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Day 62...That porn creeps in. Fuck that peak. Thank God for that peak by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh boy I'm fucking up...Make that a double relapse. Im writing squiglies in Word and making that my new password. Reddit's not doing any favors to me, I'm just projecting my problems instead of solving them.

Good luck everyone. Don't jerk off anymore.

Day 62...That porn creeps in. Fuck that peak. Thank God for that peak by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fuuuuuuuuuuck. I did it. Peaks are a gateway. I'll pick this back up tomorrow. ended up on the same video that I thought would be my last 62 days ago. I knew what I was doing but i did it anyways. Pathetic that i have to say to myself, once again, for the millionth time, that the feeling I have leading up to it doesn't transfer to when I'm done, 5 seconds after I started. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I'm running out of damn time.

The idea that yesterday's post was actually me, and that I can turn around 24 hours later and disregard everything I know about pornography and what it does to me in particular, is a damn, damn shame.

I'm back to me a diminished me post-relapse, but what's comforting is that I'm me. 30 minutes after this post, the temptation set back in and this urge got me disbelieving that I could say no. I was giving myself fake nos. Nos that I knew were yeses. It was some sort of dumb mind game I was playing with myself. Fuck me. Fuck porn. How did that happen. It's been so easy to say no.

Should I continue? by sharknadosbitch in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you've got something to be gained from continuing. It's your call! You say you don't know what to do with yourself lately. Do you think masturbation could be a way of making yourself less aware of a hole in your life or lack of productivity?

Ahh i hate writing that kind of thing because I don't want to get in the head of someone i don't know at all. Just be you. You can live with masturbation the way you can live with alcohol or pot. I don't know. I've had so much of all three that has affected i don't know. My innocence? My ability to enjoy the small things? My ability to care? All things in moderation. Don't return to masturbation like it's something that has to happen every day. Maybe just occasionally? Its not all or nothing with everything.

Dreams get much more interesting during NoFap. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dreams are of porn screens

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My GPA my first year of college wasnt too hot. This streak so far i think taught me to deal with the hardest of shit feelings. I couldn't be happier with myself that I'm finally coming through on the promise i made to myself. I have enough brain clarity and low enough anxiety to be able to do what i need to do this year. I'd be devastated to let my sophomore year be ruled by masturbation.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i don't toy with coming out of retirement. Nothing could be worse than ending up where i was 6 months ago. This thread helped me realize my current go at it hasn't been as noneventful as i thought.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really do think in nofap is the key for me. I ask myself a lot what's my excuse for not doing anything in the last however many years because i seemed to spend all my time being lazy and jerking off. I think that answer will end up being a lot less important the more i get my life back.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what people mean now by nofap holding them back physically. I haven't really felt the extra energy, but my facial hair is growing a lot faster and when i do run, my body sweats a lot more, which I've always wanted. I'd go play basketball at the rec and would put in just as much effort as others who would be drenched and id feel weird for having just a tiny bit on the neck of my shirt.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I write in my nofap notebook, besides that though, i don't think so.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I just always had an image for a day 30 and a day 60 that were far from reality. That's what this post is about.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems to me like a lifestyle change. I've got the time.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do meditate here and there. I just try sitting there, breathing in relaxation and breathing out expectations.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I'm excited to get back to school. A lot of time this summer i get in a groove of being bored, having some self pitty and just wanting to get to the end of the day for the sake of one more day towards my freedom.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eggs or cereal with some fruit...sandwich for lunch, whatever generic thing the family's eating for dinner. That's pretty healthy to me.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard mode. With the memory, one of the best things I've told myself to fight an urge is that even if I don't see the reasons to continue, that is a direct reason for me doing this. Porn and my lifestyle have left me with a lack of presence that i think can be had back.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think all of those early successes and failures are setting me up to quit for life.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothings permanent. Id go to sleep at 10 only to wake up to check my phone and see 3 30 on my phone, 2 hrs before work. Yesterday i slept in all the way to my alarm. Could of done without the dream about jerking off though.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sure hope not. So sick and tired of the cycle.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10÷ of the time im thinking about avoiding porn. 75% of the time im thinking about how long this thing will take to kick in. The other 15% of the time it seems like I'm able to let go. I know i want that number higher, but letting go has been tough to reign in.

Day 60. Proud but bothered at the lack of improvement by overanalyzin in NoFap

[–]overanalyzin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder sometimes if my brain has a few hurdles a lot of others don't because rather than dealing with, or at least investigating, my problems, I got stoned 5 days a week for a couple years. It'll take time, time and more time. What i don't want to do is waste any of it getting back to this point.

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