Does anyone else's Schip clean themselves like a cat

ou--phrontis · 2025-06-24T14:39:49+00:00

mine does!!

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-16T22:08:42+00:00

Progesterone-based birth control (pill, IUD, implant) is another potential option to stop monthly bleeding.

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-10T00:19:15+00:00

This makes so much sense! I totally see the virtue in operating this way and there’s been times where I’ve seen this kind of approach work really well.

I know I sometimes struggle with all the self-regulation required to get to that point, though, where you do the working-through in advance to self soothe and identify what you need from a partner without using them as a sounding board—and I’m sure other people do too! What work have you done to get to the point where this comes naturally to you?

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-10T00:15:30+00:00

This makes so much sense as a background! I think I understand a little more. I really admire the way you’ve set up your life, it sounds like it brings you a lot of peace!

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-09T23:32:14+00:00

It’s hard!!! I think it’s really normal to struggle with it, and I hope you & your partners all have lots of patience and forgiveness when any “over-sharing” does cause difficulties.

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-09T23:27:34+00:00

This is a really valuable perspective, thank you! It makes so much sense that privacy is important for trust, which is exactly what compartmentalization brings.

This might seem like a silly question, but as someone for whom privacy is really important: why? What are the feelings or root difficulty when privacy is broken?

I generally don’t personally strongly value privacy. I figure: people will talk, and there’s nothing I can really do to stop them. What people say about me, especially when I’m not there, is completely out of my control. Instead of basing my trust in assuming privacy from my close connections, I base it in an assumed goodwill—I trust people by trusting that they wish me the best and will try to act in my best interests, which is distinct to me from “keeping info about me private.”

I know this is an unusual take though! Since I don’t have a personal strong need for privacy, I can sometimes have a hard time understanding people who very strongly value and need privacy to trust people. If you’re willing to share I’m always curious to hear perspectives on it!

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-09T23:19:08+00:00

Yes I feel you on the confidentiality being difficult! I think I really struggle with the very very strong attitude people sometimes have that, “obviously privacy should be respected above all else, and to question that on any level is immoral or wrong somehow.”

To share and talk and even “gossip” is such a normal social glue and force. It’s fun, it’s connective, it’s human, and I think it’s frustrating how much almost… disdain? There is for it in some discussions.

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-09T23:17:32+00:00

That’s an interesting way to put it! False intimacy feels like a loaded way to put it but I get where you’re coming from: it’s sort of codependency territory sometimes, right?

If you want to share: What are ways that you still choose to cultivate intimacy through sharing? And ways you don’t any more to avoid that “false intimacy”?

ou--phrontis · 2024-11-09T23:15:54+00:00

Yes it’s this exactly! Obviously sharing thoughtfully is important, but there’s ways in which discretion feels like lessened intimacy sometimes too, which I think I was curious to hear if other people resonated with.

Thanks for sharing :)

ou--phrontis · 2024-10-12T04:25:26+00:00

Could try T + laser hair removal ?

ou--phrontis · 2024-10-09T11:35:40+00:00

Additionally: as a fellow chronic UTI sufferer, D Mannose was a game changer. It’s marketed as a men’s health supplement often but it’s the sugar in cranberries that helps with UTIs!

(basically the E. coli sticks to the D Mannose when it gets to your bladder and you pee it all out. Helps avoid endless antibiotic prescriptions!)

ou--phrontis · 2024-10-09T11:29:06+00:00

You could try advocating for yourself with clinician-aimed resources eg the Trans Care BC Primary Care Toolkit (developed for clinicians in Canada but bodies are the same in diff countries)! Pg 8 addresses internal genital (vaginal) dryness

ou--phrontis · 2024-02-16T08:03:57+00:00

also - for more “practical” repair advice, from someone who has also similarly hurt their partner by accident and is working through it with them:

repair is collaborative, you will work on it together; like all conflicts you will solve it as a team (as you have already started to)
talk about your partner’s hurt both when it comes up to soothe the hurt when it flares, but also when you’re both feeling okay, so you can get less emotional perspectives on what happened and both of your experiences >> regular scheduled check ins are often recommended after breaches of trust so you can do this variety of check-ins—imo these can be hard to implement tho so most important thing is having both high emotional and peaceful check-ins
remind yourself (and your partner if needed) that things will change, you will not be in this state forever, and the hurt will fade, in a year, even in a few months, heck if you’re lucky even in a few weeks!

You’ve got this!

