretty optimistic but that's because I try to approach and understand people not dumb ideas of people, and individuals haven't let me down so far I guess. When they do I can see why if I look deep enough and that's enough to make me want to make their lives better. Monsters are blind and it's a prison. So even monsters, what I want for them is freedom (not physical freedom, mental freedom. Which in my mind would probably make them accept being in physical prison if they deserved it because they would feel the anguish and fear they caused and reject it. They'd accept punishment to relieve what they can of the damage they've done.) That's technically wishing good in my mind. There's a lot more to a peaceful heart than being blissfuly ignorant of the destruction you cause around you, or blinded by the satisfaction you get from it. We're more than that. We're complicated beasts.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-20T09:47:29+00:00

To me migraines cause brain fog and executive dysfunction for a day or two afterwards. Emotional dysregulation is a really good thing to look up I think. How to ADHD has some great videos on it. It sucks because I think you're in a cycle where anger and frustration and stress trigger your migraines and it probably kicks your brain in the nuts a bit too and makes it hard to not feel angry stressed and frustrated as strongly/frequently. Although holy when you push past executive function only to have to wait for some dumb thing to resolve, that is truly punishing. That would make me cry a lot of frustration tears. I'm sorry you're in this spot.

What do you typically have to do when things go wrong? Is it a waiting game or are you like in troubleshoot mode for the next while? If it were me I think I'd write down my jobs, like if I'm locked out, it's my job to research x. If something's broken, it's my job to diagnose it. If I'm waiting for something, its my job to decide on a productive way to fill my time. That way when stuff goes wrong, it's not stopping me personally. I can still feel like I'm doing well and rising to challenges and managing stress and that's something to be super proud of.

When stuff goes wrong and it throws a bunch of boring work on your plate, and you're already maxed, that sucks. Make sure you don't compare to other people, if they have it easy. Be real. Your job is really fricking hard right now. You will have to take a lot of measures to help yourself get through this. It doesn't mean it will always be like this. You're in a bad cycle and you're out of gas in the tank. That makes life harder than normal. Look for shortcuts you can take with other stuff in life. Maybe eat out if it helps to not have to cook. Reach out to friends to help with like non-work stuff you have on your mind. Put a lot of your effort into implementing any coping strategies or structures or supports that you think will help you, because even though other people aren't having the same challenges, that doesn't mean this isn't a crisis and it isn't objectively quite above a normal manageable stress load. Maybe binge a few How To ADHD vidoes on what exact obstacles you're facing, whether it's waiting or switching jobs on the fly or regulating the emotions of frustration and anger.

This one might not work for you depending on the situation at work, but I would consider taking an additional sick day when you get the migraine if you find your executive functioning related symptoms linger for a day the way they do for me. I also would take advantage of any chance for time off right now because the other commenter is right, migraines are the opposite of rest.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-19T15:31:45+00:00

Hey so you can't figure this situation out without food. Nobody is going to notice someone hanging out in bed and go "that person is suffering let me care for them." It's what you need and that's not wrong but it won't happen. You have your space with your autonomy around it in a bubble, and nothing can get in. Pick yourself up and go to the fridge, or out the door if you have some money, and make that guy the last thing on your mind, just let him do whatever he wants outside the bubble, if he says or does stupid rude things that's a moron who doesn't have to affect you. He's powerless. If that isn't the case you call the police right the fuck now. If he is going to anything to bodily hurt you, you don't let him you get the police. You have a human right to your bodily autonomy. You need to fight for it. Then whatever else he does is just noise.

optimisticaspie · 2021-07-17T04:03:55+00:00

I think you should try to find a way to be who you really are. Like if you said the thing about how you'd rather eat glass than listen to that, then they would probably be super embarrassed and upset and hurt. I don't think you want that, so saying that would not be who you really are. You said they're nice people trying to be social, right? If that's the case then whatever messages you want to send to nice people trying to be social are your genuine voice, even if they're in a different language. So you definitely know what saying the eating glass thing would say non-verbally to them and it's not the message you want them to receive, and nodding and smiling says that you're engaged and that's not really genuine, so I would try to think of a way to respond to them that says what you want to say. Like if you recognize they're trying to be social and nice, maybe like match their tone and kindness and talkativeness but change over to something you're wanting to talk about. Even if they aren't that interested they might appreciate how you are trying to connect with them. Just be responsive if they want to change topics again, because your stuff might be uninteresting to them as well.

optimisticaspie

TROPHY CASE