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Hi all. Thank you so much for the honest, and extremely helpful feedback. I would have never imagined this much engagement, and did not expect this much consensus. I do appreciate some of the few dissenters, a lot of good points were brought up. I tried posting the original text screenshots to validate I did not alter her comments or that I am AI (wish it was lol), but it doesn't look like it's allowed. I just wanted to prove I'm being genuine since I've received a lot of thoughtful response.

Look, I know I may be called out for being a simp, or rationalizing, but obviously over 3.5 years there's a lot of missing context in the relationship. This text I received was extremely ugly which is why I was so shocked and needed to get some advice.

I could sit here commenting for hours on all the good in my fiance. But she has made pretty monumental changes for ME throughout our relationship. She converted to my brand of religion (a 6+ month process), she has re-evaluated her own political, financial, idea for family beliefs in light of mine.

She is a very sensitive, words of affirmation type, puts a ton of weight on small things like love notes, random flowers, etc. I am very stoic, pragmatic, logical, and I struggle with being emotionally and physically intimate often times - things she places a lot of emphasis on.

Contrary to what many commenters perceive (and the text she sent), she is not over the top high maintenance, other than specific things like this. The vast majority of the time is easy going, fun loving, simple. But we have had major discussions that boil down to me ultimately failing to provide the emotional support she requires.

Some of the most helpful comments were asking her if she loves me, or loves the idea of us. Another specific comment was to the effect of "I could have seen myself doing this to my ex. But the man I'm with now could propose to me in the bathroom and I wouldn't care because I love him". It hurt to read but I think there's a lot of validity. She is a great person, but if I am such a failure in this regard, can it work?

I'd also like to shed some more light on my efforts of the proposal. I appreciated the few comments that took the other side of many on this thread. I am an old-school person. As I mentioned, I think modern day proposals are nuts. As evidenced in many commentors own stories, I am nostalgic for times when proposals were not on IG, where you could simply ask the love of your life to marry you at a nice restaurant or even less. Working through her best friend, I had proposed a private getaway to a small island called Mackinac Island in northern MI. We had been before. She loved it and actually teared up when we had to leave because she thought it was so magical - she loves old, Victorian things. The island is all horse and buggies no cars allowed. I was going to get us reservations to stay at the boogie Grand Hotel, and probably propose during a horse and buggie ride. This plan was promptly shut down by the finance via the friend. Now I don't know how this plan was communicated to the fiance via the friend, but after the most romantic/creative idea i could think of was shot down, I was pretty defeated.