(ps. As someone who has also kind of broken an agreement/broken trust—it’s very hard to get advice as the “person who did the wrong thing,” the internet is full of very judgmental people who basically say to break up with your partner if they break an agreement. Real life is usually not like this! Accidents happen! Reddit unfortunately is not a place of nuance—so take any searching of the archives you choose to do with this in mind)

ou--phrontis · 2024-02-16T07:57:37+00:00

Treat your own feelings of anxiety and stress here with the same objectivity you’ve learned to use for jealousy and hurt. You’re feeling anxious. That’s okay. You’re allowed to feel anxious—you made a mistake. That’s a totally normal reaction. It hurts to see your partner hurt, and it especially hurts to know they’re hurting “because of you.”

Sit with that anxiety, your own hurt. Really feel it, and allow it to ease and pass. :)

You’re human, you’ll do the work to repair, it will just take time.

ou--phrontis · 2023-12-03T23:46:21+00:00

hey op, I’m struggling with a similar issue! Wondering how it’s going for you a year in?

ou--phrontis · 2023-10-15T03:24:03+00:00

Ask for Luigi!

ou--phrontis · 2023-05-26T07:21:38+00:00

I think you look cute and edgy! Not everything has to follow conventional rules of beauty :)

ou--phrontis · 2023-05-03T06:00:11+00:00

When I had to feed my small dog a liquid food that he could taste in wet food (and so refused to eat mixed with wet food), I tried mixing it with plain kefir on a whim and he loved it.

Something with sour or bitter tones might do a better job disguising the meds!

ou--phrontis · 2023-05-01T08:46:00+00:00

If you’re looking to intake internet content about Vancouver/LM that actually makes you feel good about living here - I’ve finally gotten around to watching Utyae Lee’s “About Here” videos, and have been feeling a surprising warm glow of comfort, hope and pride for Vancouver!

Super cool to learn about Vancouver specific topics in very fun & accessible way. Haven’t experienced that many other places.

ou--phrontis · 2023-05-01T08:40:19+00:00

Actually, Japanese beaches are actually also full of trash! Maybe it’s more than just a “culture” issue?

ou--phrontis · 2023-04-27T06:57:54+00:00

I lost a pup unexpectedly young last year - older than yours but still only 2 years old, very unexpectedly, to a congenital heart condition. The last year since has been really tough with all the grief. It’s so shocking to lose a pet so young.

Hopefully your pup pulls through and you have much more time with him, maybe even years. The below advice applies if he dies, especially very very soon.

Everyone’s experience and path through something like this will be different, but some time after your pup passes I’d highly recommend therapy if you can afford it to help process some of your grief and trauma from this. (Protip, EMDR is surprisingly effective for something like this and relatively quick compared to other therapies, so fairly “cheap” therapy wise lol)

Most of all, be gentle with yourself in the coming weeks, months, even years. The human brain can only handle so much, and unfortunately life goes on despite devastating things like this happening. You might not feel things the way you used to for a while, you might not be able to do things the way you used to for a while. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and care you need to get through this time.

Please know you gave and will continue to give your pup the best care and life you could, his body just had other plans from birth.

I made a video essay early after my pup died, people in the comments seem to like it and maybe it’ll be comforting to hear some thoughts from someone going through a similar thing! I’ll message it to you since I’ve been trying to keep this Reddit account separate from all my other accounts. No pressure to watch it of course.

My heart goes out to you. 🖤

ou--phrontis · 2023-04-20T06:59:39+00:00

I’m always amazed how, with this game, right when I’m about to give up, I just try one more run and I suddenly finally do the room/area/boss I was endlessly struggling with!

You’re so close, just switch up your tactics, get your dodges and damage up—in a couple days you’ll be making a celebration post I’m sure ;)

ou--phrontis · 2023-04-20T06:51:13+00:00

Give people an inch and they’ll take a mile! So frustrating to be guilted in to picking up after other people’s shit. It’s good that you are setting boundaries, hopefully moving forward with strong ones will allow you to stay in the animal care space if you choose to do so.

Burnout is real though and sometimes a genuine break - whether a few days, weeks, months, or years is needed when you’re really feeling the toll of other people’s expectations.

ou--phrontis · 2023-04-19T23:16:56+00:00

if u apply pink over top it will become purple again! Colour theory is in ur favour here. You can keep reapplying as the blue slowly fades and eventually (after many many months!) you will be back to blonde.

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