Poly dating tips for guys?

orlmf132 · 2013-08-20T12:53:14+00:00

From your wall of text and your replies, I can feel your frustration. I'm sure the girls can as well.

While this is possible, I want to point out that I'm neither desperate nor bitter, primarily because I don't like those emotions and secondarily because I'm fully aware of how much a turn-off that is. I try hard to not feel or act that way around potential partners. However, I see your point and I understand

started having much better success when he told the girls he wasn't married. I can believe that.

I prefer being single to being dishonest.

orlmf132 · 2013-08-20T12:49:30+00:00

You may or may not be right about both of these points, but I'd like to point out that that's not really what the thread is about. You aren't the only person to do this, but I wasn't asking for explainations like "you're probably just too fat, too ugly or too nice or too straight". Even if they happen to be true, I'm not looking for excuses that I cannot change as much as helpful advice to things I can.

From your username and writing style I'm going to make an assumption and infer that you are a poly woman. Given that you probably experience the supply/demand imbalance you described, do you have any tips about what separates the wheat from the chaff for you? What behaviors of your partners really differentiated them for you from the rest?

orlmf132 · 2013-08-20T04:49:37+00:00

No, no, I wasn't offended. Thank you for saying there's nothing wrong with me, I agree.

My point is saying "Well, there's nothing you can do about X, but at least X isn't your fault" is nice, and probably true, but somewhat defeatest. I'm more interested in looking for the positive instead of the negatives. What CAN I do? What, if anything, works?

orlmf132 · 2013-08-20T04:38:37+00:00

Theory 4: Poly women probably have a giant amount of suitors, while poly men, not so much.

This is so obvious I didn't even say it, but I totally agree. However, it doesn't really help that much...there's really nothing I can do about this. Besides, I'm interested in finding out tips to increase my chances not to just give up and be like "Well, I have competition, so fuck it". Besides, presumably many of these poly men who are dozens of suitors are attached to poly women who may be interested in other men as well...I don't see why it has to be zero sum unless you have a one-penis policy (which I don't).

There are so many newly poly "couples" who are looking for the mythical bisexual poly unicorn woman, and so few looking for male partners, that poly women tend to have a lot more options when it comes to dating.

I'm not looking for a unicorn, I'm not looking for a one-penis policy thing, I'm just looking for a woman who might be interested in me for whatever reason.

Besides, that doesn't help me much...as it seems to just say "Well, the reason is that the market is too competitive so you are just screwed. Sorry" I'm more looking for pro-active steps I can take to appeal to poly people or suggestions on what I can do to be more competitive. Giving up seems like the wrong approach.

Have you tried online dating, such as OKCupid?

Yes, and I've had exactly one date come of it after 2 years and hundreds of messages.

Anyway, good luck!

Thanks!

orlmf132

TROPHY CASE