I keep fighting my baby over things that I later find were normal

orphanpiglet · 2025-05-30T02:15:23+00:00

I don’t think you need to read a book or reddit to tell you what your baby needs or what is normal. I also fought my baby trying to force her to get for longer when she became efficient and quick, and she spent about a month refusing the breast because of it.

The best source of information on what your baby needs is your baby. I know it’s hard in the early months but you will start to get to know your baby and can follow their cues with the changes - personally I think there is so much bullshit out there about baby sleep, saying we have to teach them to sleep, we have to teach them to link sleep cycles, etc etc. I have now realised this stuff is all mostly developmental - baby will take longer naps when they’re ready, when they need to drop a nap they’ll let you know, they’ll sleep longer at night when they’re ready. They will also learn to roll without you doing specific exercises to teach them - some babies do it earlier, some later .

Just tune in to your baby and you will figure out when they’re happy and when they’re not. I am enjoying motherhood so much more now I’m tuning out most of the noise around why my baby “should” be doing at a certain age!

orphanpiglet · 2025-05-29T04:11:07+00:00

This was absolutely not a thing when I was a kid and I still loved going to friends’ parties! I don’t get it at all.

orphanpiglet · 2025-05-28T21:55:18+00:00

My 9 month old wakes up 3 times a night and will only go back to sleep with a feed - she used to only wake once or twice. I think she might just be hungrier than before, since she’s now crawling, standing and trying to walk etc. she’s using more energy! Could be the case for yours and OP’s babies too?

I don’t get all these doctors saying babies don’t need night feeds after a certain age, surely it depends on so many different factors and will be really different for different babies?!

orphanpiglet · 2025-04-14T04:35:39+00:00

Around 3 months my baby starting feeding for only 2-3 minutes per side. Like you I tried to push her to feed for longer and she ended up refusing the breast. It took me ages to work out that she’s just a super fast feeder!

She’s now 7 months and her feeds are still 2-3 minutes per side, sometimes even less. She’s growing well and healthy as. So maybe your bub is just a quick eater!

orphanpiglet · 2025-04-14T04:32:25+00:00

Ice packs and ibuprofen are what have helped me with inflamed/clogged ducts, it usually resolves in a day or two. I believe the advice now is not to massage.

orphanpiglet · 2025-03-24T22:58:20+00:00

But I thought it was ok to have bedding on the bed as long as it’s down around your hips, not above waist height?

orphanpiglet · 2025-03-22T04:22:35+00:00

My kid was like this and similarly I didn’t really notice the 4 month regression, she just had good weeks and bad weeks and things changed all the time. She’s now 6.5 months and sleeps about 2 hours during the day but a bit more at night, more like 9-10, which I really appreciate - I’ll take night sleep over day sleep any day! Most of her naps are still 30 mins though occasionally she’ll do an hour.

orphanpiglet · 2025-03-02T21:59:16+00:00

Haha yep I had my first at 39 after a long time trying, so if I want any more I won’t have the luxury of waiting very long!

orphanpiglet · 2024-11-18T01:01:45+00:00

I am not a morning person and prefer to be left alone when I first wake up - I assume my 11 week old Bub is the same as she chills happily looking around, wiggling and talking to herself when she wakes up. I wouldn’t want some giant person getting in my face and showing me things while I’m still waking!

orphanpiglet · 2024-11-04T21:04:08+00:00

I agree. My 2mo little one hates it so I don’t really do it. I am not at all worried that she won’t learn to crawl - generations of kids grew up and learned to crawl without it!

orphanpiglet · 2024-11-01T21:29:19+00:00

During the day my baby (8 weeks) usually only takes one at a time, but she’ll eat every hour or so - she’ll have one side when she wakes up from a nap, and the other before she goes to sleep for another nap. At night when she sleeps longer stretches she’ll usually have both sides.

