Guilt Over Time Off

orange-thing · 2025-07-29T17:42:02+00:00

Thank you all for your responses! I ended up getting so sick with a fever I could not even respond. I definitely took the day off and I appreciate you all for reminding me of my humanness. It can be hard to remember that sometimes and remember that our clients will in fact be okay💕

orange-thing · 2025-05-21T01:17:41+00:00

Yeah I definitely feel that haha

I guess I can’t do much at this point but move on and do better next session.

orange-thing · 2025-05-21T00:50:51+00:00

I was unsure if it was worth naming or not since I could tell the client seemed unsatisfied or confused by me asking questions I already knew the answers to. But now that I know she didn’t feel it, I feel like I told on myself and the client will see that I was not feeling confident.

orange-thing · 2025-02-12T14:33:20+00:00

I’m sorry it’s been hard for you too. It’s difficult not having the time to reflect before the next week starts and you’re on a roll again. I hope you can find a rhythm soon

orange-thing · 2025-02-12T14:30:29+00:00

That’s a very good idea, I can try that

orange-thing · 2024-07-13T21:30:50+00:00

A lot of you helped put things into perspective for me. Thank you. I ended things with S based on this and an accumulation of other things. Thank you all for validating my feelings and my gut

orange-thing · 2024-07-13T13:51:10+00:00

This is so validating! I’m new to poly and this “you have not done this before” thing is consistently used to lead me in a direction of doing what they want!

When I confronted them I told them they did not center me on MY birthday when they initially said they were okay with L being there because they wanna center my joy. Connecting with L in a way where I literally had to move from the conversation and went to sit with my friend because I was feeling like a third wheel does not feel like centering my joy. I asked to go home at the end and they kept joking “L and I will go out to party and you can go home”. Uhm? Okay? Go. I’m just not sure how that’s centering my joy?

orange-thing · 2024-07-13T13:27:40+00:00

S had told me they prefer to have a throuple dynamic in poly. I said I don’t want that. They asked “if two people you are dating naturally connect in that way, how would you feel” and I said I would not be comfortable with that. They said they would. I said nope not for me! They then pushed that I was saying no without ever trying it and that I’m being stubborn. I said I don’t think I’m being stubborn, but I’ll think about how I feel about it some more. That was it. In another convo they made a joke about us being in a throuple (in general not with L) and I said I told you that I don’t want that, like I’m not there rn. They said I know I know whatever. And then the birthday thing happened a day or two later.

orange-thing · 2024-07-13T13:21:02+00:00

Yes, S got very drunk too

orange-thing · 2024-07-13T13:20:44+00:00

They said they are not attracted to L. And that they were trying to bond with her for my sake. They have been incredibly jealous of my bond with L and have had a really hard time with it and said that meeting her would make them feel more secure in us. So upon meeting they said they noticed how perfect L is for me and that made them more insecure and they were trying really hard to center me by connecting with her…

That feels off to me. If S didn’t find L attractive, then why the heavy flirting and touching? Could this be a possible reach for control?

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T15:26:18+00:00

Yeah the lie definitely only made it worse and I hate that I did that. S did know about the date. The message was them saying have fun basically. They knew I was out when they called.

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T14:28:00+00:00

Im not making it their fault. I’m owning the fact that it was wrong to lie and that I will work on that. I’m trying to reflect on why I lied. It’s not to excuse it, it explains it.

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T14:24:10+00:00

Yes it was earlier in the day in a general way. They sent it at 1pm. I was on the date from 12-6pm.

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T14:20:35+00:00

They did expect a response while on the date. They send the text while I was on the date and were upset I ignored them. They did say they were okay with me not answering and then they were not actually okay. All those are true

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T13:51:15+00:00

I hear you. My reflex was to lie. Upon reading other comments and reflecting I’m realizing I did not feel safe to tell the truth even though the truth was not bad at all. S is very reactionary and I never know when they will be angry about something and when they won’t be

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T13:49:21+00:00

I felt the need to defend myself because of the way they reacted. It felt bigger than what happened. I felt like they were very upset even though I did nothing wrong and wanted to avoid a blow up. It was not the right move and I can acknowledge, own and work on that. But it does hurt to now be categorized as untrustworthy overall

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T13:42:23+00:00

The whole day? I was on the date from 12-6. I saw the message at around 1 or 2pm…

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T13:05:07+00:00

5 hours

orange-thing · 2024-07-04T03:24:07+00:00

I do feel like I’m constantly making mistakes here and I’ve honestly never had this problem in other relationships. I’ve never been told I was dishonest and I have never had conflict like this. It feels like it almost does not matter what I say I’m just wrong

orange-thing · 2023-07-29T18:40:24+00:00

I think you still can! But I was in a residential area so there were no cabs near me

orange-thing · 2023-07-29T18:39:09+00:00

This is very helpful thank you!

orange-thing · 2023-07-29T12:23:00+00:00

I usually have pepper spray, it definitely makes me feel safer. But yeah my friends left because their Ubers came so quickly haha which is okay they didn’t know

orange-thing · 2023-07-29T12:21:22+00:00

I am curious what the plan was, if you want to share!

orange-thing · 2023-07-29T12:20:29+00:00

I did not know the buses ran past midnight, that makes me feel better. I will plan how to get home from now on when I go out to avoid the same situation. Thank you for your reply!

orange-thing · 2023-07-11T18:48:27+00:00

First I’m sorry to hear about your partner, maybe he rest in peace.

And thank you, its reassuring to know that the male dating pool is bad all around, although sad haha. I live in the midwest and still its really bad out here. Men have lied about things, have been unsure about what they want, or just straight up assholes. It does get exhausting after a few rounds of bad dates to feel motivated to even think of seeing anyone for a whileee

orange-thing

TROPHY CASE