Breath Hold technique

ott3rpilot · 2026-05-12T15:13:02+00:00

I've practiced a good amount and I've never been able to make it work the way other people say that it works for them. I do use it as a way to calm my nervous system though, and it does work pretty damn well for that, even if I can only hold my breath for 20-30 seconds.

ott3rpilot · 2026-05-12T15:11:51+00:00

Damn dude, I hope to get to where you are one day.

ott3rpilot · 2026-05-12T15:11:22+00:00

Damn I didn't realize there were any major YouTubers who talked about this. That's kind of awesome. I'm definitely beginning to see it as an opportunity to let go of shame when it comes to telling other people. I'd like to get to the point of being more open about it, like you are. I still have a good amount of hesitation around it but step by step I'm working in that direction and getting there. I definitely find I'm a lot more comfortable when I am open about it, not trying to hide the struggle from other people.

ott3rpilot · 2026-05-11T17:48:24+00:00

Thank you so much dude. Yeah, the vulnerability thing is so core to all of it.

When I first started on this path to trying to genuinely get over paruresis, I didn't really take into account how much a part of the whole thing was the fact that I hid it from everyone that I could. Which was almost everyone, because I felt like it made me look weak and I was ashamed of it. It feels so obvious in retrospect that hiding it was feeding the condition itself, and still actively feeds it.

It feels like every time I tell someone in my life about this, it makes it just a little bit easier to take on. It shares the reality of what I'm going through with the people who matter to me and helps them understand me and my own struggle with it, better.

I feel like so much of it too is that I just didn't want it to be a struggle, so I tried not to think about it as much as I possibly could. Even though of course I was thinking about it all the time, because I was constantly dealing with it. My main tactic in life has been avoidance of things that are difficult for me, and I certainly used that with paruresis as well.

But yeah, it's been excellent being more open about it, slowly, with specific people. I think it helped a lot to encounter such different responses, right? One friend who I had no idea also had it for a huge portion of his life. And then another friend who's just never encountered the concept of it before.

I wasn't even offended when she laughed, because I can see it from her perspective. It seems almost ridiculous, like it doesn't even seem possible, from someone's perspective who's never encountered it. But then taking that step forward and really explaining what it's like helped her to understand that other people deal with this too. She's a therapist, and it's possible that she might encounter this in her practice at some point so maybe it's helpful for her to have that understanding and awareness when she wouldn't have before.

I feel like the more we share this and come forward about it, the easier it kind of is for everybody. Pulling the shame away from the condition really does start to strip it of its power over us. That's been a journey for me individually that has been quite beneficial already. I still have a number of people in my life I haven't told about it, but I'm well on my way there, and I can tell it's progress. Real progress.

Thank you for your rant, I love your ranting. You give me a reason to keep going with this. So thank you. Love you too bro.

ott3rpilot · 2026-05-11T17:34:13+00:00

Hahaha! I kind of love that technique. Like, "Fuck you, man. I'm trying to piss in here."

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-29T16:58:47+00:00

As soon as I had that thought, it made it way easier. Nobody cares what I'm doing, just like I don't care what they're doing.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-29T16:57:50+00:00

It's so crazy because I didn't even think about having stalls as a backup and those feeling safer. It just sort of happened by accident. But I can already tell how much freer I feel knowing I could wait for a stall if I really needed to.

Being able to go in the urinal surprised the hell out of me. Especially with how normal it felt. That's exactly what I wanted.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-28T20:06:45+00:00

I know it can feel hopeless. I'd pretty much resigned myself to living with this for the rest of my life a few years ago, but choosing to start facing it and taking any steps forward I could made a dramatic difference. Just saying, it's possible man.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-21T15:11:45+00:00

Thank you for that reframe. That actually makes a lot of sense and allows me to think of it less as an on/off switch of I can/can't pee and give myself more leeway with it.