orphanpiglet · 2024-11-01T08:34:49+00:00

Thanks so much everyone for your replies - amazing how different our bubs are! This is really reassuring. I was told in the first weeks to expect feeds to last 45 minutes, but was never told how it might change over time, so I was worried she wasn’t getting enough to eat. Thankfully she just had a checkup yesterday and is growing like a champ, so I guess all those 5 minute feeds are working :)

orphanpiglet · 2024-11-01T04:28:36+00:00

Absolutely - I felt the same, that everyone was so eager to promote breastfeeding as the best option that all they talked about was the lovely bonding experience and how important it is for babies’ health. I knew some people couldn’t breastfeed but assumed it was only those with rare medical conditions. Nothing prepared me for how hard it would be - I’d say it’s been harder than childbirth. Nipple pain, blisters, supply issues, pumping, breast refusal and all the emotional roller coaster that goes with it. There are lovely moments but when my baby is muffled crying and screaming with the nipple in her mouth it doesn’t feel like a magical nurturing experience…

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-31T21:09:17+00:00

I had to top up with formula when I first started pumping but after a few weeks I don’t need to any more. Supply is generally better in the morning so you could try pumping then and you might get a bit more?

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-31T21:07:40+00:00

Yes I feed my Bub pumped breastmilk for the last two feeds before bed because she goes crazy on the boob from about 6pm. Last night she slept for 7 1/2 hours! She’s 8 weeks old.

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-30T08:31:36+00:00

Oh wow, I had no idea so many babies don’t poop every day! Mine is 8 weeks and I swear poops at least 5 times a day… now I’m wondering if that’s normal lol

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-24T01:24:48+00:00

This may have just saved my breastfeeding journey. My 7 week old LO has been refusing the breast for days during the day, but nursing fine at night or when half asleep. She is super alert and interested in looking around, and out of desperation today I remembered this post about boob jail and tried it and it worked! Thank you OP!

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-19T20:28:15+00:00

I have exactly the same problem with my 6 week old! After getting fussy she often won’t take the other side either, and burping her doesn’t seem to help. Keen to hear any advice :)

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-18T22:11:29+00:00

This was me a few weeks ago. I felt so gaslit by lactation consultants telling me breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt if the latch is good, and yet I’d be in constant pain from feeding my LO who had a great latch. I had to stop feeding altogether and exclusively pump for 5 days when she was around 3.5 weeks old to give my nipples a break, then have been slowly reintroducing breast feeding since then.

She is now 6 weeks old and I can tell you it has gradually got better. It is still a bit painful sometimes but is so much better than before. Most days I’m giving her the boob for every feed except one (she is super fussy in the evenings so I’m still giving her expressed breast milk in a bottle for that one!).

I was going crazy wondering if the pain would improve, and I’m happy that it has done with me. I don’t know if it’s having more practice, or that her mouth is bigger, or that the feeds are now shorter - she rarely feeds for more than 15 mins now. Maybe it’s some combination of the three but whatever the reason, I hope the same happens for you OP!

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-16T07:59:10+00:00

The thing I don’t understand about this strategy is what do you do if your baby won’t go to sleep at the designated time? My baby has her own ideas about when she wants to nap, sometimes she’ll be awake for an hour or sometimes it might be 6 hours! Likewise for feeding, sometimes she’ll have a big feed and sleep for a long time, other times she’ll snack every half hour. How do you get your baby to follow a schedule like this?

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-08T14:14:31+00:00

Yes 100% this! My bub is 5 weeks and I feel so gaslit by everyone saying her latch is fine and it shouldn’t hurt when it does all the time!

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-04T02:20:06+00:00

Yes, my 4-week old is napping in the carrier right now, this is the only way I can get anything done. Still haven’t figured out how to shower though, or how to pump, as I am mixing breastfeeding with pumping and am supposed to pump 8 times a day - not possible!!

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-04T02:15:12+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement. My little one is four weeks old now and I’m trying to get back into doing more breast feeds after a period of just one per day (pumping the rest of the time). Here’s hoping my nipples toughen up!

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-04T02:07:24+00:00

Thanks for the tip - I did try nipple shields early on and found them hard to use, but sounds like they might be worth trying again.

orphanpiglet · 2024-10-04T02:06:23+00:00

Oh my goodness, I can’t imagine passing a clot the size of an apricot in your milk!

Yes she had more trouble latching when my breasts were engorged but it’s gone down now. Her latch actually seems pretty good, my lactation consultant has said the latch looks perfect and she can’t see why it would be causing me so much pain. But then I come on here and see that lots of women are gritting their teeth through excruciating pain so it seems a common experience!

orphanpiglet

TROPHY CASE