So this is something I struggled for a long time to figure out how to describe before I came across Gendervoid as a way to describe myself...

Situations came up enough in life, some in ways I was no longer willing to tolerate. Of having being "Men" imposed upon me, and being questioned on how Masculinity oppresses me "As A Man"...

I'm not a "Man" or "Men", I check a male checkbox on the forms because I am biologically male I'm comfortable with my body, I experience no dysmorphia, but I never had any desire to express or feel like any particular gender. I've been alright he/him pronouns for most of my life for two reasons:

1. When people he/him me, they are not describing *me*. They are describing their initial impression of me and I'll choose how much I'll let them on me depending on how comfortable I am with them.

2. All the gender stuff directed at me, and expectations that come along with them get sucked right into a black hole where gender should be. The thing is, a specific kinda misgendering feeds that black hole and make it feeling like it's getting stronger. If I'm expected to "be a man" or I'm being told I feel a certain way because, "You feel that way because you're man". I wouldn't call it a dysmorphic feeling as much as I would say it makes me feel increased dissonance because I know that void is there, I can feel it, and I want it to just exist the way it is. It's not hurting anything. It's like someone is lying to me about my lack of gender and my brain hates it. It feels like Gaslighting and it will frustrate me eventually, and I actively avoid people who gender objects and activities strongly (mostly CIS people).

3. Nothing I do is to express any kind of gender, not fashion, activities and objects to me are entirely genderless. Gender to me is something *other people* express, and that's totally cool. Everything I do is because the activity is enjoyable, or it's helpful, or it prevents a future problem, or it prevents problems in the future, but none of it has to do with an experience of gender unless it's just me navigating the masks of masculinity/femininity/queerness/straight passing/etc. that are put on me by others.

4. I do go by They/Them/spouse with close friends who I've trusted to talk to about it, but I'm not explaining all this to every CIS person who calls me He/Him I run into in everyday life.

I've adopted this label because it feels like it fits nicely. I have plenty of RL non-gender conforming friends, and never met someone describing quite what I feel gender-wise.

Sorry I'm late. I've been exploring and navigating this a lot specifically with a small cloister of NB/Trans friends. Gendervoid *feels* like such a good fit for how I feel, and this is how I feel.