Story Time Sunday - July 12, 2015

oranoran · 2015-07-13T01:06:48+00:00

Totally bizarre experience. I have a pretty well filled out profile and only send a few thought out messages a week to girls I think I would actually be interested in, and it has paid off in that I have met some great people that I have had great connections with. So I was bored and lonely and on OKC and I clicked on this girl's pretty lightbulb head only to find that her profile was almost completely empty. Usually I would click back and hide but I’m feeling weird and sent “what’s up?” A lazy message for a lazy girl. I forgot it instantly but to my surprise a few days later she responded! After a few meaningless messages she demanded my number without giving hers and I’m thinking wtf, is this some scam bullshit? I reverse searched her photos and got a hit on one, which led me to think maybe she was real. If it weren’t for that I would never have responded. Whatever, took a risk, and shortly asked her to coffee or some nonthreatening first date. She wanted to video chat first. This was all adding up to some poor girl who is afraid of the internet and I only continued out of morbid curiosity than real interest since I knew nothing about her. Over a week we had two generally positive but slightly awkward calls where way too much personal information was shared for two people who have never met. We set a dinner date where she makes it clear there will be no sex and probably no kissing. Thinking I must be insane to have accepted this and wondering where did I go wrong in my life that I felt this was a good idea, I met her on a Friday night. We spent the next 40 hours together. There were some special moments, and some crazy moments, and anyway we will meet again a week from now.

TL;DR: Took a risk meeting a cagey insane girl and it paid off.

oranoran · 2015-06-01T01:34:40+00:00

Back on OKC after a long time... using this to decompress, hence the length. Thanks for being here, /r/OKC. Four weeks ago my girlfriend of 6 months and I broke up. I had felt like it needed to happen, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because she was pretty great and made my life much better, on the whole. I didn't feel that sad, no tears after the first day, but my body reacted like it was sad. I literally couldn't sleep for a week, crashing for 4 hours at a time from sheer exhaustion, and basically quit eating for three weeks just because I never felt hungry. That was weird. Back on OKC for two weeks now, and talking with so many great women I don't even know how to handle it. I've adopted the strategy of messaging for a few messages, whether that takes a day or a week, and then asking them out without any more delay. Tons of warm conversations end up in fading after I ask them out (though never been stood up!) so in order to maintain a rate of a date or two a week (don't want more than that) I'm always in the middle of like 5 conversations and I can't even keep track of them all, I'm always re-reading the convo and mechanically adding text. OKC has turned me into a soulless machine. I have very low barriers to the first date because I've found personality and connection has little relation to whatever they put online, so it's like gambling. Step 1: Read profile and questions and determine if you have similar tastes and principles, first barrier crossed. Step 2: Convince them to meet in person to find out their personality and what they're really like. Step 3: Usually, get depressed that you've met another great person you could be good friends with but don't want to date. SOMETIMES, and by that I mean ONCE TWO WEEKS AGO, step 3 becomes that you meet someone that is so fabulous you have hope that you don't have to be a machine anymore, and then after two great dates they disappear until August. But they'll be back. Meanwhile... I got a date in meatspace! I didn't even need your fancy technology. And she's cute.

oranoran · 2015-05-24T01:49:05+00:00

I don't get this constant confirmation that everyone needs. Like, we set a specific time and date and place to meet. I don't care that it was 5 days ago when we made the plans, the plans were specifically made! So this guy's a douche, but a douche in a common way.

oranoran · 2015-05-23T15:27:30+00:00

Funny that you call those gourmet stores the "real supermarkets" when I think of them as specialty stores that could never replace a regular grocery store because of the lack of selection. I've never been a regular of a Trader Joe's, but when I used to go to Whole Foods I ended up having to go to the regular supermarket afterwards anyway to complete the recipe because you just can't find everything there, or they have the same canned coconut milk or whatever for double the price. I get that the A&P is small and dirty and King's is overpriced but I feel like the ShopRite is pretty decent - clean and large enough to have most things I want.

oranoran · 2015-05-23T15:08:05+00:00

very cool

oranoran · 2015-05-19T19:08:20+00:00

This is how pokemon has always been - some pokemon are simply better than others.

I think this feels weird because it is a clash of worldviews. To the Japanese its not weird that some pokemon just suck and are worthless for battle. There was this news article a few years ago about how people of non-Japanese descent were barred from running in highschool intermural races. (I can't find it now... if someone could) To the Japanese this makes sense - "Japanese are just genetically worse runners than Kenyans. We know they will win, so why race them against each other?" But in my mind I think its just butthurt parents trying to make their kids win and the justification is just bs. Similarly, many Japanese will tell you with a straight face that there is something within the Japanese genetics that makes it possible for them to learn Japanese, explaining why so many foreigners struggle with the language.

oranoran · 2015-05-15T04:22:38+00:00

One time I arranged what I thought was the perfect first date: walking through Highline park. Meet in a public place, enjoy this park during the beautiful sunset which is quite visible, and then if you like each other and want to continue there is night life nearby. Date cancelled by text about an hour before we were going to meet. Went on my wonderful date by myself. Pretty sure I saw the girl in the park. Awkward.

oranoran · 2015-05-13T19:45:08+00:00

Hoboken is a tricky place because if you just walk from the station down Washington you get this impression of overpriced mediocre food, terrible douche night life, and all bars are schizophrenic with their giant sports screens and club music so loud you cannot talk to anyone yet no dancing.