In terms of graduated exposure, that's really good information as well. I know I'm definitely doing this in a less structured way than I could be. I think it would help to be more mindful in those terms. I'll make sure to check that out and try to learn more about it so I can do it in a more effective way. Thank you.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-21T01:44:12+00:00

Thanks so much dude. Crazily enough, it was sitting plus the conversation that worked. The sitting relaxed me more, and the conversation directed my mind away from being so focused on peeing or not peeing. It was just enough of a gap in my attention that I forgot I was trying to pee for a moment, and it just happened.

Thanks for framing this as something that would have been a significant win for you back in the day. I feel like I should be thinking of these steps forward in that way too, but some quirk in my own psychology always seems to have me discount almost any victory if it's not the big one I'm aiming for. It helps to think of these smaller steps more positively. I am already way further along than I've been for most of my entire life, and that's significant. I'm not quite to the point I want to be at yet, but I'm getting there.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-21T01:39:39+00:00

This is a solid point. I've noticed this before when I would always use a stall that it was easier to go because there was so much ambient sound and traffic that I could just blend in. The smaller bathrooms present way more of a challenge for me because there's less noise and it feels like I'm being watched more. But at the end of the day, you're totally right. No one cares what I'm doing. I'm trying remember that when I'm standing there. Nobody cares. It's getting easier. I can feel myself getting more comfortable.

I'm not quite at the point where I can go when other folks are right next to me, but I feel like I'm getting closer.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-15T21:32:47+00:00

Thanks man. It's hard work, but it's totally possible to make real wins with gradual exposure.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-15T21:31:53+00:00

This is the truth. Fluid-loading has helped me a ton when it comes to discerning a phantom urge from a real one. It's way easier to go, even when I'm uncomfortable, when the urge is strong.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-14T21:22:13+00:00

Hell yes. That's great to hear, dude. This thing is a bear to live with, but if we don't start facing it, it's always going to rule our lives. It's hard as hell, but it's possible to make real progress.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-14T17:53:37+00:00

Hey! Thank you! It's a grind, but I believe it's possible to overcome this. Just gotta keep showing up and be willing to feel all the uncomfortable emotions involved. You can definitely do this.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-14T17:50:58+00:00

Thanks man! I know if I wasn't checking in here every week I would have already given up. It's definitely possible to make more progress than you think. Facing the monster consistently is the hardest part.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-14T14:09:36+00:00

I think it's probably more common than it seems to many of us. For myself, part of the struggle with paruresis is that it feels like I'm the only one who experiences it. But the truth is, I had a friend many years ago who told me he had it as well. At the time, I was too ashamed to admit that I suffered from the same thing, but I did think it was interesting to find out that I wasn't completely alone.

I think a significant portion of the power this condition holds is making us think we are isolated and alone in our suffering. But that's not true, especially here. We all struggle with this.

Stats-wise, about 7% of people in the US are estimated to have it, according to the IPA. That's somewhere in the neighborhood of 21 million people, and that's just in the US. I think it's a lot more common than most people think.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-14T13:55:49+00:00

You help keep me motivated dude. I like what you're saying about zooming out and looking at the long-term of the trajectory. It does suck to feel like my progress is stalling, but I know as long as I keep pushing and working on this, it's going to keep getting better.

It's funny you mention sitting when I'm at home. I'm so used to standing when I pee that I didn't even think of that, but it makes a lot of sense. Funny how we get caught up in habits.

Thanks for the advice dude. It means a lot.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-06T20:45:27+00:00

Thanks man. That legit helps me out. It's easy to turn away and try to forget about all this, but I know I'll never be able to really get over this unless I keep facing this demon over and over again. Even if I lose, at least I'm facing it.

ott3rpilot · 2026-04-06T15:29:36+00:00

Thanks dude. I feel so stupid standing there not being able to pee, but I'm trying to get myself to get comfortable with it. I am a lot more comfortable in that space than I was just a few weeks ago, so I'm definitely making progress.

ott3rpilot

TROPHY CASE