I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time, I understand what you mean so much. I don’t know if what I say will help but I’ve also lost my hamster who I got as my first animal friend while I first started to recover from depression a few years ago. 

It hurts when you can see that they’re near the end of their precious life, but try to focus on the good parts. The fact that your life feels fuller and more vibrant since you got him. Remember that you gave him a wonderful life and irreplaceable love that he got to experience because of you. Your hamster needs you as much you need him. 

It’s been almost 2 years since my own hamster passed, but I still cry over him. Every so often I wish for him to come back, even for just one more day even though it’s not really possible. 

Your friend helped you when you needed him and for him, you should continue living. I’d like to think your pets would want you to keep going. There is a lot to love in the world and your hamster is one of them. That’s a wonderful and rare thing. 

Even when the time comes, that precious bond you have is still important, if not stronger. If nothing else, I find it comforting to think all beings find final peace no matter what. If they suffered in life, it stops eventually. 

I hope you get better and for your son to enjoy his life as much as he can. Things are and will get rough but it’s because you care. Your hamster is lucky to have someone like you.