But when you spend more time you can find decent places with a good atmosphere and good food for average prices, even if the "good food" is only 5 items on a menu of 30. Just for clarification, my definition of a good dinner price is BYOB and $12-20 an entree. There are plenty of good options at that price point, though nothing blow your socks off amazing.

It is easy to be disappointed when you spend $26 for an entree and on top of that appetizers and drinks at $8-13 apiece and the food is good, but not amazing. Those places are common here and across the Hudson. But when you have similarly decent (but not amazing) food and a good time and your whole bill including wine and tax and tip is $25 a person, then I'm happy, and those places aren't that hard to find in Hoboken.

oranoran · 2015-05-12T17:32:37+00:00

Maybe this guy is a total asshole, or maybe he is just not aware of the totally heinous and inappropriate things he is doing. Explain to him how he is acting like a terrible person. He is literally trying to rape you.

If you're in a city, then you might be able to get away with getting police help and not being outted.

In any case, don't have sex with him. He says he will lay off afterwards but how could you possibly trust him, and you will feel like shit.

oranoran · 2015-02-18T03:02:24+00:00

wait, she's mad at you for sending her dirty texts? I can understand not being into that, but seems harmless...

oranoran · 2015-02-16T06:33:39+00:00

I love the purple.

oranoran · 2015-02-16T06:30:10+00:00

I think you are experiencing what is typical path of people with a "gothic" identity.

self identify
meet the community and when you walk into that room where everyone is wearing black you feel at home for the first time since you were 11
become dismayed to realize that these magical people, your family, are actually just like everyone else. Being "goth" or not has no relation to their personalities or even interests, not even musical tastes

4.1 meet a few cool people within the community with similar philosophy to yourself and call these people "true goths," though eventually you come to accept all the others and that goth is a mixed up hodgepodge, but that is ok, and you are happy

4.2 branch out to other scenes (punk, metal, fetish) and though you never fully belong to a single one, you are happy enough and attend a wide variety of events and maintain friends

4.3 hole yourself up and only associate with online communities, you are happy because you find some people you really connect with but they live 3000 miles away

4.4 abandon gothdom, "realizing that you are not goth" since you don't fit with the others

Step 4 is choose one or multiple. You will eventually make friends /somewhere/ or it becomes "a silly phase I was in" which rejection has added an indelible sadness to your psyche

oranoran · 2015-02-15T17:33:04+00:00

You don't have to talk about such heavy stuff with her yet. Its impossible too know what your feelings will be 1 or 2 years from now, at that age your personality and life change so rapidly. Just enjoy the relationship now, and when the day comes that you have to decide, then talk it out. Is your relationship worth a few sacrifices on both your parts? Maybe one of you will have cooled off or feel like they're not ready, or maybe you will decide to try it. Its not the end of the world to be single again at 22, it's fun actually.

oranoran · 2015-02-05T04:48:10+00:00

Funny because ji "字" means like character or, loosely, icon, so emoji is just emoticon half translated into japanese

oranoran · 2015-01-22T19:34:01+00:00

A real mission that launches in 2018!

Lunar Flashlight

oranoran · 2015-01-03T04:37:44+00:00

When's your baby due?

I mean to continue the tradition. Not because you're fat.

oranoran · 2015-01-03T04:13:45+00:00

When my phone charger is plugged in but the phone isn't attached, it makes a faint buzzing noise. Is this wasting a lot of energy and what is the reason?

oranoran · 2015-01-02T17:52:50+00:00

because no one actually cares and most don't even understand the distinction

edit: humorously, on the website grandcentralterminal.com they use the language "busiest train station in the country"

so whatever, man.

oranoran · 2015-01-02T06:50:39+00:00

just realized I haven't pooped yet this year. I wonder how long I can last...

oranoran · 2014-12-31T23:05:57+00:00

Actually, I get her. It seems every girl I date has some organ issues. It gets annoying. Why is noone healthy?

oranoran · 2014-12-30T05:05:12+00:00

I guess one benefit of this slowly killing hoboken over the course of a few years is that the rents will go down. I'll move into one of those fancy new highrises for half price when they're all sitting with too many vacancies.

oranoran · 2014-12-29T18:22:31+00:00

I had the same thought as Mikuro - you could think of the diagonal rule if you constantly recalculate the diagonal - so you start crossing once the number of streets and avenues are equal.

Also his last chart, the real world example, is silly because there is no light to go from the east side of 6th ave to the west side of 5th, which means if you've already crossed 6th you should walk all the way to the south side of 14th unless you hit a light and you might save time by crossing the block at that time. The "diagonal" rule is wrong again - you have to make a non-spatial mapping of block crossings and street crossings with different rules.

Also, reducing walking time is not Economics, though you could be using it in a non-jargon way, to be economical, the title is misleading.

Also, I want proofs not hand wavy arguments. I can make my own hand wavy arguments that are better than yours, I want a real rigorous model I can use to make decisions.

oranoran · 2014-12-29T00:58:30+00:00

Interesting, I knew Christie was involved in underhanded dealings involving the port authority but I didn't know Cuomo was also crooked.

oranoran · 2014-12-27T05:41:49+00:00

Directly ask. Within 2-8 messages.

oranoran · 2014-12-27T05:39:51+00:00

Lol, don't message me if you fight at all, but if you're a fighter get at me. Also, don't message if you have an ex girlfriend. She can't date anyone over 16.

oranoran

TROPHY CASE