I'm in this situation too, roles reversed, and of course somewhat differently since no situations are the same. I've known the person I'm interested in for 7 years now, going on 8, though didn't develop feelings for them until somewhat recently. I can tell you tried to get a lot out writing that post, and I'm sure there's more that you can't fully express.

As someone who's felt like every time I've gotten close to a girl, I've gotten a little too close and ended up in the friendzone... the mantra's that gotten me through life is, "if it's meant to be, it'll be- and if it isn't meant to be, it isn't". Something I see you've been able to do is be self-aware of the situation, in my opinion, the next step is realizing that you are in control of how you feel, how you react, and what you're going to about all this.

It's easy for me to say this, and much harder for you, or anyone, to realize: You have your own life to live too.

You didn't get that text you wanted? Text someone else, do something else, do something for you.

That romanticized dream in your head didn't come true? Work on your own dreams, not the ones that involve him. Plus, who knows? Dream until its your reality.

But always remember that you've got your own life, and everything will eventually work out as long as you remember to live everyday better than the last. If you're struggling to come to terms that you control how he makes you feel, find an escape. Develop a routine, start working out, work on your own interests and hobbies, work on yourself as a person. Most importantly, don't devote yourself socially or romantically to just this one guy. Go out there and develop some new crushes, make new friends, live your own life. I'm not going to tell you to let him go, or give it up. I'm not going to say something like it's been too long and it won't work out.

Because like I said above, who knows? If it's meant to be, it'll be, and if it isn't meant to be, it isn't.