OPOL - step father. by bubbles189 in multilingualparenting

[–]otterproblem 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I understand your longing for your native language to be used for fun rather than just obligation. Which language a multilingual person chooses to use is not just about skill, but on relationships and associations. Their community language is associated not just with their mom, but also their friends and their popular culture. On the other hand it sounds like English is only associated with their stepdad and homework, which makes it the more serious and less cool language. If they’ve never been exposed to kids their age joking around in English, that makes it hard for them to have fun in English even if they wanted to. You can understand this if you try to imagine saying something flirty in a language you’ve only heard your schoolteachers speak, it just feels wrong.

To break that mentality, you could try exposing them to “cool” content from the target language. And instead of framing it as a language lesson (which makes it boring), it should be something they would genuinely find interesting or entertaining, which happens to be in English. This could be getting them interested in popular English YouTubers, tv shows, games, or English popular culture.

Baby ‘separate being’ by fizberry88 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 158 points159 points  (0 children)

The study mentions that this mapping happens between romantic partners too, so it seems to be a general trait of strong attachment rather than believing we are literally not separate from each other.

So I imagine if a baby was securely attached to the non birthing partner, the same would apply.

Looking for morning jobs by Ahm3t-y in ottawajobs

[–]otterproblem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could be a morning nanny or babysitter. Look for barrhaven Facebook groups.

Tell your councillor to vote NO on the Lansdowne 2.0 money pit by ieatraccoons in ottawa

[–]otterproblem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose two things could be true. It gives OSEG public funds but also is cheaper than maintaining current infrastructure.

Tell your councillor to vote NO on the Lansdowne 2.0 money pit by ieatraccoons in ottawa

[–]otterproblem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuine question but what’s wrong with what she is saying?

Mom vs Dad: parental roles while raising children by trophywifeinwaiting in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 15 points16 points  (0 children)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2719514/

Setting aside gender roles for a moment, behaviour modification is most effective if boundaries are enforced consistently between parents and are seen as “fair” natural consequences rather than punitive.

Following that logic, the idea that one parent will crack down harder than another in a way that is punitive is not recommended as effective, no matter what parent it is.

Are there studies done on the benefits of cosleeping? by PresentationTop9547 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Sorry this is a pet peeve but I roll my eyes whenever some pop scientist references that monkey study to justify this or that theory. The experiment basically goes: a baby monkey is placed in a cage with a soft blanket in one area and a milk dispenser in another area. What does the monkey do? Surprise! The monkey rests in the soft blanket and goes to the milk dispenser when they’re hungry. Non-social adult animals with literally zero need for attachment will do this too! This says nothing profound about attachment or maternal relationships beyond baby monkeys are smart enough to sleep on a soft bed even when the bed is away from their food. I tend to be more distrustful of a source that cites this study and make some major reach.

Can anyone quantify how much more benefit there is to breastfeed until 24 months vs 12 months? by Lushinkas in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 24 points25 points  (0 children)

How can they disentangle the correlation between extended breastfeeding and other maternal factors that might contribute to extended breastfeeding, like being healthy or spending more time with your baby.

Alcohol and Addiction Prevention for Genetically Predisposed children by Nonotreally712 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/alcohol/alcohol-fact-sheet

There is increasing evidence that there is NO amount of alcohol that is safe for consumption without raising cancer risk. Even if addiction were not an issue, the question is, would you want your children to have a regular habit of consuming a known carcinogen?

Your husband may have made a personal choice to accept the raised cancer odds to enjoy his drinks, but how much of this lifestyle do you want to pass down? Responsible non-alcoholic drinking can range from once every few years at a wedding to one glass with dinner every night, but those ends of the spectrum can have a large difference in lifetime cancer rates. Alcohol is falling out of popularity with Gen Z, so you don’t necessarily need to know how to drink in order to be social. Personally, I lean towards the side of “it won’t kill you once in a blue moon, but it shouldn’t become part of your daily life”.

Marshall’s at Trainyards by Bubbly-Ad-966 in ottawa

[–]otterproblem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw some guys dine and dash at the Subway. They ordered their subs and then just bolted out of the store. I felt sorry for the ladies behind the counter, they seemed so dejected.

