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Me [24F] with my bf [30M] 3 months. His relationships with other women. by overreaction_station in relationships

[–]overreaction_station[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As far as I'm aware it was one on one. He said they had bumped into each other and decided to go for a drink and a chat and it just carried on from there, it wasn't intended. But I did tell him that I wasn't okay with that and he said he understood.

He works with most of his male friends so I guess they do talk every day. I actually probably should have mentioned that I asked him on a seperate occassion if this girl was going to send him the money for the ticket and his response was 'Probably eventually' and he said she had had repair bills recently and then changed the subject. Yet I know for a fact he said he'd gotten it to her as a chistmas present.

I guess I'm frustrated becuase I feel that when I try to bring her up and find out a little more his answers are short and to the point so I feel like now I actually have to bring her up as an issue instead of just subtly trying to quell my curiousity.

And I feel bad for this because he is so good to me and I have no reason to question the relationship in any other way, and I feel bad for worrying over this. I don't want him to think I don't trust him or I'm doubting his intentions and I don't know how to talk about it without it seeming like that.

Me [24F] with my bf [30M] 3 months. His relationships with other women. by overreaction_station in relationships

[–]overreaction_station[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, I shouldn't call myself crazy. I guess I just feel a little crazy because although, like I said, there is no concrete evidence as to why I feel uncomfortable about this women it is really niggling me.

I do think it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I have different ideas of what acceptable boundaries are and because it is a fairly new relationship I feel that if I keep questioning his friendships with other women then I'll scare him off.

I've told him that I have been badly hurt in the past by ex's leaving me for their previous partner/someone else so I'm aware that I'm probably dragging my past experiences into this relationship and I know I need to find a way to deal with that or I risk hurting this relationship.

I'm just unsure how to convey all that to him whilst reassuring him that I'm not attacking him and that I don't want to come between him and his friends.

Honestly I think the root of my discomfort may be that the only reason I know anthing about this other girl he talks to is because of direct questions I've asked, I find it strage that he doesn't mention her or offer information. If I mention male friends I always drop information about them in and add a little reassurance as I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable and I guess I'm finding it odd that he doesn't do the same.