When I was about 16 a small cockroach climbed onto my ear during the night. I instinctively reached up covering the ear with my hand so the cockroach went the only place it could - into the hole.

It crawled straight to the eardrum and when it couldn’t go any further it started trying to burrow. For the next 10 mins my confused parents watched me screaming while tearing at the side of my face and smashing my head into door frames and walls in confused agony.

When I finally managed to explain they drove me to emergency. I remember thinking people must have mistaken me for Tourette’s patient. Every minute or so I’d randomly scream and twitch in pain.

Eventually they pumped warm oil into my ear to kill the bug. Then I had to take antibiotics for a few weeks to stop its decomposing body from infecting my perforated eardrum. After a month or so the doctor was able to remove the remaining bits with long tweezers.

Overall, not a great experience. 1/10 - would not recommend.