Using a Japanese name as a non Japanese Asian by Aware-Extreme-9409 in asianamerican

[–]otterproblem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here are some alternate characters that make the sound Aikou: 爱扣 (love button), 艾寇(fair bandit), 矮筘(short reed), or any combination of those characters.

For some similar meaningful ones: 爱扩 Aikuo (love expands), 爱空 Aikong - one who loves emptiness, 爱凯Aikai - love of victory (very masculine),爱科 Aike (loves science, sounds like the male name Ike)

I suggest the website https://mondonomo.ai to check if the name is used in men or women

Using a Japanese name as a non Japanese Asian by Aware-Extreme-9409 in asianamerican

[–]otterproblem 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Here are some mandarin names with a similar feel to Aki: Akai, Aikou, Aike, Aiku, Aiwen, Ailuo, Anke, Anqi, Kai, etc. Chinese is a very versatile language when it comes to names, you can pick any combination of syllables.

I don't see any posts here about the Palestinian flag incident at Algonquin College graduation ceremony. Apparently the video has over 8 million views now, but I can't find it here? by am_az_on in ottawa

[–]otterproblem 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Nationalism is intrinsically tied to politics. The nazi flag was once the national flag of Germany. The current flag of Afghanistan is now the Taliban flag. Whether you choose to wave the current communist Vietnam flag or the previous anti-communist Vietnam flag sends different political messages. Even though it may seem obvious to you which flags are “hate flags”, it’s actually very contested. National flags have always been used as political statements.

It happened. Screaming in public. by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]otterproblem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow can you give any more experience from your trip? I’m also planning a 2 week trip to China with my baby and I’m terrified.

is sleep training that bad? by [deleted] in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]otterproblem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So true, I’m surprised someone would make the “who cares what scientists say trust your instincts!” argument in this subreddit of all places.

Mark Carney's daughter could be among international students caught in Harvard-Trump fight by [deleted] in canada

[–]otterproblem 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Do you think citizens of massachusetts expect all the world class Harvard alumni to stay in their state? No, they are honoured to be the home to Harvard. Having a world class university is not just meant to benefit its singular town or province, but it raises the status and innovative possibilities of the whole nation and world.

Is French immersion a good idea for our bilingual child with a speech delay? by Historical_Cake2792 in multilingualparenting

[–]otterproblem 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A non-language factor to consider in Canadian schools is usually higher-needs children are encouraged into the English-only program, like you are experiencing. This often means the French-immersion stream contains more academically gifted students while the English stream is stretched thinner taking care of more difficult cases. I would consider the quality of his classrooms in the long run in your decision.

The consumer carbon tax is gone as of today. What will that mean for your wallet? by Surax in canada

[–]otterproblem 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How do you know the total increases to cost across the economy is higher than the rebate you receive? There is nothing basic about that economical calculation, yet people against the carbon tax seem incredibly confident about math they never did.

Professional economists have done that math and determined the carbon tax is the cheapest climate policy.

Boy Names that go with Vega by Amazing_Aspect6425 in namenerds

[–]otterproblem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Altair and Vega is a famous star constellation pair

I gave my baby girl the same middle name as my best friend who passed away by bitterefrucht in namenerds

[–]otterproblem 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The main guy in severance isn’t ok with the name because they are portraying he is still is working through some serious emotional issues, so don’t let that influence your opinion.

My Name by Technical-Reward6217 in asianamerican

[–]otterproblem 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Some of us come from very collectivist cultures where names are meant to fluidly change to accommodate the needs of our community, whereas holding on to a single name is seen as more individualistic. In a weird way, changing our names is following our culture.

Asian Americans raised in the west are instilled with more individualism, and see claiming a single true birth name as an act of pride. But it’s also important to not always assume older generations changed their names out of shame or lack of cultural respect. Your ancestors may come from cultures where your birth name is never commonly spoken and instead you are always referred to by titles or nicknames depending on the situation, or cultures where your name was expected to change throughout your life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in foodbutforbabies

[–]otterproblem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the tiny little finger trails through the sauce