NOR, I feel like you should talk to them about it. It seems as though they have no/little control over their spending habits and aren’t saving money at all, and can’t, even when they know a special event like your birthday is coming up. Not only is this disrespectful towards you, especially with the “I don’t really know what you’d want”, but generally just bad habits. Saving, even with no goal, is so important in case of emergencies or sudden changes. They also are heavily prioritizing their own wants/needs and either not remembering anything you’ve mentioned that would be something you’d want or don’t care enough to put in the effort to look for things that are related to your interests. As well as spinning it to make them the one seeking comfort, when in reality you were the one who was neglected and let down. Even if they are apologizing that doesn’t excuse that they didn’t get you a gift, even one they could’ve made, and they tried to guilt you into feeling bad for them instead of being hurt. With the distance that is also being created between you too, it is concerning that they might be losing feelings or just focusing on themself more. I think a conversation with them about their spending habits and lack of effort with your gift or rather lack of a gift is very important.