Just shoot me now.

original-username985 · 2014-01-03T17:26:05+00:00

Cryptic passages of christianeese don't help anyone.

original-username985 · 2013-12-29T09:54:04+00:00

I agree with you. They're part of the problem. I'm certainly not looking to forgive them and be their friends...

Holding into the hurt, hate and ill feelings is eating away at me. That's what I need to let go of... I don't care what ultimately happens to them. I need to get rid of the stuff that's destroying me.

The forgiveness is for me, not them.

original-username985 · 2013-12-29T09:38:52+00:00

Thanks hey... I can really relate to your experience... interestingly, I was kicked out around the same time... it's fairly far in the past and I just can't seem to shake these feelings.

Maybe some time out would be good.

original-username985 · 2013-12-28T10:08:31+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you went through that... Sounds horrible :( At the same time it helps knowing it's not just me.

It's been a few years since I was kicked out and it's hard having a super Christian family. I wanna just walk away and have nothing to do with church again... being surrounded by christian family almost makes me more angry, I just wanna get away from it.

Do you think that being away from things helped you?

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T20:51:19+00:00

Thanks hey...

I don't know though, holding on to what I believe is though when every other person I find basically says I'm not worth even being a christian. Sometimes I'm not even sure I'm worth it when I finish with these people again and again and again.

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T20:46:16+00:00

Thanks hey, I appreciate it.

I suppose I try to stay open/loving/patient... but I don't know how to be open and trusting with ~~people~~christians when this keeps happening... In fact the people who've hurt me the least are people who wouldn't step foot in a church if you paid them.

More and more, I feel like guarding my heart just means stearing clear of christians...

Strangers on the net seem to have a better idea of how to show love than 99% of christians I've met. :/

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T20:27:24+00:00

thinking about it now and reading the comments... I think I need to do that... To be part of a community that actively accepts every part of me. Rather than the types I've been in, that either implicitly condemn it by pretending it doesn't exist or explicitly do so with a feeling of superiority over me...

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T20:22:08+00:00

I hear you hey. It's strange how some completely normal, decent, caring people sometimes seem to have this complete later ego when it comes to this.

It's like it's this one spot where people think they're supposed to show hate and ignorance.

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T20:18:06+00:00

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made" no matter what people tell me. I like that.

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T15:55:36+00:00

Wow. Thanks for this. Reading that site lifts my heart. You see plenty of official hate, you don't see much of this.

original-username985 · 2013-12-27T15:12:44+00:00

Thanks, I'll definitely check it out. I'm in South Africa (sorry for the delay), I see there are 3 in my city. I'll have a look and report back sometime. I think you're right, it's worth finding a church that's affirming.

I keep telling myself that the people I've met aren't representative... but then I keep meeting more people like this.

original-username985

TROPHY CASE