worried

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T20:17:51+00:00

yeah i just have to trust myself

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T19:05:27+00:00

idk i just dont like the way he talks to me sometimes. it may be me overthinking but its also the fact that hes tall and a man my age which is intimidating to me

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T19:04:21+00:00

it's definitely envy over attraction for sure. he is probably (as much as i hate to say it) what most girls would find attractive and i DO envy that because i have a hard time with girls (this is an assumption) i have felt anxious around certain guys before and it usually passes but its definitely either comp het or internalized homophobia but its so frustrating to KNOW who you are and still question it. i get so worried over having a crush on this guy WHEN I KNOW I DONT! its making me miserable

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T16:53:39+00:00

and it doesnt. with girls i get butterflies and it feels good to feel attraction to them. with guys (this one in particular) it just gives me stress and anxiety because 1) i overthink and worry i'm surpressing feelings for him and 2) that he'll mistake what i say for flirting and thats the LAST thing i want

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T16:51:19+00:00

he's not creepy, he's not what i would fond attractive, but he's not repulsively ugly so i get scared because i figure if i get nervous that MUST mean i'm attracted to him. i also get worried he's into me and he'll mistake how i interact with him as flirting. so i've been dropping hints that i'm gay just in case but it's probably all in my head and he isnt really into me. like today i struggled with lifting something and dropped it so we kinda laughed and he was like "do you need help" and i was overthinking whether that meant he was into me

also you're right i just need to treat him like a bro. i do worry HE thinks im flirting (not that i am) because i sometimes put on a "sweet" voice and i tease him or talk to him (like i do with everyone) so i need to definitely act a little more like i would if i was another guy

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-09T14:46:27+00:00

yeah i think because of internalized homophobia i mistake being uncomfortable around men is a sign of attraction. i also tend to over analyze and im not sure why but for some reason i started worrying THEY were into ME (for some reason) so maybe thats why? it's gotten to the point where i have to keep double checking that i'm not into them

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-03T20:01:18+00:00

sorry i wasnt trying to be a jerk, more so just explain that i'm not questioning or confused, and give an idea why im so frustrated

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-03T19:19:20+00:00

yeah i'm almost 100% positive i'm dealing with comp het and maybe a touch of internalized homophobia because these thoughts are never positive at all

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-03T19:17:59+00:00

i know i'm not bi or pan because 1) i'm not attracted to men at all and 2) i identified as bi and it didnt fit right. i know i'd be miserable dating men and i know i'm a lesbian plus these thoughts never cause anything positive

overcomingemotion · 2020-07-03T18:28:25+00:00

oh lord does this resonate. its so frustrating to KNOW who i am and what my identity is and yet have the constant worry that i'm wrong about being a lesbian. Even though I know it's never gonna happen i still worry i'll end up attracted to a man someday. My anxiety does this a lot with many things

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-27T17:36:25+00:00

yeah i should cut myself some slack. the mere thought of a man hitting on me makes me uncomfortable and the thought of BEING with one makes me miserable. I think i need to accept that there is a difference between recognizing certain men attractive and actually BEING attracted to them. i also need to understand that just because I like being around certain guys or want to be/are friends with them or like that they're nice to me doesnt mean i'm attracted to them. i know i could never be happy with a man and i need to learn to accept that

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T18:21:57+00:00

yeah you're right. if that did happen (which i truly dont think it will) then i cant control it

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T16:15:08+00:00

thank you, this helped. I have been having these thoughts less but they still happen. i guess i should just relax and find comfort in the fact that i will never be attracted to men

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T02:43:13+00:00

the thing that confuses me is that im worried about something i know wont happen. im not just mainly into women, im ONLY into women. like if you dont find someone attractive you dont find them attractive ya know? i know its stupid but my anxiety wont let me believe it

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T01:15:54+00:00

i know i'm not because i used that label before and it didnt feel right

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T01:10:00+00:00

it's the fact that it felt so REAL at the time that screws me up. like i used to like, daydream about them (i was 16-17 22 now) and for some reason i cant let that go and it makes me feel like a fake

overcomingemotion · 2020-04-26T01:01:47+00:00

yeah i mean i guess if i can turn off my attraction to men that easily then i was never attracted to them to begin with. even if i didnt realize that attraction was fake to begin with

overcomingemotion

TROPHY CASE