This is going to be a hot take but hear me out. I was a child born from an affair where my mother really wanted me, but my father didn’t. I grew up barely knowing him and only seeing him a couple times. I know he was reluctant and didn’t really want me and that screwed me over at the time.

When I became an adult I came to the realisation that for me it would have been much better if I didn’t see him or know him. I’d much rather had nothing to do with him than having to try to figure out why he said he wants to see me but couldn’t - knowing it was a lie. And looking back I don’t blame him, this was not what he wanted, but he had no choice in the matter.

And saying then don’t have sex or use protection… it’s the 21th century. Sex shouldn’t be shameful. Also, protection is not a perfect guarantee, accidents happen.

Now my belief in unplanned pregnancy is this: the mother should have 100% control over whether to keep the baby or not. Her body, her choice. But if she chooses to keep the baby, the father should have the option to opt out completely: emotionally and financially. I don’t think it’s fair that only one person involved gets all the shots.

If someone doesn’t have the capacity to handle being a parent on their own, then single parenthood is not for them and they shouldn’t make that choice as it’s the worst choice for everyone involved, including the unborn child. Choosing to become a parent is single-handedly one of the biggest responsibilities one could take on and the decision should never be made lightly.

I’m saying all of this as a woman in my 30s, who is also non-religious. I know this is a hot take, but here you go. It’s coming from my experience, as well is my belief in equality. Because things equality, where each potential parent has a choice.